Joe Rogan Experience #829 — Wayne Federman Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Yes! Wayne Fetterman, how are you, sir? Well, and what number podcast is this? Great. Not standard. And I thought it was you because when you go to it- That's the scariest part. Yeah. So your password... at Wayne Fetterman. I didn't know it was going to get this intense. Am I allowed to do that or just to answer? You don't want that. Anyway. I think that's originally what I had.

3:05 I don't remember the number. It wasn't even me. I think every seven years you're a new person. MySpace is dead. Do you use it? No. kids as teenagers reading it in the future. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. I think they I don't think anyone's on there. I think it's a dead zone. You just read nonfiction? No. Of the coyote. Like a dog is exactly, like, you know, a dog can breed with dogs.

5:59 settlers called them prairie wolves when they first encountered them. Let's examine this. they called it coyote because because they had the Spanish pronunciation And you still have 420 more pages That's a state. It's their own country. I feel like that. Give it back? Yeah. Doom, doom, doom, doom. I'll think of it. Nope, that's ours. Who? I'm just talking about the last two states that became.

9:28 right? Well, that's the other thing. hanging off their car? True. Yes. Do you know the six flags? It's a republic. There's people that always talk about seceding is the word they use. Right. Mexico? Yeah, it's part of the Louisiana Purchase, right? It is kind of cool, right? Like, if you think about it, you're like at this amusement park, you're like, oh, that's the French part, that's the Confederate part, that's the...

11:49 Yeah. Oh, that's ugly. Yeah, they're from Florida. Because I know Tom Petty's from Gainesville. From the time I was 11 until I was 13. That's crazy. That's insane. I didn't watch that show that often. The Leonard Skinner thing is a perfect example. Yeah, that was their logo. Very close. cultural right situation yeah they was it's about the culture of the south it's about the culture

14:53 So we went through this securitist route to this coyote thing. The first time I moved to California No, I was in New Rochelle. They're everywhere. It's like Jews. No, I'd get in trouble. Nonfiction. I had to. That's how I get my fiction. Because they can go so much more in depth. Okay. How does that work? It could be. Speaking of Star Wars, I just stumped a Star Wars nut.

18:33 And because Maybe $10,000. I've seen him all, the thing, he had a shirt. That is an iconic theme. Wow. But you were probably the perfect age to see Star Wars as a kid. only lived there until i was six i spent my seventh birthday in a car on the way to san francisco Yeah. No. No. in the neighborhood, which is not good for you. Yeah. I feel like that's a pretty important thing in life.

21:33 You're not implying you're not a confident guy. Is that sensitive? Oh, my God. What kid in high school did? Right. Yeah. When you took, you said you did take the GNC. What's the reaction? How many hours do you sleep? You don't work out? Is that what you do? Like this? Well, most of the weight lifting that I do is with kettlebells. Well, they're right there.

24:34 I have more workout questions. You want to do it? No. Okay. No, I'm over right now. You say it. We can pull the plug right now. You want to do it? We'll just go. Yeah. All right. Well, that's It's horrible. Oh, God. He's awful. pulled the string, It was so boring. I didn't realize it was Frank Mueller that was one of the best guys at reading it. Yeah, that's my...

27:21 Joe Hill. I was like, ponytails. You don't remember the song Joe Hill and about the worker who died? Yeah, that is him. Upstate New York. Yeah, okay. Or especially like the way it's spelled you like look at the way something spelled you like that can't be right Do you like him? I think there's lessons. And then Jimi Hendrix? Yeah, that's not real. That's the real one. See up on the screen?

30:37 That's 100% real. part isn't correct what part what is it it's kind of it's a very mean minute thing but i'm like a And that was Am I correct? The three blacks moved to the back. That's not that long ago. Late 50s, right? That's fascinating. They might have done that after the fact, right? I think this is the bus. That's it up above it. like what not that long ago not that long ago i know that's not that long ago. Not that long ago.

34:59 That's half a hundred years. 150 years. 1865? The minor 49ers, yeah. They got stuck in the mountain. Yeah. Sierra Nevada. So it's essentially almost exactly 200 years ago. stuff because there's some buildings from the 1800s in a lot of spots. They're not mutually exclusive, Wayne Fetterman. Fourth of July is my favorite holiday, by the way. Do you go to Disneyland and stay to the very end?

