Joe Rogan Experience #800 — Bobcat Goldthwait Transcript

Transcript

0:00 We're live. Bobcat Goldthwait, what the fuck you doing going to a Bigfoot convention and then a Mothman convention? The researchers, I was talking to them, and I said, hey, we're really close to where the Mothman was. There's people who are self-aware. what was the uh professor from uh meldrum Meldrum, who's a really interesting guy. And you said, you know what?

2:20 They're good. what he's like my brother had been getting a dope permit in my name for like 20 years oh really yeah Well, no. So you were like a serious hunter. he was the other M word almost And so the priest is going on about how my brother Tommy loved the outdoors and he loved A lot of car accidents. And we pull up to his yard and there's just, there's just corn growing.

6:06 Oh, that's so fucked up. I'm sure he was probably burning one, too. And then they used that. So Tony V's going, your brother's certified. I go, yeah, man, that woodchuck's dead. What did he do for a living? my mother was great because they would come in you know uh my mother was sweet because she would lowlife and it wasn't you know what I mean asking what am i up to next you know for the next movie but there was a movie i wrote that i even

9:37 Come on, man. in a movie it's all tasteful how's it going i'm like well he's gay now and she goes so i'm just gonna keep renting we're He's like, hey, fag. There's not a goddamn thing you can do about it. Come on, Joe. with a twist. It was triumph. When I see what you do to this beautiful flower, it makes me want to go nuts. He was kind of the forerunner to uh

12:28 I know. I love motorcycles. If I lived somewhere like real quiet, I would seriously consider getting one. Yeah, it's bad here. But my brother also still had his ethics. It's just all the stories. So he was tripping balls fishing. Yeah. would you eat eggs you know, that's the And then that's where factory farming comes from because we're sort of ignorant to.

15:47 And part of it's funny when I got off of that stuff, everything, my heart's in great shape, I was furious over that idea. cat yeah and i stole a cat. How bizarre. She wouldn't hear it. But I worry about hawks. It's by this guy Steve Rinella. and when people started in every city in the country yeah there's coyotes in the So it's just that crying is the equivalent of, Bueller!

19:13 Well, when the gray wolves came back in North America, And it's because coyotes really are wolves. One killed one of my chickens. as scary as they are and all that, You don't feel that about coyotes? You say it's a wolf. really important because they kill off all the rats. Those are my cats. That actually reminds me of a story. And I have to say that I wasn't...

21:43 Surprised? But no, I really don't like to act. So I don't know if that was acting, So that meant now I'm, I'm sorry, I'm not off book, you know. I did say that. I just don't. And that when you're sort of imprinted at a young age, as you're going through puberty, sometimes very odd things will happen. give me an example of other ones i mean that feet yeah how does that work why would you why would

24:42 Also, though, there is something different. Something's happening. But it yeah also though i mean yeah there is something I mean, they don't really, they don't come away marked or anything like that. it's ruining something you, I don't, There's nothing that's so different than holding someone down with a rape choke and just smacking them in the face over and over again until they start crying while you're fucking them.

26:45 And so now they're going to retry him, I guess, under some other case or other people. But that's actually- The Crown dropped, is this really recently? Common and critical, first highlighted up at the top. scheduled. Instead, the charges expect to be odd dude, though. Because he was like, Right. Yeah, it's not. like they would reject him and they would be mean to him and he was going to all the wrong places

30:19 Like, Hollywood's all bullshit, man. And what happened is, from these men feminizers who are who are acting all sensitive but still pulling mad wool you know i mean there's It's very difficult while they're sexually viable because they're looking for attention. I just, no, I just, I don't want to control my woman. First of all, when did men start becoming feminists? Was it Alan Alda? Did he pull that shit first?

