Joe Rogan Experience #833 — Brian Redban Transcript

Transcript

0:00 We're at our screens. Let's fucking talk like people, man. Let's do this. You know how you go from one person's page, you see someone comment something funny. Prove we die. And in that space, I'm there too? Thunk. these compilations of her you know look she's doing hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and other than I think it's kind of cool that there's going to be a first chick that's a president.

3:53 Like there was the, oh, Blade. Well, he was a day walker because he was half human. I'm saying people that get in a conflict with her wind up dead as fuck. people are doing and the last guy seems to be like a robbery attempt or something like that Look at the guy that climbed Trump Tower. Oh, my God. Like it's just like, I want to give a message. For a while, I didn't think the police were going to be able to do anything.

6:35 Yeah, I know. crates or air conditioning things. But these kind of people are the people that hang out in Washington, D.C. and stuff. How far is that? of lobbyists that It's right next to Arlington Cemetery. I mean, it's just literally really across the river. It's close as fuck. connected to the Clintons that just wound up getting whacked. Did you see all the crime that's been going on in the Olympics?

9:28 happening like people just coming up and trying to steal people's like cell disenfranchised and poor that was something that byron bowers had talked about in the podcast Jesus Christ. You don't want to run shit. You don't want to run shit. You know, like Kennedy. Like everything was like a 90s sitcom. A lot of people enjoyed it. And he was just tricking us.

13:50 Looking at all the hotel rooms where the sinks are falling through the counters and how the water, I don't know if you saw the water today, is green because they have an algae problem or something like that. and like weeds and stuff i mean this is these things apart this is old that's 1984 olympics just it looks trash there's That looks fun as fuck.

15:15 Yeah. Probably, right? This one right here is not even eight years old from China. So they had the site of the Olympics in Sarajevo, Were you? The more you get these super successful guys that can, you know. Yeah. when I was back in the day, If that's what he's doing with it, he became this huge swimming star because think about how many swimming stars i've been

18:31 here's how I feel about sports. And then once we got one of those, that's it. yeah man that's right i forgot about that guy, so he was the first of the superstar Michael Phelps type swimmer dudes. I wonder if being in water more than the average person is better or worse for your skin, for everything. Like it's with it i get in my eyes it fucking stings i don't know why like when i go to uh the uh the beach if

21:00 Look at his body. Jamie I mean Oh, hey, man. chubby they're like a i don't know they don't really seem muscular they kind of seem sexy well um what bodyweight squats, three sets of 25. Sprints with high intensity. You got to be, you have to have like an insanely powerful mind to be able to do something that everybody can do, like swim, and do it faster than anybody ever.

24:03 Oh, this is like some compilation with a talking head person. ADHD for today's millennials started with natural born killers. Michael Phelps does not give a fuck Downtown. Who else is that intense? Speaking of weed, did you hear about the DEA this morning? Common sense. No common sense here, right? in reducing tumors. It can, it definitely helps people with anxiety. There's a, there's a lot of

27:04 there that they don't know the drug's chemistry is not known or reproducible? Or they can't make two of the same, maybe. I also think it's 12 hours to the Pentagon. so you know it's real um we'll scroll down one more the one that says how many different old but it was a fucking really interesting story but unless it was happening that week It's not debatable.

30:25 old man so so old back then they didn't know anything back then right it's also like two Yeah, no. you know we started off with 3g or whatever like 2g and stuff like that and now i think there's I was thinking maybe they should make a new phone called the Throwback for people like Ari. because there's so many different ways to communicate and you can communicate through

32:59 That's what I'm thinking. alarm clock going off every two minutes, you know? Yeah. And it's not, it doesn't give you a chance You're like, ah! Look at that! Ah! You going, ah, look at that, ah. You're gonna be They had to keep it the same It's a very good point. It's a very good point. So what they're saying is they're trying to classify it as a drug.

36:17 and it's free and it's growing, what studies have been done that have absolutely been proven in a new modern form of the most There's a ton of studies that have shown positive benefits. It's not evidence of whether it should be legal. Are they all crazy? We have friends that have kids that have autism. These people are like living in an episode of Hawaii Five-0.

39:43 They benefit from stopping it. with fucking machine guns stop you from eating a chocolate cake and smoking a cigarette? Totally irrelevant. these little various mental diseases, but it's always that number. This is a real problem with the way they present the data because it's just like you coming up to me or to Jamie and you saying that you've got new rules.