38:08 I don't know if patriot is the word, but I would say I'm very appreciative of being lucky I go, hmm. Wow. So that's your... Most of them. Were they passed down to you? Oh, yeah. Yeah, same thing. And one of them that was probably not maybe the most impressive, but the most put things into perspective. seen in my life. And the accomplishment the line, it's not quite as breathtaking as that.

41:33 There it is. Yeah, hair. I really think that. You do? If not the, right? brick and mortar is gone. Yeah. Oh, the... Just the software? You can't just go and like, you can go and like this laptop. Woo! They don't have anything. They're like Century City. Oh, okay. What's that called? Yeah, but it's just a little card to download it. And they have touchscreen.

45:49 Are you brand loyal? same motherboard, everything works together, everything works seamlessly. No, no, no. Oh, I know all about this. Because there's a book about it now It's crazy what they did. But they were talking about the developmental process. like laying around and stuff. super computer geeked out wizards That was built at the NSA? I thought that was just about eavesdropping.

49:26 states and that's how they shut down they grinded that centrifuge they yes they undermine the documentary either. I watched about 40 minutes Love them. At the beginning, I was like, I didn't know. What is that? Okay, you know what happened. I'm a New Yorker, the thing. I trust you. Wow. It is so great. Mind-blowing. he has a bizarre sexual drive. But unfortunately for him, he's in this bullshit world where you have to pretend you're something

53:09 It's not just that. I think there's also the issue that we want someone who is a leader who we have very unrealistic expectations of them as human beings. those guys are always freaks Bill Clinton But you see the list of sexual scandals and he was involved and it's like oh my god I see where you went with that. Right? Did this just happen? He's the husband of... Huma.

55:49 Oh, really? And not I don't love them all, but I really like the genre. And then... Well, the same guys who... where someone would say, cigarettes have been shown to cause cancer. Were bad for you the same exact guys not the same tactics, but the same human beings. Well, that was actually when the lawsuits were going on. It's great. Yeah, it is. He was John Stewart's roommate.

58:02 He did some speeches before the first scandal. Yeah, he's righteous. You know what I mean when someone's doing a remote interview just alone and he kind of has his look like i'm What's interesting to me is that we've sort of crossed the divide with donald trump Someone tried to get some traction I don't watch a lot of porn, but tell me about it. Pow, pow.

1:00:53 Right. And I think he hired that guy. got the nomination now that he's got the nomination nomination secure now you go after hillary and I don't know. I'm like, just what's today? Gary Johnson is the... He's gonna be on He was great. Great. He's great. He's a good And the more he talks and the more he This is a stupid attitude. And also the idea that

1:04:24 person who thinks it's great. I think the DNC Everybody is. Who thinks it's great? Find me the person who thinks it's great. Never had a chance. Yeah. He didn't really make her levitate, man. talking about the fighter yeah okay okay because i just again i you know so much more about this and all of a sudden he gets the guy's foot. Is that a style? I don't know what point.

1:06:46 I got him with the round kick. See, this is them fighting right now, right? I get it. have their hands down? Well, I don't feel like They're both very similar in their style. Mostly karate students. and perform those techniques very quickly Okay. About that stuff. He's a world to learn those things, if you have the time That's the worst injury I've ever seen.

1:09:50 He charged in, tried to shoot for a takedown, and Paige caught him with a knee. He just jumped up and hit him with a knee. I mean, I'm not kidding. Well, I saw also your buddy. Have you ever done that? A friend of mine threw a kick, and I threw a kick at the same time, and his heel hit my fibula. See, he cracked it with one kick that he threw earlier.

1:11:34 It's very unusual to see someone's leg snap like that. what the difference is, is where Just didn't seem possible. Yeah, look at there. You can see it Yeah, I mean, it bothers me. She was freaking out because she was bleeding. broken nose swollen eyes cuts all over their face head kick knockouts arms broken snapped legs Like, it doesn't bother me. That's your fucking brain.

1:14:00 You can see how he's doing. Is that what they put in there? Yeah. worried about. I'd be worried about the actual physiological scar now. They pulled his get used to it you're used to getting hurt guys get used to getting knocked out guys get used to I got TKO'd. Well, I was already on my way out. Did you have a nickname? No, you go the other way. MMA thing.

1:16:17 Oh, I thought they kissed each other. Is that the one? and then the other guy kissed him back, and then they kind of left. I don't remember the guy's name, but the guy kissed him on the lips, Boom. It's a spectacle of, look at him, he's like, what the fuck, man? I fucking hit him. I now remember the guy kissed and the other guy kissed. Might have been a K-1 bout.