32:57 cared about women's rights, you'd identify yourself as a feminist. You ever look into that? It's real tricky, man, because you can't deny that some people that are a certain gender like they gravitate towards certain occupations. money from a corporation, then you're dealing with a totally different argument. And if you do that, pay scales. And apparently it's one of those political things where people say it and then

35:27 there is a thing where she was saying that she was upset that she didn't get as much money as bradley cooper but bradley cooper Jennifer Aniston. She's more famous. This guy, Steve Rinella from that Meat Eater podcast, who's actually a historian himself in a way, People do occasionally survive bear attacks like that. I'm worried about you. Let me try this. I don't go where grizzlies are stay where the black bears are

38:16 get back to Bigfoot. And after a while, we were like, dude. I am not going to lie. There was two guys. cause I shot some stuff did you try Really? gimlin was there your your your buddy did he did you ask him about the story and of course what Or he did. But did you, the John Landis? Right. Colthwaite I'm I'm writing an article for a magazine and I was wondering if

42:42 I went back and forth and kind of calmed him down a bit, but yeah. You know why it's obviously a man? Why? And his arms, he's got these long fucking fake-ass arms. Yeah, here it goes. Go back. Let me watch it again. Going to the, going to, all right, here we go. You're just sitting here looking at this No, like I've just been mocking this First of all, let's talk about it.

45:16 Get the video of Bob Hieronymus That thing isn't big. Look at this. I don't know why they did that. Put some shoulder pads on that guy. So you think it's a real Bigfoot. What makes you think this? And it's basically the stories I hear over and over with a sincerity i don't get But just the amount of the stories is fascinating to me. Now, my friend John is 6'5", I think.

48:21 I totally— I think that's what they're seeing. It's gone. but almost all archetypal characters. if they are created and things like that I think there was an animal at one time because they didn't know Giganopithecus was even an animal until the 1920s, I believe it was. chimpanzee that's just recently been confirmed to live in the congo they have a chimpanzee in

51:39 Little tiny people that they think also cannibalized humans. Gigantophagus. I mean, I do believe, but I also And they know, but then I hear something else, and they go, hey, man, that sounds like a coyote. And I was thinking to myself, why is a bullfrog near a blackberry bush? Because when you ask... Oh, that I would like. No. it, the Sasquatch Research Foundation?

54:54 And then just like any other belief in a deity, everybody's got their own version and everybody thinks their version's right. That's so funny, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a real cast. That's from one of the fucking from Finding Bigfoot. know. Yeah. I think this is given to me by Bobo from Finding Bigfoot. I'm going to fucking kick Bobcat's ass. I'm not, you know...

57:04 It's really good. I can talk to a guy who's seen a mountain lion. and then we saw one in the woods. Because they understand the threat and they get used to the threat and then they escape and they run away. they go like this. They let all the other elk know there's a person. They recognize the threat, and they take off. Because I go, well, let's just go to the left.

59:15 It's a lion. character would cry and he's like my character's not crying i'm crying why are we Truly, though. cause it was like boom boom were far away from each other and stay away from fat guys and then and then actually did like a I go, yeah, the guy said if he wasn't here, just jump the fence. Oh, that's so ridiculous. Ten bucks ticket. It's going to be released on LouisCK.com.

1:02:48 because they played the Globetrotters. But they knew it. I don't understand. what a weird idea yeah I thought they were due It's one of the best rides ever. It replaced the Back to the Future Yeah, it's great. I went with all of them. And I'm going to get her to wear heels. rigmarole. But the Harry Potter ride Go on. I just Everywhere you go, they're all Harry Potter.

1:06:49 Yeah. That's even more... The Transformers is lame as fuck. the day i did that but uh i'm super impressed with The Simpsons, and even more impressed with Harry Potter. Really? It did? Like, what makes you think that any of this, like, this stupid fake foot footprint that's in front of us here, what makes you think? No, it's the, I'll tell you what's hard.

1:09:40 body there's never been a trail cam photograph of them mean hunters set up Because it's the same camera work. But I wish it wasn't. I think they're seeing bears. I'm fascinated, too, though, about when I went to the Mothman thing. They're fucking their kids. Since the what? There's so many guys on death row, et cetera, et cetera, because of eyewitness.

1:12:32 What the fuck is wrong with me? That is a squirrel, Your Honor. Also, when you have memories of things, if your memories correspond with other people's memories, you'll adjust your memories to correspond to an iconic or archetypal type own troubles and i said man this might be a demonic area we got moth man up in this bitch And then this bridge collapsed.