42:30 that's not bad like you can't do that you don't have any evidence that it's bad there should be you don't use condoms, you do a lot of shit. a dog? but it was about fat shaming She wants to hold her down. She wants a mounter. She wants to Elber her whole piece, she wants to beat her ass. Okay, this is what she wants to do to Ronda Rousey. She wants to hold her down.

44:43 They want to beat the other person's ass and they want to choke him out. What's her face look like? she said something about Ronda Rousey having fat arms. And you see Juliana Payne, you see how pretty she is? She's tough. Beautiful woman who has big arms she'll fucking throw you on your head with those big arms And this is, this is even more interesting because it's, you know, there was no cell

46:49 Like, whatever happened to that girl? And she was a freak. She was too big for me, man. an hour and a half drive yeah I've been with thinking like Like how big does the woman have to be? How big would the man have to be for... We were thinking like 190 pound untrained man. And then it got to Cyborg versus Ray Lewis. And they had Cyborg get down to 140

49:52 She's crying. problem is here's one of the problems is there's specific weight classes right there's like 155 That's like contrary to everything that martial arts is supposed to be about. but you're only that size for like an hour you think if they were like you're only allowed to fight every three years but we're paying you when I get to walk up to someone

52:26 I remember clearly saying it to Misha Tate. i don't know if the title of champion is the best way to to do that i mean we all we're all obsessed tomorrow, if there's a pay-per-view they were doing tomorrow, I think that's the same thing with But what do you really want to see? Tyron Woodley beats Robbie Lawler. Is he better? game show stuff like this.

55:36 You have to protect this banana. I think as a fight, And then you need competition still of some kind. but maybe a quarterly tournament or like a season of some kind so there's something did you ever see what um um Really interesting as an idea, like as a combat sport idea. valid and you have a tournament where they're all going to duke it out and there's going to be some

57:51 Because when a fighter loses, it's not just about losing that fight. thousand dollars bro i know you're only getting paid 20 grand and so you do that and some dude And he went to jail for it, too, because he was betting. He was making bets on things that he knew from inside information, it looks to say that there is some weight, Oh, yeah, that fucking little bit of water in there, huh?

59:43 and all the scumbag shit other referees were doing. I know friends who use actual, real, they are setting things up for money and ratings and whatnot. You should be able to gamble on whatever the fuck you want all over town and the idea that like money won Unless it's scratch-offs or the lottery by the government. Fuck you, overlords. everything. amount of crazy people.

1:02:20 But if you get winnings, you can also claim losses against it. receipts. Looking for receipts. I mean, how many pay taxes? It was a dilemma. They had these deals. Or allegedly. if I had worked there I'd emceed something but they just fucking were animals. on a fucking blazer and people get tired of seeing the same fucking act over and over again you're

1:06:26 owe us this plus a penalty which is that and you just and the comic clubs have uh, and I go to like the comedy store almost every single day. Netflix. And it's even imagine just having all those receipts and Business lunches though. uh, We'll have some camaraderie because of this booze. Wolf of Wall Street where they're sitting and getting sushi. We could have just got food.

1:09:19 You're using a movie. You're talking about some big business on a budget. That's all I'm saying. No, no. Unless you want to do a strip club joke They can't impress him at McDonald's. Yeah. movies. Like if you're a modern, if you're a fan of horror movies fuck you have to wait a long time how long you Didn't Jack Nicholson make one? That's a horror movie.

1:12:35 another uh scene in the movie like cgi yeah i don't look at marshall fivert jesus who is that I think it was called Wolf. And when you did see it, it was like... You're like, shit! like Jack Nicholson in this stupid It's not even weird. Huh? 94. Sorry. Wow, 94. does? Whatever. Looks like he drinks a lot of water now. one the top one that's that's lone chaney is the werewolf so this is like find out what year this

1:15:59 Back in the time where they didn't even have trailers Whoever is bitten by a werewolf and lives becomes a werewolf himself. Good lord. She was psyched. Did they? movie I did that the other day it was some horror titty they find titty they put that in there i mean that's a super common thing i didn't know Wow. That's what happened with Suicide Squad, apparently.

1:19:00 So they hired that company that made that trailer They had to reshoot a lot of stuff to add more humor to it. in that movie, I heard. Really? I refuse to watch it. Well, in all fairness, who the fuck knows what happened? He was just supposedly. He became an issue? he hates him. Jared Leto? Yeah. Tyrese, Vin Diesel Turns out it was Vin Diesel he makes a lot of money

1:21:14 Fast 8P. I don't know what that means. tmz's just so you have some prior advertising of a movie that no one even knew was being filmed Calling a dude a candy ass does sound like pro wrestling talk. They're almost picking and choosing. And Universal and Sony. And all that, operate under user, They choose from? Yeah. They don't use the If you look 85, what?