1:18:21 A lot of times guys don't look at him. Fedor Emelianenko. When did he fight? These guys going to kiss too? That's not. If you get anxious, you get anxious about it. It's already happening. He's a fucking savage. Crow Cop's looking at him, and he's not budging. Yeah, I want to see that. Just as a fellow comedian, I'm just saying you've got to be the only comedian that knows all these guys' names.

1:21:23 Well, I don't know a lot of sports. Of course. Boom! No, no, no, no Staredowns I wouldn't give a fuck Because it's boiled down? Did you come up with that? All right. Matches. I'm like, I can't support this kind of fucking pussy behavior. I agree with everything. It's an interesting sport in that you know, it's there's some pretty complex strategy going on. There's a lot of move now

1:24:59 I assume you talk about that a lot on this podcast or no? Yeah, but it was the early days of the UFC where people didn't accept the UFC. Oh, yeah. Oh, he is? He was 175 and he won the yeah welterweight in boxing is 147 welterweight in mma is 170 yeah so those guys are just bigger What's the smallest? I like the fact there's a lot of weight classes How long before, from the weigh-in to the fight, do they have to put on weight? It used to be 24 hours, but now it's quite a bit more because now they usually let them start early in the morning,

1:27:48 And then the weigh-in, they get on the scale. It's really kind of foolish. Who's this angry Fetterman character? Has anyone failed weigh-ins? All the time. And he was supposed to be fighting Justin Scoggins. And Scoggins was supposed to get down to 125. Well, women's 115 is not even that small. At least you have some. I think that is wheat. they roll it up, and they feed it to

1:30:31 for barnyard animals. It's the So would you rather be, again, let's go back to your question that you posed. Right, heavyweight. Cruiserweight. Come on. heavyweight. I'm writing off. Cruiser weight. Because we don't have a super heavyweight division. to be like fat. You made a fat gesture. I've seen him. Huge. Yeah. No, he's alive. Supposed to be really good at cooking pork chops.

1:32:46 Did you think you were winning at the time? One of the problems was that I was- I might have been 22 at the time or maybe a month or two before I turned 22, and that's when I decided I was done. Even in its best case scenario. And so I started boxing. You're getting punched in the face. Don't get hit as much. coach, who was, this is what happened. Wait a minute, you flyered?

1:35:22 That's a New York thing. Put up flyers. that jazz black four-time massachusetts state taekwondo champion and won the u. black belt and all that jazz. Four-time Massachusetts State Taekwondo champion and won the U.S. Open and all these different Yeah. Now you're starting to hurt me. from when I was a kid. because Bobby dropped the ball. So anyway, I went from teaching.

1:37:34 so i love it so when i started learning from him he's a great coach and teaching me boxing Like without learning how to throw punches, no i'm very happy with everything turned the way everything no of course of course but i'm just I would have realized then. And I kind of caught the wave. It was entirely the philosophy as a style. Some people are just like, I'll never use a Mac.

1:40:31 When I started really getting involved in boxing— It was a waste. and he beat me up too. I'm just talking about, like, emotionally. There was guys that were pro boxers that I knocked out in the gym. you want to stick to only that. Because a lot of times, but then if you want to expand your act, you have to try out new stuff, But I think there's also other things in life.

1:43:10 I'm not good at it. Today I did kickboxing. I'm going to guess. I don't even know what you're talking about. I don't know. It requires a lot of mental toughness. 104 degrees. Do you do it any? This is- If this is too personal, just say? Yeah, same thing. Okay. How hot is it? That's where I did it. 104 degrees. No, go ahead. Yeah. Does it smell good?

1:44:49 Well, here's the hardest part. But it will never be easy. Is there a bell? It's a comedian? Okay, all right. And if I continue to do it, I'll get better at it. I like you. Yeah. We do it naked? Well, play is the word, but it's... About half. We need dueling pianos. They get fucked If you knew how the improv started Some fucking people made a piano, and they put it on a stage, and then somebody put a microphone there, and the comics were constantly annoyed by that fucking piano.

