Joe Rogan Experience #850 — George Perez Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Boom! And we're live, just like that. Did you have location services turned on? He doesn't want that GPS on him. Well, we used to sell speed to people in Reseda. You know, they had uh statistic the other day on all that combined, there's more people on pain pills. No, nothing. I mean, I don't know about professional. Look at him. Yeah, they used to smoke cigarettes and then spit.

3:13 that's not me did i ding somebody ding um when you uh when you have add which is real debatable Maybe that's because you don't have it though because you don't have ADD, whatever that means. was just a regular fucking kid and they put the kid on prozac a kindergarten. Yeah, I think I would have too And I was just like, oh, what the hell? What is that?

5:54 It was weird because back in those days, Speed had a taste that was just awful. You focused. Still to this day. Man. Man. That's a weird one right people that are on speed i hung out with a dude recently that was on speed he didn't want to admit I mean I would look at the way he was turning fuck, does he know I'm on it? Okay, regather myself. Calm, calm, calm, calm, calm.

8:17 It's up. the kamikazes too that's how they got the kamikazes I remember there was this, I believe it was GQ Yes. an hour really yeah that's why those guys have those they touch it when they cut it up and then Some gangs sell guns. Yeah, the new one, right? are still tweakers because you know how you light a lighter your thumb goes down and then when you

11:45 that motion you notice when you see people doing the spinning with the lighter they're tweakers good looking you're healthy again you're getting it that's that's the weird part of prison so most people to like i used to look at fools on drugs and be like this fucking dude all right yeah here's shit because everyone's watching gangland and they're watching um what's that lock up msnbc

14:31 guards would throw you in his cell and they used to call him purple passion and they said he's the Come back then eat with our people I was a janitor. Fuck yeah. window like fuck i want to go play the catch wow yeah yeah so there was moments it was fun but if he wants to be testy like how like you know there's these cops that go in there and they hours a day or 12 i mean they just get to go home they do that long a shift yeah it's a 12 hour shift

18:20 That was the thing that I remember most was it like residential or housing tracks? Fuck. And it was in the summer, so it was hot. Oh, yeah, yeah. you're not gonna have any fucking energy you're going to have any energy yeah i used to be a cement finisher that was some Get out of here. So it was, yeah, I got out of it. It's a total guess. That would be insane.

21:15 Yeah, Canadians. I did three years. I was real good in basketball. And I was playing at the park. And, you know, basketball is a sport and I did construction. And then I used to play sports. I was real good in basketball. I'm like, all right, here you go. Like, I mean, I'm sorry. I become a comedian maybe like a year and a half later. and i'm doing the improv not even knowing i'm just like talking to the crowd what's going on like

23:55 Fucking guy that I beat up sees me on TV. since it's a John Doe crime it doesn't wow that seems crazy so if you beat somebody up 50 years ago and they just found out your name Yeah, right here orbital fracture yeah oh shit i see a lot of those okay yeah i mean i caught him good yeah like i think i caught him But then I think you admit that you beat him up

26:27 That was like when I started realizing in my head, like, all right, dog, you chose this. Because I mean, in my head, I remember like, fuck, you've never been to court. yeah it's court thinks it is and how fucked up he thinks it is People make such quick judgments. gonna win it boom joey diaz calls me up hey we're gonna do showtime by asshole comedy slam i was

29:00 All right, you know, come back. So it's like everything I worked for got took. Now, I have to you a picture of what's going on it's uh it's like a huge fuck it's kind of like uh The only way to get out of a riot is to show they look at everybody's hands and they say, hey, no, your hands are marked. No, it gets crazy, man. You don't ask questions. So I just, I stay quiet.

31:44 what you had to do. every i don't know how other races do it but like you know it's like hey i i've been with this fool Do we know who these people are? You know any little disrespect can trigger and start anything and you just have to follow suit I get staff on my fucking ass on the side because they only gave me one bar of soap. Yeah. You're gonna need to call like somebody and he's just like stop playing games

35:00 a riot to protect his life you know how you don't know what's going on in there and the judge was cool and then a lot of my family and friends wrote letters for me telling the judge It's where you, for 90 days, you're on lockdown, 23-hour lockdown, and you only get like an hour of day room. though it goes down but it's chill then there's a level two yard where it's like all right this guy

37:52 And then it goes up. Heaven Wow. Yeah, the foods better. No We used to make food spreads. that's money especially if you make it 38 cents an hour right yeah so we'd bring it back this time our bunk is equivalent get you get in trouble for this or checking on you no that's routine they know what we're doing Fuck. Like, because there's a metal shop in there.

41:34 and you get your bread and you put in the brown bag and you put it in there and 20 minutes later And the toenail clippers get hot and electrified, and they boil the ramen noodles. And this little spring, this fool made a lighter. No. But I love my tattoos. Yeah. Wow. Wow. So what is that? so it forces the needle to go up and down. Oh, see, here it goes. Drive pin on top of the motor, to the motor. Yes. And there's a string on that, so it goes up and down. So it forces the needle to go up and down.

