Joe Rogan Experience #806 — Dave Smith Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Dave Smith, president of the Kanye West fan club is here Thank you Because it's a fucked up story and I don't want to get it wrong. Like a nice guy who's making sandwiches. I just want to be clear on where I stand is bad let me start with horrible the worst thing ever kanye dick pics good yes i'll break bad i So was that early 80s? But this video is really up there. I mean, she's laughing about the details of the rape case and how she got the guy off.

2:39 polygraph and passed it. Because most people don't go looking for this stuff for stuff like what you're talking about. but it's sandwiched in between a whole bunch of nonsense and then you gotta like get that out of the way Well, I've heard conspiracies that involve me. It's perhaps possible, perhaps, that Laurel Canyon was all about CIA psyops and Jim Morrison and all these musical – musical?

5:24 Hypnosis to one of those watches Right. They want like Alex Jones says they want to kill five And I think they do want to control worked out perfectly and was. Am I top 500 million? What are they going to do with all those bodies? What are they going to do with six and a half billion bodies? What if the people that you kill were going to figure out a way to cure cancer or get us to Mars?

8:43 You need a bunch of people to get that. They need to be safe. why uh why you know is it that people are they need to find the information i think there is But the same people who are like, we live in a rape culture and we'll go after like in their support for brands you know forget about political parties political parties oftentimes to atheism. Nothing wrong with atheism. It's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying, God is, it's so universal on the left that it seems to me to be a trait that you

11:17 like Sam Harris. We're on team atheist. Not only that, we're also in where they live. We are where they live. So we got to protect that. There's a lot of that weird shit on our side as well. He was setting up. And he became a Catholic late in life. being 14 when he made all this shit just go bullshit. Like, yeah, Jesus Now it's like a couple thousand bucks.

15:21 to north america and down into mexico and it's really fucking cool when you find out that it's not that long ago. It's crazy. Yeah. Vietnam. We know that was bullshit. I get it. They were going to arm Cuban friendlies, and they were going to give them weapons to attack Guantanamo Bay. And, you know, they took care of him quickly. And if, you know, if a lie is what it took to get the geopolitical result that they wanted

18:34 like drone technology and stuff, you're flying a robot and shooting missiles out of a robot and Can we do this? That's what Hillary Clinton is, what Obama is, what Michelle Obama is, what Bill Clinton Let me tell you, the awesome person who's a lawyer is the most adamant, like, do not Yeah, exactly can't be right because then you get like these alt rooms. They get mad at you if you talk loud

20:26 He just goes so imagine we we used the drone campaign like imagine we we fought crime that way see a group of people gathered and then they know the dickhead's in there and Well, we just follow the metadata on your cell phones and wherever you happen to be, That's dark, too. blasting ACDC rolling through They probably let them have amphetamines. Well you we're all essentially like

23:05 because you're like, I've seen this bullshit six times now. you're you're dealing with something that you know a human being that gathers up this data in the war, served my country, did my country proud. Because, you know, there is also, that's another thing that's very, very downplayed, on your side you really have to really think, these are the people that are dealing with this issue. It's a part of their life. It affects their families, it affects their friends, their loved ones, all the people they serve with. The whole thing is, it's so hard to believe that they've been able to keep this going for so long. this war against terrorism is one of the most devious things because whether or not terrorism

25:58 this military budget you know i mean uh uh the you know people were liberals were all outraged And this is what we're going to be dealing with as long as we want to have an empire in the middle east right but now it's not it's not like These are all getting in. Did he give you the nice explanation about how he's going to do it? Sir, we're going to feel with the back of his hand, he had to go up to both sides of my dick. Did he give you the nice explanation about how he's going to do it?

27:18 I was trying to think of some gay stuff. yeah you're gonna play george michael music yeah it's um i don't know i mean but it's so think they could always hear, and if there's certain key things that you say that upset You know, a friend of mine worked at a bank, and he told me how they had a big problem with people checking on celebrities' accounts, checking on other people, other friends of theirs' accounts.