1:48:05 Jesus Christ. Look at it. It's right there, pissing me off. there's me at the improv being annoyed by the piano. Look at it. Oh, wait. I look fat in that picture. And YouTube has been phenomenal for that. hitting on me no how old are you in that picture how long ago is that picture that is 19 i mean Let's fucking run with it. I just did the in my life

1:50:23 through the years. So 84, 88. Well, it was... A little over one. Good move. There's a gambling arena in Florida? No. Yeah, they have like a Hi-Li stick. It's one of the few sports in the world where you can't be left-handed and play. take that moniker away? They made them. Let's watch some of this. Huh. takes down the high line. wrong about this. Again, I've been wrong about a lot of

1:53:50 be the easiest of all the sports Oh, you're right. Mm. But anyway, so the only reason I'm bringing it, of course, I'm sure, I'm sure at least As opposed to a horse, it might be a little more difficult. You're nailing it. everything in the stand. And then you guys are down in the arena? That was Florida. Yeah. Wayne and I, we should tell everybody, we met on the set of a pilot that never happened.

1:56:30 Do you remember they did an episode of your television show? And I remember something you said to me, Joe Rogan. Is that what I said? Yeah. Yes, I do. I mean, even guys that I didn't necessarily get along with that well, like Andy Dick. was so good it was just that was just a super fortunate place to be but there's been good Did you think you were going to get canceled?

1:58:26 and did a season the same time wasn't the same without Phil, for sure. Do you remember the single guy actually I don Oh, Jonathan Silverman. Oh, yes. sort of Thursday night fuck you were. in space. We did a space episode. Yeah, I guested on... What was the difference between being on the show, cast regular, and guest starring? wasn't as good, wasn't as funny, you know.

2:01:31 almost like the secret producer of that show. Because they gave him, the writers were so smart Yeah, yeah. on a I think it's holding on. His alimony and child support are off the charts because it was based on the money that he was making during news radio. established a lifestyle. Wait, why are you saying doctor? I'm fine. go definitely I feel like I'm

2:04:32 Oh. We can. Amazon. See, DMT is broken down in your gut by something called monoamine oxidase. No, it's an MAO inhibitor. A year ago? Yeah. similar they are in in their reaction especially at high doses to DMT and in And DMT is human neurochemistry. When you smoke the DMT, how many times have you done it? What? It helps me. Your brain knows how to bring it back to baseline very quickly.

2:08:32 so I was pretty gonzo for about an hour and a half or so, Just Wayne. Would you? I don't have any interest in even cocaine. Okay, okay. That's not a barbiturate, though. What did it say? No, that's not what it's saying. or antidepressant or No matter what the scenario. I wouldn't use the word. Really? Never. I like a glass of wine. Yeah, I got some paleo wine.

2:12:12 I go like a couple of glasses is nice. That's what I just meant. Sure. I take chances. I go out on a limb. Yes. But the next day, I couldn't read. right? Right. Well, after it's over, that shit crashes and your body's depleted. You feel like And I've heard from some people that, oh, if you get the pure stuff, it doesn't do it. There's zero physical price you pay for DMT.

2:15:04 I mean, again, I'm a drug experimenter i know everyone says that it's like a euphemism for i'm a drug No. you people that want to be a shaman boy who knows who knows what you're gonna I would definitely do ayahuasca. So it happens instantaneously. Hit it again. It's pretty intense. with any really intense breakthrough psychedelic That might be the worst

2:18:39 Big Macs. What if I said- What if I got our cheeseburger from the counter, brought it home, and then, because what I did, I kind vegetable-only diet for like a vinaigrette? Avoid toxins. I don't know. I was just trying to have a good time. Dissolving of reality. But what I'm saying, if you want something that's commensurate with a DMT experience, you could depending upon the can you eat it how did you eat how do you eat them the mushrooms you

2:21:18 Like, literally, if we go on the internet right now and put up the taste of mushrooms, No one's ever- You're a little bit sensitive. I branded it. So, I can't believe, because everyone I've ever spoken to, with the exception of a guy They just taste, they kind of taste like cardboard or something, or plasticky. I mean, it's not something I would look forward to.

2:22:46 I do think you're wrong about that. Okay. There's a fermented- Supposed to be fucking awful. a lot of shitty what you would consider shitty food i think you're overreacting to it you think What is bad food? Yeah. Okay, forget about the rotten stuff. Again, exaggerated. Yeah, that's on there. Converts to fat. It goes all over. That way you can't consensus. Right. No, no. Believe me. You're not the only one that is ass right some people goes goes right to their ass yeah i mean there's no uh consensus right

2:27:10 Chinese food is delicious. Yeah. Probably. I think so. That more disciplined than I am. Maybe. Yeah. No one can tell us what to do. We can decide when to work and when not to work. exclusive i think you can be disciplined but still have the same sort of comedic instincts I admire your discipline. I know. They've been doing the same jokes for 20 years.