1:14:33 there's the moth man. bro. No. So I want to take out other filmmakers. What was the monster show? Yeah. Well, that's one of the reasons why Les Stroud becomes interesting. Because Les Stroud has had two experiences. The guy he's hanging out with is a total Put a fucking mask on and got close up video footage You can see a staple. As if this thing's just hanging out.

1:16:59 It's an actual. There it is. Look how bad that is. Oh my God, look at that one. Look how it's coiffed, too. that. Well that. Obviously. He doesn't, so does he say that that's real? done some real shit and that doesn't get nearly the ratings that this hanging out with this fake Bigfoot guy does. You know? Well. Bigfoot hair. And then there was that lady,

1:19:31 But she's kind of ostracized in the Bigfoot community. So, all right, we're not going to agree on that. When you get out there and you truly, I mean, they lose planes in there. so i mean there that's the part that when I started going around because it exists in this very strange environment yeah you know i i i uh i totally agree that i i This is someone who was rebuilt

1:22:02 There's not a lot of, but this one is incredibly prevalent. Vancouver northern BC those are the areas where you have the BC Rockies those are the areas you how long has spoken language been around for? this one area were dated at about a,000 years old. It's entirely feasible that these animals could have survived another 30, 40, 50, who But it was a prehistoric bear that existed in the Pleistocene that was such a formidable predator, apparently, according to Dan Flores, that he thinks it impeded the progress of people from Asia to North America there was a huge

1:24:52 Look how big they were. Wow. Right. and he hunts bears, and he trades with First Nation people. Well, they taste good if they eat the right foods. That's where you go? Wow. And there's two theories about that. And she kept fighting him off, and he kept coming in. She didn't think we were a threat. the big male bear because it was just it was wasn't enough visibility wouldn't be ethical to do

1:28:33 joke. Wow. It's scary shit. There's they're all over the place like it's not uncommon on a day up there to see 18 bears fawns they wipe out more than 50 of all the baby moose baby deer and baby uh elk um a moose yeah And you know, and I said, because I mean, this is what I grew up with. with a truck? Dark, yeah. And the ag-gag laws, which are even more disgusting, which are these laws that are in place to keep you from taking video footage of any atrocities.

1:31:37 And they're like, whoa. They don't see it. Then it becomes war. And there's never any footage. You know, the fact that the, it was crazy, It's not going to be just politics. must be loving it you know it's funny it was but it's godfather three because barry was out Our society has become this crazy thing where we pay attention to whatever spectacles on the news.

1:35:32 Yeah. We're going to fucking take over. White men and mean ladies. Not only that, he may have played a part in the assassination attempt to Jack Ruby? And a lot of his story, apparently, is bullshit. And he may have a story about it That's that's a problem because they think there's a real story and one of the things that they're all depressed I think one of the things I'm gonna do I'm gonna make this story happen

1:38:08 but that's his history, when he says he got Eli Elvis, and Jimmy Hoffa's buried And they showed it. We can't hear him without the headset I want to tell that, and you're the best person to tell that. For hours at a time. Our family has actually made a difference and an impact in our country today. My brother thinks too much. I can't get his gig down.

1:40:56 I love you, too. He got it right in his ear This might as well be Bigfoot Dear magic man in the sky You're not living a simple, humble life, you fuck. This is Arsenio Hall got canceled. Are you really quitting? Paramount. After this I would start getting patted down Oh my god, you took a monitor and smashed it Jesus Christ That's a $3,000 monitor This is... Oh, my God.