1:24:42 Was it always that way? Go to the Yelp app. But then they have like the reviewers. Because there's been a few movies. bit less biased and You said Metacritic, I just went to That's Viacom. like Sausage party or whatever it is Less. It's a bunch of people that are, you know. It's really cool. And then you go in there and then you got steady money. Okay, just be aware like so it's at a certain point in time no matter how rich you are someone comes along with a good

1:28:51 Let's do this. Woo! and he's gonna shoot us up with the same shit So hot. It was really my first time ever doing something like that level. movies and stuff. If I had He was in Kick-Ass. That guy's weird? Except from the 60s. I remember I was literally like lying. I still do it to this day. So perfect. Be honest. where they cussed at. I'd get a tattoo of it on my arm or something.

1:32:47 at the end in a mood but it seemed like they i mean they they do. There's the movie spoiler alert But no, I mean, it's unfortunate. of a fun movie. It's stupid. every dude in the movie was a dork. But here's what I think. and and and save everybody and and have the dudes be all fucked up looking or uh or a mess or crazy That was my point. Yeah. It didn't have to suck. Like there was some funny shit to the movie. The movie sucks so bad, I can't believe I popped it. It didn't have to suck. That was my point.

1:36:14 I was like, this is funny. It's a good movie to take kids to. is because it's a redo of the original Ghostbusters, part of that. There was also some really clunky from minute one to the time of the end of the movie it doesn't vary in the way it feels it Is this the same movie? fucking bang and just hilarious. Bridesmaids, yeah. God, I... Awful when I saw it.

1:39:29 When it's not on Netflix and it's not on Hulu, Oh, Here's the problem. No, and like you hear things like happening behind you like the most recent star wars movie That's totally unnecessary to watch that movie in the movie theater. It's one of the best movies I've ever seen. a couple of years to really appreciate what it was all about. Cause I saw it. I was like, God,

1:42:42 Like a complete redefiner. How dare you? it was about myself but shut this stupid yeah where he's in the west everyone told me He's too smart. I haven't heard of that She's hot You take one of the most Oh okay Come on, man. You want more than 33? I'll put it on my platinum card. starts bragging about his business I think he's like, He's great, I like him. He is awesome. I met him had he's great I like him

1:46:32 that was it was Seth Rogen Yes. I said, thanks, man. When I met, the first time I met him, I'm like, this guy is way too smart and way too weird. What is that dude's name? Franny's turn. There was a crazy rumor taylor negron came up to me after one of my sets one night and was like uh like one of the nicest compliments but also like really honest and and and curious like we had like a really cool

1:49:37 and that he was trying to change that. What the fuck happened this summer? I think it's moving movements. I don't care about your atomic clock. I think It's moving apart faster and faster, and if they didn't know this 20 years ago universe they just figured that out 20 years ago like we're just waking up it's You know? flying around a huge nuclear explosion a million times bigger than it.

1:52:42 Well, we need to revamp the entire tax system. Not only that, but inside each galaxy is a supermassive black hole this is not true that's charlie sheen i got confused charlie sheen would do that Like he used to give her so much money every night, he cut it all off. But that Chuck Lurie guy, he's like, he's real simple, man. $613,000 a month. Charlie says he now averages $87,000 a month and last month got a relatively paltry $6,261.

1:55:35 Just every... Different shit. I got different shit. The shit that Michael Jackson's doctor used, number, how many people do you think are being There's a lot. Do you notice mostly women though? find that yeah really i i know it's just like every girl i know A lot of them are fucking crazy. Seems really big. I don't take it. business and he's uh always working and he's fucking exhausted and sometimes he's like uh

1:58:20 Brian? Well, it does, but it also robs you of resources. Like everybody gets sleepy after they eat a lot, saying. It's not the smartest thing to do. you're late at night. You're like fuck it. have some light chicken soup Soup is one of my favorites. She's a crock pot. Yeah, my mom used to make split pea soup with ham. Not so much, bitch. Oh my god, that's not real.

2:01:36 It doesn't look the same either. Those things are omnivores. And they'll eat you too, you fuck. That's fucked up, man. Yeah, it was really callous man. It's weird. I guess he had to do it though particular Kansas a lot of these areas are famous all across the world for they'll put in tags and they'll put in tags over and over and over and over and It's really funny.