29:14 They're liars. They haven't shown themselves to be some people that are devoid of jealousy and pettiness and clear thought always. I was on a panel with him on a Fox News show. like how much J Edgar Hoover and what they did during the well And they really did. He was doing this in a time when like if it came out people would be just I mean you're ruined

32:14 That's true. But but like you said it's like who's to say they're cleaned up Well, you know, it's interesting to me. that's craziness so Dianne Feinstein So the CIA is spying on the people who oversee the CIA? He said this like a year and a half ago when he was still doing well. But I think this is one of the things that libertarians, at least the type of libertarian that I am, like that school of thought, it

35:08 So they're fucking each other over inside the tribe. like her and her team were bragging about how she had convinced obama to go ahead of her being a sociopath, I understand. What? Yeah, it's that's that's a bad way to go. It's a crazy way to go. You want to close in their ears and bombs are going off the background It's a nightmare. It's almost like, you know, we got one of ours in.

38:49 And like you said, give me three reasons dude, It's just always this. She's oddly transparent in her creepiness. So, you know, it comes out in this weird sort of robotic aikido move where she's a hundred million dollars from Muslim And it's all kind of in the name of charity, in the name of philanthropy. can make money off these projects. Saddam was gassing people and we liked him,

42:07 Wait, hold on. to pull off the really obvious Operation Northwoods type shit. And it's just too hard to hide shit. everybody else, keep everybody quiet, keep everybody scared. I just want to say already I was joking. If you don't, you're boring. You fucking weirdo. But that's like the thing where they say that about George Washington. Hey, man, somebody chopped the tree down.

45:20 Yeah. Yeah. follow it for a short amount of time and then within the 99% accuracy go back in Yeah. whoa george washington was a piece of shit oh allegedly i don't mean that allegedly know but uh we'll be doing some Thousands more years in a couple of seconds. We know this is how we all got here So if that's the case, how do you know that you're not already in it?

49:50 But something is going to be a god. there's no good reason for that. it so weird that people exist the whole thing is fucking madness well that's well that's i guess Like Mormonism where it's so dumb that it's kind of comforting. believing in. You're just, as long as you're believing. Right. Well, it exists in a really And it was very difficult to get people to just like, okay, you have to stay on the path of what you're trying to do.

52:48 Don't get kicked in the face. Now I have to decide whether or not I still want to compete. it's almost like you took away that simple belief of theirs now they have to you know this one guy little while like I don't know if she I like she needs some more time off cuz And the traps are all there, But everybody keeps going for the candy. And then Ray Mercer beats the living fuck out of him.

55:31 She looks like a destroyer. Like, I'm good enough to get by without all that focus. think there's something dangerous about being such an amazing grappler getting a couple knockouts like Holly Holm, she kind of goes in there with like, okay you have this ronda Rousey this fierce competitor which She was an MMA competitor for a couple of years before she got into the UFC where she was having these ridiculous head kick KOs.

58:04 Holly Holm bounces around that cage like a fucking kangaroo. so absorbed with this idea that when you're on top, you think fuck about the Vegas odds. It doesn't wrath. I mean, like, Jon Jones when he broke his shin. Yeah, but yeah, well, from going full circle then when he comes back and wins in the octagon. And that's just how it goes and we saw that in the rock hold bisping fight

1:00:21 It was a great example. You're like, man, Dillashaw's really light on his feet. my buddy, So the three of us do a podcast, Jay's got a special coming out, which is going to be just incredible. It's like one of those days. He's a great comedian. And it did almost seem kind of like Bisbing was a great fighter, a big name, He has a detached retina and he has oil in his eye.

1:02:29 That guy's born for this. This motherfucker went out and fought Anderson Silva like and but herbs like look doesn't matter like you gotta i'm not stopping you know you can't call And then, boom! So then Bisping has to get up and recover in a minute from getting KO'd. And then you saw in his face, he's like, what? still anderson silva so that victory gets that victory over the greatest of all time and then

1:04:37 there on the center line or something I mean that Uriah Faber was saying. bisman was a guy who the knock on him i guess was that he didn't have knockout power or whatever And when you fight like a technician, you don't swing wild, crazy-ass punches with everything on them, And boy, And you know, he's had like all sorts of fucking crazy injuries, back injuries, neck injuries,

1:06:23 I don't know if he ever fixed it. When you put your arm on him, he's not flexing. into one punch i mean he puts everything into his punches like i mean it's like coming at you and He was out cold when he hit the ground. And then Henderson blasts him again. I want to start by standing next to a guy who he hits. and then Henderson's airborne I would just say, hang on.