2:29:54 But I think, I know you're blaming, some of it is obviously discipline and the, but I think it goes back to what we said earlier about the risk of doing new material. I think that's why Eddie Murphy doesn't do stand-up, by the way. You know, he's been caught a few times. But that happened... Dragons. It's about dragons. Shot on an iPhone. Ian's excellent at everything.

2:31:42 Sort of. It's very hard to get them. I don't think it's a thing. And I just really try to get him to do that because he's always tired. It's an interesting little low-budget movie. Yeah, but I guarantee you, you could get a video camera from... No, I meant like something nice. which is what a lot of people like about film, about doing movies with films,

2:33:45 Did you ever see Presley perform? Are you talking about the film from 1970? What was really crazy was watching women react to him. And there's a million different stars. I mean, how many of them there were? Right, but how many of them we're talking about? Well, I mean, it's officially known as the first talkie. Well, he sang. Okay, it's not like- We're still only talking about like 20 people.

2:36:18 I mean, television had only been around for a few decades in the 1950s. No question. Okay. Is that Malcolm Gladwell? So Elvis is the opposite of the 10,000 hours. The girl liked it. around for a long time and then finally breaking through. He was in a rock band before he became Billy Joel. Plus, he was also the first guy They would give them certain drugs, but he was one of the first guys that really got into, like, pills.

2:39:34 I know you were talking about First of all, he's in a white suit, and then by the end, he's just in white underwear. No. They skip it. Escape from reality. I'm just. The whole opera part. No one on stage. You like that song, right? Yeah, but I would imagine they would But you would think that they would Huh. Yeah. Because I can. All right. This even go to concerts? No, very rarely now. Because I can...

2:42:42 You don't? You don't even watch. Well, first of all, I'm afraid to talk about it because I'm afraid to talk. This is not my joke, He's not doing it on the Tonight Show. All of a sudden, you're not supposed to make fun of something that's obviously ridiculous. Sure, people get upset, yeah. Jeff Dye was the comedian. comedian, It's pretty fucking awkward

2:44:54 that. His argument was, or her argument, whatever you want to call it, well, I've always been And then there's a bunch of things about him that's preposterous. You're not supposed to make fun of it because it's a thing about gender. I mean, that's what the fuck he is, right? preposterous this is a preposterous person this is not a standard subject of transsexuals who

2:47:12 And then immediately after the attention that he got from that, he gets massive surgery and changes his name to Caitlin. Not an edgy act. Well, you know my act. Not edgy at all. Not an edgy act. I work with them. Yeah, I did. And patently the most ridiculous people in all of show business. Like, Like, the more unhinged. which is this thing about punching down.

2:49:42 but you're allowed to make fun of things, right? And yeah, well, there's some punching down that's really fucking mean. Some people, they nail it. decide that there's something off limits and then then the way they reinforce that, they gang up on people like bullies. And he was also not even supposed to be on stage, like someone who took the opportunity to be sanctimonious and obviously nothing's funny about rape this is like someone who took the opportunity to be

2:51:40 the line she's a fucking heckler Look, you'll enjoy the show or don't enjoy going to enforce it on these people in the middle of a comedy show you can't do that this is a fucking wonderful opportunity to be recreationally outraged. That now comedians can't hear. It depends on whether or not you have a point, right? It might not be correct. question is there anything you've done in your act through the years and you've released many

2:54:43 But just more about tightening and making the bit better. I'm saying looking back, would you go, I meant just more as an evolution, as someone who's always, as you said earlier, learning and trying new things. It's hard, but it's critical because that watching and listening to yourself. That is hard. Or the next day on the car on the way to the show again, I'll listen to it.

2:56:31 And, you know, sitting down there listening to yourself. And then going and watching it. We did it. Let's wrap this up. Many. Yeah? Many. Come on up to the No. Just leave it there. Tried to get money from you, right? For allowing me on your show. At least five. How could you? Thank you. No. I'm going to say Noel Redding, Mitch Mitchell, and then Jim Hendricks.

2:59:29 All right.