45:00 Wow. And you put two little rocks in there, three, and then a little bit of water. Yeah. it's called the gooners these are ceos that specialize in gang any gang activity any riot come tomorrow. It's ours. I think you light Lysol on fire and spray people. So if you had gotten caught getting the tattoo, what would happen? Wow. Yeah, there's some websites that are dedicated to great tattoo art from prison.

48:45 You can't Google, expand, none of that. Well, it's not Charles Bronson, right? 40 years in solitary confinement now whoa Award-winning tattoo by the prisoner Charles Bronson. Yeah, that's an odd choice. And those are soldiers right there. make right unless i mean i don't know if they sneak it in i mean they sneak in pretty much Let's go to work, man.

51:20 Cup of noodles. Yeah. So if you are a cigarette person, you smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, you go to cigarettes in prison at all it's not i mean you can get them but it's not legal no yeah wow so if So when you're farming, like you're out there farming in Santa Barbara, then you can have cigarettes? I mean, that's what they said. Yeah, yeah, if I remember correctly, I know a lot of clubs I worked at had smoking until the 2000s

53:24 Yeah. Did you go back to smoking when you got out? for at least a year wow like a baller one cigarette one cigarette sometimes more sometimes more and that one cigarette was like oh Like, I don't do nothing else. You know who took it out too? Wow. So it's probably like 40 pound bag. You owe money and you're doing fucking bench press and somebody just hits you with the

56:40 Hmm. Fire camp. the fires and then they they only do one third of their time that's awesome but you can't be a in there at all yeah i did later on that's a crazy question no one's really ever asked me that Yeah. So all the races. so you have to have just like oh and then I guess one of the cops this is the weird part is all the cops left their dorms

1:00:03 That's like against the code. And I assembled like a little crew. i was like dog that's a setup right there like you just and he did it and uh the look on his like fools were pissed. Yeah. And I'm in a program called SAP. i think this was the easiest deal i've ever made i said look i'll do it He's like, town 2,000, dumbass. right so everybody was like i was just like

1:03:54 Like, how can I say that? We were there for six days, pouring rain, drenched. Everything's wet. I'm driving on the street. I don't think I've ever been happier. and they'll buy you can buy sodas cookies and pizza but nobody ever had Kentucky Fried Chicken in that bitch. I don't eat it a lot, but it's a bad habit. Guilty pleasure. doing that shit i'm scared scared of what though will we be scared i'm scared like i'm gonna like

1:06:58 You feel like you're in another dimension. And you just see people and you see cars and like, this is my world. This thing about it is you get used to it after a while, and it becomes normal. i challenge anyone to go go to colorado go to boulder colorado and look at the mountains go It's that you're at a very high altitude, and dehydration comes quicker for whatever reason. So you have to keep yourself hydrated.

1:09:03 We don't give a fuck. decriminalized. booming. Real estate prices, I think they went up 14 or 16% inside of two years. Drunk driving They're trying to pass legal weed in Arizona. And I mean, I haven't looked into it. Yeah, they think that you're a druggie and you're a fool something's wrong with you There's nothing wrong with it. She knows what the fuck is up.

1:12:14 So if I told you that this was bad for you and you realized it wasn't bad for you, she wouldn't trust me I said, I don't think there's anything wrong with trying mushrooms. You're right. Georgie, we're going to blaze it. But when a person reaches a certain age, like, man, that's a grown-ass human being. Yeah, he's 20 now. Yeah, that was some wild shit.

1:14:30 I mean, he sees her once in a while, but I've had custody of him ever since he was five years old. and they're living life like they love i love it dude my son lives by the beach he serves he like And then not have to go through them themselves. Is that when you were little, like, remember when you were little, you used to think that they were real grown-ups.

1:16:01 Fuck no. How to find out, be happy and create camaraderie. houses almost all of its bullshit yeah some people just go out on missions man i got a brother like He's a trip. And, and he was like in leadership programs and shit like that. Yeah, like he could kick all my friends' ass. He probably should have done that. I'm like, fuck, can I have something?

1:19:03 It's too hard to deal with them. relationship like a like a a block in the harmony because you're you're always thinking about And through getting your ass kicked all the time, But I think just for men sometimes it's good to have some sort of avenue for aggressive I've seen more girls fight each other than I've seen guys fight each other at clubs. Those are the first ones.

1:21:32 No, she wouldn't, bro. Probably a giant handful of guys that are like the best guys in the world and you meet them you It's so hard to separate it's good important to find a good school I mean, it's hardcore. Fuck yeah. and at the stand and walking around seeing all these comics just banging it out and constantly Yeah, dude, I live in Orange County and people are like, why don't you move to Hollywood?

1:25:37 Well, this whole area is a great, contrary to what people would think, is a great place to start. I had one of the door guys on the podcast before. Like, that's what, It's like 2002, 2001. Luke Torres and Johnny Sanchez to be the MC well I remember I saw you first time I saw you there was a while back you were doing a roast battle and the first thing i said

1:27:46 There's people that have done shit like that. It's really, what they've done is created an amazing um sort of a writer's It's a great show. The hardest shit was coming home. Like, wow. from the beginning they're gonna follow you in there so it's kind of like i was taught by the It was just like being on parole. that psychologically it probably has an adverse effect on the person like that's got to fuck with

1:31:37 Oh, man. called i'm a high risk inmate or normal parole. Normal parole. All you do is check in once a month. They don't come to your house. Sometimes you're just outside. you could stay in there he's like i don't want to stay there i hate that fucking house me and They were doing a cut. Probably. They got to make sure you don't have a rubber dick. He was talking about it.