1:08:58 No, earlier than that It was Brock Lesnar's rematch with Frank Mir. It's been a long fucking longer than I would have thought. On the same card? Can that be made? It's a hard sell because Vitor just knocked out Henderson in the first round. The middleweight division is just completely up in the air now. own and in four years they might be And there'll be more divisions.

1:11:23 I really do. And they could go back and forth. wasn't even a move up. That was just like, let's not dehydrate yourself before that? Fine. if the weigh-in's an hour before the Another point could be to outlaw weight cutting entirely and to check people all throughout number is. That's what you weigh now. This guy, Andy Foster, who runs it, I think he runs a great organization.

1:14:41 He's like, this is all an artificially orchestrated event. They had weighed in at 10 o'clock in the morning. He looked like a dead man. Yeah, he's a big boy. Well, that whole two-fight event, the two fights, the final fights, This is ESPN writer wrote it. Holly was on her bike. and then choking him. especially like you said, It starts really fun in a home for the jab.

1:17:44 You can't find him with a counter and he wasn't in shape, He's just not in the kind of shape So I got tagged a couple times. I mean, people are talking to Nate about, because going into that fight like Conor's power was what a lot of people were talking about. I mean, you're not talking like Andre Ward and Joe Schilling, like decent strikers. Andre Ward, who is one of the best fucking boxers on the planet Earth,

1:19:50 Tough fucking dudes, man. It seems weird that he gets to do that. Not so much that Connor wanted to just run it back and I was like wow that's interesting it seems weird that he gets a ton of money right man I believe in the market I mean exposed meaning he's a human and he can lose. But he got exposed. Like Robbie Lawler. So, all right, what do you do?

1:21:50 But you've got to put him in against Nate again because that's the big money rematch. For now. there that's a lot but look what he looked like at the at the weigh-in so maybe he can I mean he and Nate just broke and he goes how about this yeah but here's the difference between the first eight minutes and the last three minutes the last brother and beat them you know usually when people beat them it's kind of like they really stick to a strategy you got to kind of take them down and and avoid

1:24:41 Yeah, you can't think that the guy who lost to Dos Anjos is showing up. Knockout power. and great chins He was champion of Strikeforce. that nate diaz is done because just you know that's how good josh thompson is yeah and at the And I think it's one of those things where styles make fights and, you know, kind of really got in people's heads by talking shit.

1:26:31 We're not playing around here. UFC lifts ban on reporter Ariel Helwani. also must mean that they worked out whatever the fuck it was see this is what they were saying they don't have to have, you don't have to let people in to your, your business, your private company to come and Or we're going to fire a bunch of people and you're going to ruin people's lives.

1:28:51 I think Ariel's a very good reporter. the dust settle. So the dust settled. to affect people's health and safety. It's right out that door and to the right-hand side. and I think he's very insightful that someone's covering up or he found out about corruption in government or he found out about a Now, when that big, cool announcement happened at UFC 199,

1:31:17 Like that was a real reaction by me. And they felt like him releasing that early ruined that for the people that read his article. They're like, look, if you fucking do this, you're going to ruin people's lives because you're going to get people fired. Because I mean, if everything we're saying, Yeah, and this is the most important part of it, folks.

1:33:08 They had a plan, and he got word of that and jumped the gun and put it out there. i wouldn't have had the same reaction when i saw the promo but come on man i'm not into cheesy oh my god, this is the fucking cherry on top No, I think you have every right to want to fire that person. reinstated, because now he's a hero. only doing his job, that's not necessarily

1:36:04 And he's a guy that is going you're like, he's my friend. why would you go publicly? commentating for another MMA Don't get me wrong. And we drink and eat food and talk shit. But honestly, watching it on TV might be the best seat in the house. You know, they start fighting over here and you're like, ah, now the octagon's blocking Why is he on the ground?

1:38:56 He's only done one 360 and that's a UFC 200. He blew his ACL out doing the jump. one dude I think I'm gonna see that we're just one hold up correct yeah Now we planted the seed in his head. We're going to make him feel it. It is UFC 100. I forgot that. Wow look how lean Frank Mir looked at the time. He looked great. in a row. Look at Joey Diaz Wow.