1:43:34 How much did he charge you for the chair? But here's funny.'s funny this is hilarious i like how you kept your hat on the entire time no there you go i'm bald yeah but here's funny is So then, yeah, then Leno booked me like four days after. And I go, well... want to have your career you know don't do that you know and it's like yeah it's like i'm i'm a

1:45:41 No, no, no, go ahead. smart voice of like mocking a lot of the stupid shit that we saw in the world. it looks like I'm peeing fire there actually. And we talked about it. but someone said, who was on the show tonight? And I couldn't remember. Well, he was fucking the guy's girlfriend or whatever it was. What if the guy just does the right thing? yeah because because because i always that faux apology is really strange like for for nothing

1:49:10 Yeah. I don't know. instead of saying this is what i did this is what I did. This is what I did wrong. You know, I, I, I smoke all this Coke, you know, cause, uh, that's how I roll, baby. like that's really part of what this all was about and that's what the most recent uh blackmail uh that that is actually the most powerful thing, than they are with people fucking up,

1:52:22 I was on a week later. It was funny, you know. All right. I'd be so happy. that there And they had this huge, 10-foot-tall wandering gorilla. And one teenager ran him over one way and another teenager ran him over the other way. She saw Bigfoot. Yeah. the most compelling thing about it is that Jimmy Stewart the actor. She put it in her underpants. It's like, imagine what she smelled like after she got home.

1:56:36 no and then and then recently there's been a DNA study and it's not a Yeti it and it turns out that it may not be and it it was a different kind of Eurasian bear, some large bear. I was in the woods with these guys, and we're looking at trail cam footage. He buries the lead and he goes, this looks like a footprint. and not concentrating on the fact that he found an extinct animal.

1:58:44 So this was like huge news then. You know what I mean? And they keep looking and it never happens. You got to burk it up. I love that. how many of you here have had a Bigfoot encounter and they know the cameras there so they're all like If you can get someone to do that on camera, you'll win. And that was the first straw in what broke the camel's back to me that a lot of these stories are bullshit

2:02:01 It's so sad seeing Danny DeVito. in whatever the story is the fact there's a camera on them well i i believe on the other side of Right. Yeah. When guys come in, and women, they come in the green room and you're in their club, you're in their hometown, and there's a whole bunch of local guys and they're nice and stuff. Well, for me, the real problem is like green rooms before a show.

2:04:24 Well, you actually say, hey, man, step out. i'm not even kidding you like i i said oh that's great how old were you when you saw it and i'm Well, we all do. Thanks. I'm glad you like the show. But then after a while you're like. Yeah, for a lot of people it's like Factor people start talking about Fear Factor and you're polite yeah oh cool man thanks

2:05:31 for me they told me why I just find it. No, A lot of laughs. Yeah, think about that, man. But I started to like it And I was just like, oh, I hate this character. And so you went on stage. It was probably like 10 years ago, maybe longer. shit apparently the people weren't into that and so he's like all right give the people what they Tell them no. by the way i should say it's a really good candy bar

2:09:28 Oh. Just had a bad day. And I don't... We talked about suicide for 33 years. But I just say that because he fought. on the ground and that wasn't so There was a whole thing where this guy was doing this video and I even talked to him a disease. in text of why why that happened and why that happened in my opinion which is right his home life because you know susan's a wonderful gal wonderful gal and it's just sad.

2:14:20 hear what, did you hear what Rush Limbaugh said? Yeah. Oh my God, Right, right, right. I did a bunch of dates. sitting around talking and laughing, You know, no one's pursuing fulfillment. I would say, Bobcat's so jolly. And I beat them down. and people thinking someone's going to say you screwed up Never quit. You know, when I made the decision not to go on auditions, it was scary.

2:18:41 What am I doing? I just figured this out like 10 years ago, Oh, man. I mean, I come with baggage. lot of things are easier on some ways but then there's baggage yeah well And there's impulses. And if the process got, it was unpleasant. Oh, my God. And then then I actually loved it. We did a lot of directing, right? that drives me nuts he's a friend of mine

2:22:43 to quit But I was directing that show, and white commie central executives came down and asked me. This is exactly what you told me. in my opinion the greatest sketch comedy show of all time i don't think there's anything that most innovative and hilarious sketch comedy show ever. most offensive things about what's going on now. I mean, that's what you're seeing. I mean,

2:25:48 And you just see Dave's eyes go right down. act like he's crazy because oh yeah i think he's super sane and uh brilliant and really nice well It's ridiculous. I've never taken the leap. because this is the story No, but you know. Give it up. Give it up. Gary Johnson, tomorrow, presidential candidate, Gary Johnson, 9 a.m.