2:04:49 down from Canada, like into the United States. Well, I mean, I'm talking about a dead animal. I thought I recognized this when I saw the video. and was going to harm Somebody could have wounded it. Breathe oh my god look at the graphics. Pure speed. That last map. This is why. And people get mad at me. graphics. But I think you're kind of missing part of the fun like when you play maybe not maybe I'm full shit

2:08:49 Tan. Garfield. I don't know. Jokes, folks. You can do it. video card can't handle the frames per second because there's, or at least maybe it doesn't apply, and that's giving me this illusion of movement and it's all being calculated by a cpu unreal tournament when you get it to high resolutions and you hear the screams of the players and as much because it's more predictable.

2:12:12 is they would turn all the textures off so they would only have this like weird And what might not be in quake 3 which I think that it or that's quick live It might be a hack, really. if they were the only things you were looking at. didn't we get to see Unreal Tournament He's great. I love Cliffy. yeah totally it's a phone game You know, there's a game that's out that I just finished the other day

2:15:27 this god damn I might have had more fun I've been good at twitch then maybe it And it's really hard. You don't really need to, there's no real strange controls. It's just done right. real problem. I played I just pulled this up when I was looking for Archery on the Vive. But seriously, man, you're not going to give a fuck when you're wearing those goddamn HTC

2:18:06 This is the one I played. Like you just got to get a feel of which way it's going and how fast it's going. Like right there, bam, it's easy, he's right there. They're running right into the arrows. I don't know. fucked out of there relax son yeah make me nervous you don't want to have a to the girl than I thought I would. One of the, I use a Mac Mac and I use it for convenience and

2:21:15 Like you get a laptop from Apple, you're pretty fucking sure it's going to work awesome. What's my point? because I think it's going to be like program or figured out something, I would imagine I'm not a lawyer, obviously, but I would imagine there'd be some sort of a case for This guy just happens to have it. Let's guess. By the way, complete total guess.

2:23:59 This is a raper of your childhood. So those are virtual reality movies. he was being living now yeah stranger days that's true it's but it's kind of that reality is kind But there's been a few others, right? along and say they invented virtual reality like that's sort of like a Virtual reality is coming to your movie theater near you? Jennifer Jason Leigh.

2:25:52 The Matrix came out or three and a half reviews or fake reviews. Do you do that? Like, every time It's usually one guy going, dude, there's a helicopter down on the street. like uh there was some video of the um dallas shootout between the guy and the cops those are the former military guy who wow. In the first place so he actually played the ultimate

2:28:57 And I've played so many video games before that I've gone outside and forgot that I'm not in that video game still You're just running around assassinating average moms and dads and brothers and sisters. And look at this guy's walking through So you can just decide to be a killer. And I'm like, I'll talk to them. It's like, why am I doing this? If you kill the hooker, you get your money back?

2:31:17 It's just a pile of meat on Sunset Boulevard. I guess in my head This is not virtual yet. oh my god he just stabbed like this is so fucked up he's stabbing him in the ass with a broken when he was running for president wait wasn't she against two live crew yeah she was she was against I tell you, we've got gotta take Jamie right to a doctor Or something

2:34:29 Like, literally some demonic shit, man. It's probably something like that. And what's the P-ratio? See, I always thought that a circle jerk involved No, he's fat from all the booze to forget the cum cracker. You're on Team Bert is fat versus Team Tom is fat? Would you be saying this on the internet? I believe for, the smell the smell UFOs or anything like crazy

2:38:27 Leave him in the fucking forest The young guy, got married Yeah. Duncan Trussell. This is getting... What were you raised? Please, cut this. I heard uh what's his name by the way the guy who does the creepy show wants to call the cops I'm going to assure you that I have not succeeded. a joke but it was we were hanging out with really intense tense people you know like yeah super

2:42:04 And I'm like, well, if that's, okay, that's the problem with all ideologies. Like everybody agrees. And if he gets a hold of you and you don't listen to God, you will burn to the end of time. who cares? Enough with these fucking sins. It's an unexplored space. So when you play the game, it automatically generates the reviews of this game is pretty boring.

2:44:39 So is this game constantly inventing itself on the fly? There you go. Wow. it's just not good yet you kind of know it's there. strange world that we find ourselves sort of like waking up in. I think it was Virginia. Eminent domain is different. You have to move. There's too many of us. And the top part is the bus part. Many retards gonna be playing Pokemon slam into your fucking train knock it over on a traffic, right? Yeah

2:48:38 It'll crash into other people. I'm looking at this article that showed in a test I read it as if they're just, like, they're just seeing if this would work like testing huh well it makes sense yeah i mean And the other one does. no one's ridden on it yet but that is that's moving there's there's movement in that direction That fucking thing's going to happen, man.

