Joe Rogan Experience #791 — Steve Schirripa Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Boom. We're live. Shutting the laptop. I don't need that. You got a flip phone? Absolutely. That's it. That's what I say. It's good to see you, brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I got bummed out when I heard they were tearing down the Riviera. Is it completely? And that used to be the female impersonator show. The guy's got to be in his 70s. that kind of thing.

3:01 One of those guys. fill-in i put sinbad in there really in crazy girls because it was upstairs you know the shows Look, a lot of stuff. But then you had Rickless, who was kind of just a different kind of mobster. So they just found a different way to skim the money, you know, through construction or whatever. So like all the air conditioners, you know what I'm saying?

5:13 You had Milton Berle, Sid Caesar. And I just, after I was done work, I'd go sit in the back of the room. The guys, the is kind of crooked. Tom Dreesen opened for Sinatra, If they pay me, I'll sing in a phone booth. He started losing a little. Yeah, absolutely. You know, I think whoever the powers may be, I don't know who that was. I saw Sammy Davis, you know?

7:37 Whoa. He was giving me 20, and I was for years. bouncer at the wedding to make sure fbi didn't get into the into the wedding swear to god they It was easy. know to be honest he had kids and i mean that's all i saw he was you know you have some drinks think at the rio no nightclubs they had two clubs in town paul anchor on one and then there was and Rich Little and whoever.

10:20 Well, you know, there's certain things. And he was headlining, but not that famous yet. but always chasing girls. You know, Scotty Pippen's famous. That's disgusting. I don't understand how a guy becomes that famous and that rich. I mean, I was always a good tipper. Of course not. You know what I like to do? You hear it all the time. because everybody comes through there.

13:24 Yeah, absolutely. What a cunt. Yeah, absolutely. Way back when. That's it. That's a character flaw that you just don't want to share. What's it take? I got a 90-year-old friend who was a captain in the showroom during Elvis at the Hilton. So these guys were buying land and they were investing Well, they no longer. He didn't want them to make as much, so they put it on the check now.

16:20 I'm going to give him $100. That's exactly right. And that's how it is now. Yeah, and it's done well. Yeah, he's doing like a temporary residency. He had called me. from way back from Crime Story. He was excellent in that movie. they recognized it. She's fucking hilarious. I saw him there Yeah, I guess. which, you know, you're a comedian. They couldn't even work now.

19:17 And you can't make fun of black people. world where there's so much of people are anonymous. They don't want to. They don't want to, though. But when they see it, they still know they did it. I guess. Like if a comedian, like any comedian, For what? He had a picture that he put on Twitter That's that is possible who wants to wear a dress but how do you do that it's a good But how do you do that? That's a good question. How do you do that? Well, that's why the idea of making people go to a bathroom

22:52 Discriminate against transgender people or people who feel like they were born in the wrong sex no not at all Yeah, she was fine. You know what I mean? And this is 19, what was it? Like, what was her name? Jonah? What was it? identifies with being a six-year-old I understand. I think George Carlin— Whatever happened to loving yourself? Right. that are fucking monster faces

26:09 It's dysmorphia. They think it's going to work, and then everybody else sees them and then they It is. You know, I got laid as much as I wanted when I was young and in Vegas and all that. And then I gained weight. I got laid as much as I wanted when I was young and in Vegas and all that. We're doing a show. I can't believe how much makeup this guy is fucking wearing.

27:45 A lot of people. Blue Bloods is CBS. and I play a DA investigator, so You know, I met him twice. Thanks for being here. It was shooting New York all over the city, so it's like the city's like another character, you know, other guest stars, but it's been good, you know. It was shooting New York all over the city. 2002. Yeah, and he put the city in the toilet, and there's a lot of homeless.

29:51 Campaign fraud and all kinds of shit. But I like New York. I just had a wild hair across my ass. And it's interesting. Well, you can't- neighborhoods which it's good for the neighborhoods because they're changing but they live in four and He's like, we got to get the fuck out of here. If you could afford it, it's great. still has great acts but it's not like they don't do like it's not like a big local scene you know

33:04 When I lived there, I lived in New Rochelle because I couldn't afford to park my car and I needed a car for road gigs. So 90 to about 90, somewhere around 95-ish. I'm not. Do they do it? flat out over the years he's given them envelopes because you know what they do is they come they'll This is what goes on. Wow. He's a hustler. Al Sharpton, get that money.

35:56 So many times. And he's never admitted to that. He's in the White House. I don't know where you go anymore. I like where people are so... Does he? Because I filmed something up there. Just not for me. I can't move with your hands around. Could you fix this? That's your environment. Your natural habitat. I don't know building. I don't know. A doorman building. Could you fix this?

37:53 I'll tip somebody to do it. My mother had passed away a few years ago. He said let's do something for your mother. Come on. Let's do something There it is right here, Uncle Steve's. My wife would cook, you know, when I was a kid, my mother, my grandmother. I got six cases. That's the biggest seller, but it's hot. People like it. No, no. Really? I'm not a spicy guy? Nah. No? So we're doing good with it. They can handle it. But not for me. It's not too well for me. You don't like spicy sauce? No, no.

39:52 That way we don't have to go sit in a waiting room and audition for bullshit. that i talked about that story because not not you auditioning, but that whole movie story because was funny and they made him the star of the movie, but he was a nobody as far as like And he was across the way from us saying, Yeah, that's a good And when you got someone who's funny, the last thing you want to do is tell them how to be funny.