1:43:19 That's a long-ass time ago. He needs a People were trying to get confirmation on if he actually passed. Well, I first into the CBS thing. It was a good boxer. You know, he's a good boxer in the early days of MMA It was I remember when they got that fight on CBS, like MMA had never been on a big network like that before. Well, here was one of the problems.

1:46:00 It was a big problem Brian Stan's really good. Jimmy Smith's excellent. He calls things right. I's a real fan. He's a smart guy. He's easy to listen to. He calls things right. You just can't do that because they're not going to understand what the fuck's going on when the fight goes to the ground. What is he doing is someone had someone in a judge looked over and she goes what is he doing

1:48:16 People could die. See, because these guys don't have any power, the fighters. Yeah, I have. Because you don't even have a show if you don't have the show part of the show i had i had one ride to fly myself out to it i didn't get paid when you get these government regulatory bodies And he passed a couple tests, right? the WADA people say it's bullshit. The WADA people

1:50:53 Everybody called them. Fuck you. arguably even more disgusting vanderley silva ran away from a drug test okay not good definitely Right. That was in North Carolina. him like zips a up caught him he had a weapon yeah like what a lot of shady And psychologically, the idea of going to work every day where all the people you deal with are going to be lying to you and up to something and hate you.

1:54:23 for putting something into their body. or I don't know how you put it, Nothing. And one of the, it was a spokesman for the police union. So they, but arrests went down like 80%. the NYPD just wasn't doing what they do. That gathering of the millions of dollars right? That's fucking crazy. You can't do that man. You can't you can't I mean, imagine some of these people, man, who are literally working lower class jobs

1:57:24 street you have to pay money yeah i mean look i have i have a problem with the way government raises almost that i just i i harp on is just uh like okay who should we throw in a cage who is it morally Or I don't want to fund a... just feel like Gary Johnson has this way of selling the libertarianism as this And you're like, well, I just think overall this is an inefficient way to get cotton.

2:00:24 Republican like he's a good bridge to This is wrong. Libertarian. just uh to me it's it's a humble understanding of what existence is that we don't really know which is just the idea that like people like that run as independents that get a little bit of momentum at any point say, it's like, But I wonder how much time it has left. How come you can't have 100 different systems and ideas?

2:04:30 That's right. and have this toast. and the media that's not even like that big of a deal. That's my favorite. I don't know. like that. I mean, come on, man. You're telling different like really smart interesting they're the only two people that represents two completely new paradigms. You have Bernie, who is this weird socialist-type character, Democratic socialist character.

2:08:14 trump found a way to speak over the media and get the media to keep him in their 24-hour news cycle Campaigning is it's all mapped out in his books where he talks about this larger-than-life from the inside, where he's like, I'm just talking like a dude. And I just, I want to let you know, there's no problems there. And this was out there. He couldn't not bring that up.

2:10:42 Yeah, it was very bizarre. Abe Lincoln's crazy. Yeah, so then he wins Right. And he's got to get into the polls. the impression there's an opportunity to capitalize on it. Well, I think the left side, The last time a third party really made any noise It's just, it's one of those things to me like i don't know you know how much longer president trump might do it maybe maybe but if

2:14:35 I think there's a lot of indicators that were in the, in the crash process. saying that men today it really does oh it's insanity it makes me, it's so fucking stupid that you're supposed to protect people. The trigger hit me. past happen? And then it seems to be a very convenient thing where, you know, like the feminists or the social justice warriors are like policing rape jokes in the comedy community

2:17:12 Today that is like what we were talking about when people are young when you can send them to war you're hanging around with are who are getting mad at white people for wearing dreadlocks. Right. She's a liberal. both sides. But boy, there's a whole lot of noise too. And it's a lot of arguing, a lot of yelling Like, the gender pronoun thing is so fucking bananas.

2:19:54 name your dog gender neutral names because your dog can't decide like this is a real debate their entire lives. They're people who go to college and then just stay in college and they, Everybody is willing to call you that yeah, this isn't But now you start bringing in the forceful arm of government to actually go fuck over a business owner who's trying to provide jobs and, you know, feed his kids.

2:22:16 Thaddeus Russell, who's brilliant, brilliant guy. And we were talking about how incredible it is that they find a way to justify two people hooking up with text messages with a girl saying, come on over, bring condoms. Exactly. You're always like, what if there's a woman in the crowd who's been triggered? are the rapists for that rape victim Did you ever see the Law and Order episode?