2:51:14 Sure. Boom. Like you know those things that you when you cut an onion you drop it down like slice or like an egg Like a hard-boiled egg, you know those things slice egg slicer. That's what the front of the train should be that's why deer exist in mostly primarily white christian towns go to to Brooklyn. Find yourself a deer. the Jews have made sure the deer grow and take over and suicide bomb your automobile.

2:53:28 Michigan is the worst every year Well, to be honest, people... drive 100 times, one time you get a kick. times, but it doesn't matter if there's a deer on the road. Why is there a deer on the fucking road? Mississippi is 1 in 94. Wow. Minnesota. They're not good drivers up there. 94 times. Pennsylvania, of their truck. there were. There's a lot, and there's rules

2:55:25 and you run across a deer that just got hit by a car, that's like 100 pounds of meat. And I think the number of people that die is like 200. I'm a killer. Not good. because it might instill a primal rage in that fucking murderous predator I don't think you can predict just like you can't predict like a regular cat. was thinking about eating a person would he have been able to kill this and have

2:58:37 There's like you want to be able to preserve your own life. The problem is, once this thing jumps on you, you don't have a fucking chance. can't take that chance i'm not gonna die i'm not gonna die because i don't want it to die i don't So maybe that's good. It it as a little shield or something. This thing is 15 feet in front of him You go, oh, hey, man.

3:00:59 It's cute, though. Most likely. I would probably do that. Yeah. They take you out to dinner. I don't even know that guy on the bike? I don't even know to have a full simulation. kind of like I just wonder if there was that kind of calming approach or anything. I wish there could be a sequel to that movie. And it was really fascinating because as misguided as this guy was,

3:04:25 They'd steal his hat. I think we did commentary on this during Ice House Chronicles. He's putting feet on the hips. When I'm watching this, this is like rafael levato this is like that kind of jujitsu like super strong real technical pressure power they get on top of you and they It's like, Marcelo Garcia, Rico Rodriguez. pedro sauer was like 150 yeah and Pedro Sauer was like 150 Yeah

3:06:59 him in the thigh. He's way small in this guy and the bodybuilder is yet to move. Now he tries to The gi allows you to hold on to a big fucking sweaty gorilla like this guy. That guy was 92, Mr. Utah. Yeah, yeah, there it is. guess who wins when you do a pro wrestler versus a bodybuilder? No, not a pro wrestler, like a professional wrestler. But the original days of pro wrestling, it wasn't fake.

3:09:56 about pro wrestling is i it disturbs me that guys who are so good and women who are so good at wrestling don't have a professional venue for it where they're like rolling, like, he's got version of swimming. We're taking pro swimming, the same place we took pro wrestling. Let's do this. I like it. No, I'm just like, why would a legitimate sports thing be starting to do that?

3:12:24 I enjoy all these different mixed martial arts, but I want to do my own new show. who the fuck is going to watch anything else? And, you know, last night, Amanda Nunes became the fourth UFC women's champion. is going to have a fucking football show on ESPN hilarious. If someone Like, Bill Burr understands football. studio like a friend of mine was going to do something on the internet recently and he's like

3:15:07 You're going to be relieved of some of the financial burden, The price of entry is not exorbitant in relationship to the potential. It's in a very strange place. And 15 skanky hoes just dive on his pecker. Snapshot filters is a good example. and there's multiple million-dollar actors and actresses Well, as a still frame, it's a filter, I was saying they're doing it through movies.

3:18:03 that they put on your skin, and it radically reduces wrinkles. That's cool. You drink a lot. before, the old lady. Many, many, many, many, many, many No teeth. You smiled and looked over with your eyes closed. Well, in part of Indiana Jones where they open up the chest Jack Nicholson goes into one of those to have seen that. I know. I fucked up. I was trying to

3:20:38 i don't know how to work out hot which is great for like eight years. Nice aerial look on her. Girls have that hot for eight years. Doesn't bother me at all. She's got a flat house. You can see that she looks a little bony. wide open. He can't even enjoy and coming towards him. Holy shit, this is a good movie. It's like the old lady from Kingpin. See, here's backing up. She's decaying. And she's laughing and coming towards him.

3:22:14 I'm a huge fan. Ooh, what's that? Louis Anderson's a wonderful gentleman I'm gonna get I've been doing this thing on Instagram. Whoops. how do I get this light off