42:11 They have so much money and they have so much influence and they want to make that monkey dance. He was a real nice guy. Yeah. He went on the radio. I gave you a job. Don't do that. Well, But you know, I mean, It's not a sense town. It's hard to get to that point, man. It's just so funny knowing you for so long and then seeing you, you know, doing so well now as an actor.

45:06 So then I got the job, and then I worked with a coach. She comes over the house. I have my ideas already, you know. Oh, you know what? Whatever, you know, he thinks. Yeah, 16 years. I did six episodes. I was still How hard is it? How hard is it to fucking book three comics a week? And you saw a lot of different colors. He wakes up, she's still there, just waiting for him to wake up,

47:53 it was like shooting a movie there's no commercial so it's a full hour but you know that's what it beautiful for her. It was a great There was a time that I had to say, I got to go, and the line was, I have to go. That's a crazy amount of work when you're talking about Gandolfini. But it was like no life. Yeah. I can't do this anymore. that's like a dirty secret working with an acting coach.

50:37 No, no, but I think like guys don't want to admit that I'm asking for help. Really? but they have someone work... Chris Rock used to do that. They're writing his monologue. He had a staff of writers. this right it is you know I guess comics don't want to admit to it yeah there are Absolutely. And it's not easy. But it's, like, in my voice, shit that I would say, you know what I mean?

53:24 And that alone will probably help you improve them. You don't like it? He's already got the retort. that's the new thing. I've had friends that do them. a dinosaur. Well, I think it is, which is why the different artists. He had Adele. He had this this one they're trying to do different stuff and I think and then he's a wonderful actor Hell no. He enjoyed it?

56:00 It's boring? and I get it, but, you know. He owns the restaurants. Maybe he just enjoys doing shitty movies. He does some shitty fucking movies too. but it's a lot of money because he can kind of do It's still possible. He can't be the same guy. He's out there? He did something in Africa with somebody, and they said No. It's like, I want to say like 90-ish, early 90s.

59:09 I gotta look for that. I don't know. That's when he played Jim Morrison, too. I would love to. of mine told me he made like a hundred grand. You know. gotta it's gotta take a chunk i mean come on well i just also think that making people pay for a And this one guy was giving me a hard time. I'm like, get out of here with those. MMA glove they want you to sign.

1:01:59 Well, a glove with your signature, that would be worth something, I guess. Oh, look at that. We all signed them. It's, you know, like seven of us, but it's not my signature. Then I got fat enough on my arm. they made it like a really nice one, like a costume shop. At first, I was prancing around. Steve Landesberg, remember the comment he sent to me?

1:04:30 you know a lot of fake Italian around but there was you know we did an appearance in the casino we just do a lot of that stuff you blackjack and, you know, He got really pissed off. And the thing here, they congregate together. Oh, they're brutal. They make these, I call them backyard movies. But they write this. There's got to be a few of them. you had a movie every week.

1:07:42 That was something, you know, It's like I asked somebody, I don't watch porn. Secretly. It took place in Brooklyn, and we turned it into a movie for Nickelodeon, you know, which we did. it and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So finally, I get the guy's number and I call the guy. It was the Italian-American bullshit. And it's not really about mob. No, they didn't.

1:10:17 I don't think we're putting Italians down. But he was your guy. Absolutely. They went outside. now. they shot the uh the show aired in 99 right i think they shot that like in 98 if i'm not mistaken You know what I mean? I mean, he replaced you and you never even knew it. he had the capacity to just shoot it again. That's okay. It was like a cult hit, like nothing that ever hit before.

1:14:04 He's okay. Especially the name, Big Pussy. to a regular cast member gets killed yeah i mean they're not killing the you know uh the guy from I mean. mean and plus you know we didn't we started making money towards the middle in the end you know not It all kind of came from The Sopranos. We used to joke, you know, they say TV puts 10 pounds on you. fight you know me and him had that fight in the first episode of that last season i mean you know

1:17:15 He was fucking choking me. Guys, it's not Steven Seagal. me go ahead go further you know you know like I said we you know we're good But I didn't I didn't hit him hard and you see that... Really smack me. I'm a big believer in eating. because I think it looks real. and then the next cut, it's like a quarter-eaten steak, I don't know. but I can handle that.

1:20:37 fake playing a guitar, There's things that you gotta who actually knows how to play like he's boxing like no one's hitting him back what do you think about like I never ran, but that movie made me go running. That was good. You know who did the best boxing movie, though? Is that what it's called, The Boxer? Very good. let there be blood. you know, You know what I mean, Joe? I can play a blue-collar guy, you know, whatever that is.

1:23:49 face. Completely. But those are Keanu Reeves? You know, that and that and that. Like Christopher Walken. It is a caricature, yeah. There was an old Letterman clip that I saw. Kevin Spacey's a bad motherfucker on that Netflix show. It's interesting that Netflix is doing stuff like that. The fuck's the Kevin Spacey? Does he ever jump in? Listen, it's the way it's going.

1:26:06 And it was Bill Burr, John Oliver, Louis Black, Dane Cook, and Billy Gardell. What you see is what you get. He makes pumpkin pie. I'm already going to get in trouble because I'm late. I've been doing the Blue Bloods. It's a pleasure. It would be. Fairway, Whole Foods, It's really good.