2:23:57 No. everyone just laughs at the top of the anyway and then uh and then by the end then she gets raped You're going to use that as a negotiation tactic. someone's trying to hide from the law, Wow, so noble. and what gets done and the pollution of the environment. That's all it's doing. Yeah. turned on and you're fucked. and keep fucking eventually a genius will pop out who will move this thing forward a little bit and

2:27:41 electric cars in a hyperloop that gets you to San Francisco in three minutes minutes there's some weird shit happening and it's all happening like exponentially all I mean, it's amazing. How about Nancy Grace? There's a team of women and that did something terrible that were alleged to have done something terrible and she was And then she's even in acknowledging it

2:30:10 Well, not only that. And that's disturbing as fuck, man. these guys and then justifying it after it's been proven that it was incorrect well she did to her Those are someone's babies. tactics right that's one of the big things they do is tell you to get away from your parents get They're dull. Like you had a quote that I really liked What is it? Yeah,

2:33:28 2013. Even their Like, are you kidding me? You remember when the fucking Vermont guy screamed? She's on your team. You just had your first grandkid. Yeah, I mean, I don't even think it's that. I think it's, I mean, who knows? You know, I'm not in their head, You want to just like get back at your husband for getting his dick sucked in 1991 or whatever the fuck it was? Yeah.

2:35:12 It just doesn't make any sense to me. How did she get hit in the head? that year, she passed out, presumably It's you falling down and getting hit in the head with the earth. It's not just the seizures. How often every day how many people a lot? Oh, oh, we can't have people run it. So let's have a comprehend because we're just monkeys is this what you brains you bring me into

2:38:11 The Blacks? Guiding it at least to a certain point and I think it's gonna make life a lot better It'll start off with you'll be able to store Well, I know that your joints are bothering you, Mr. Wilson. Whoa, hold on. Okay, what am I now? Because now I'm a brain inside a new body? where like our sexual desires are taken care of oh yeah we don't need i mean yeah that's that'll

2:40:53 and show up at the right place and you know you get the right spot where there's a table service Well, if everybody just has to, you know, just download the fuck program, It's like, oh, that's easy. there's no thrill there. what's his name? That's why it's like this. almost like, imagine you've already lived through all those God mode games. like obviously we don't know exactly where this is going to go.

2:43:15 Everyone's going to have a gun if they want to have a gun. beach ball at a concert. They just something where government, it He does not take hormones, but he identifies as a woman. He wants to use the woman's room Yep. where you were supposed to say that she looks good. 60-year-old dudes in dresses almost never look really good These babies are here to run the country like whoa. I mean this is this is literally what we're talking about

2:46:32 Okay. So if Hillary all of a sudden got a boob job, everybody would be like, what the fuck is He'll scare the shit out of her. Yeah. have to say that that's a girl why is gender such an important point to you like what what is it I don't know what the number is, I think in a way it's probably a good thing. that are just happier being a woman What is crazy? You know what's crazy?

2:49:56 other people so you attack them for having a lack of a strong stance and these things that you have want people to use a third bathroom here's what you do get the people that support that to fund it But it's like, you're going to force someone who believes abortion is murder to fund a For sure. I mean, look, as far as, Parent Hoard doesn't just provide abortions.

2:51:44 Our birth control is a vacuum.'s it that's all we have it might greatly cut down on the number of abortions that are needed. Yeah, I'm gonna have a handcrafted hot dog and even just even just enjoying nature Like, I like the outdoors. what are you, I love that. reality that we're in a convertible spaceship you know, we think we know something and He's open-minded.

2:55:01 That's why I like identifying as agnostic. It's a hallucination. Yeah. you get suicidal, Yeah. oh i like it i enjoy it i would find it infant like what like if you look at trump and bernie in the past oh well for for us, I mean, for the libertarian movement, kind of a weird group if you get together isn't it just weird to be in a group i mean aren't groups weird but that's why i don't you know i wouldn't be comfortable almost identifying with any other

2:58:36 forced to pick cotton. People so you had to have a representative like now I'm really hoping just the Kimball Slice thing come see your stand up We're actually we're having a festival. Brian Redband is doing like a death squad show of Follow me on Twitter at Comic Dave Smith. Absolutely.