1:34:29 when I went to court. just going to court. for reals it's like that and then everyone's like shoot it and it's like when you're in there But when I pull up to this and the home is gonna be like cuz you don't get in trouble for sneaking coffee Because there's hot water in the restroom right there. never no that's so crazy isn't it yeah it's just like i don't know man like it's kind of like

1:37:06 could i could see people wanting to move on with their lives too man i just think but it's prison They have bunks that are screwed into the concrete and people sleep. I mean cut you off, but this is this is what trips me out I can't imagine there's ever been a time. a broken society if you have a million people locked up or whatever the hell we have locked up, don't we have something like a million?

1:39:25 If it's a state business or if it's a private business, they're still businesses because they cost money. prisons. They're going to keep those jobs. Also, in 2013 were on Yeah. Everybody agrees like certain shit. business they start a prison so that they can make money by having people locked in their cages must be kill yourself bitch kill yourself big client kill yourself that was one of my earliest

1:42:15 And then in Mississippi and down south, they made the railroads, didn't they? I used to swing a sledge when I did construction. Lingerie. Oh shit. These dudes are making How many of them rubbed their ball sack on them? Wow, that's an interesting one. that they had slaves they didn't they didn't think slavery existed they're like slavery doesn't exist

1:44:19 I just thought of that right now. fault trumped up charges that's there's a percentage whether it's Holy shit. There's a wild horse issue in America. They're not a danger. from other parts of the world where they to kill off the wolf population. In Nevada, yeah. you know people are talking about hunting these things now because they're killing them and they

1:48:01 and they would kill horses for dog food, I mean, I don't know how many there are. Call them greedy, whatever. It's kind of cool to have wild horses, isn't it? I mean, I'm sure a mountain lion could kill a horse. It's a different hood. When I was little, my parents had a ranch in Mexico. And then when Cortez came, that's what they did to the people at the end.

1:50:42 Isn't that crazy? You would be the biggest baller ever in the world. level that very few civilizations have ever been on the mayan temples all aligned constellations in that cycle you are well the mayans knew that they had outlined that yeah i mean they they Like they're all certain gods. There's a few moments in history that I would really love to go back and just live in an invisible, bulletproof bubble and just be able to sit in the middle of a town and just watch these people.

1:53:56 That was the pyramid that we went up to. for a little bit of wear more than a thousand years later and it's just beautiful like when you when you look at the construction of it you walk around you're like It was amazing because this guy knew so much about Mayan history, and he also said that they were really into eating psychedelic plants. and he took us to this room where they would do it in.

1:56:15 Have you ever seen Apocalypto? Yes. I want to see what the fuck that was like. It costs a couple thousand bucks 10 grand, of a ceremony inside of a few days I believe it was within a few days definitely let's cut their hearts out like this is people this is human beings this is a totally Cutting 85,000 dudes or 80,000 dudes' hearts out. I'm the body cleaner. Take your time, bitch.

1:59:35 So no one could ever find the great con Good call. that he killed 10% of the world's population, You got to, if anybody listened to this, if you haven't, you might might have heard this before but i have to say it to people that haven't hardcore history there's a But they're hours and hours long, folks. Okay. But it's amazing. And that's what got me history of the Mongols, but it's amazing.

2:02:00 you mean there's levels of craziness in this world right now, Yeah, fucking life would have been crazy. And it's so long. they did it 2500 bc 4500 plus years ago that's fucking crazy it's hard to that they did it 2,500 BC 4,500 plus years ago. That's fucking crazy. It's paid workers that's the new theory the new theory is to get someone to build something like that

2:05:02 Yeah. or people making tattoo guns out of where there was no modern inventions and they figured out how to make pyramids on point and then i guess there's like they say that the way that Because they had apparently the zodiac constellations. prison too the only reason i adapted to is because i had nothing else to do but what was there yeah Get out.

2:07:57 there's nothing else to do. How was the weather? And that's one of the main arguments that the Sphinx is way older than people think it is. and you listen to geologists but he's like, neatly arrived around 2500 BC. It's all crazy. Whatever they did was amazing. Yeah, they and they lived like ballers. They always had gold gold everywhere based language so it's a very different way of thinking like so did uh the mayans had another one

2:11:23 I would wonder what that feel would be Well, apparently they had a gigantic library, the Library of Alexandria, and it was burned a long, long time ago. Okay. Oh, yeah. and i want to say his name is klein klein knives but he's a steve klein is that his name no that's That's him hammering down these bars of steel Something from space. And it just rips the ocean in half.

2:15:03 Imagine... I get that's what it would look like. think that we've been hit a bunch of times we've been hit a bunch of times we just forgot i i've Don't we always see the same side of the moon, too? There was some science thing from a long time ago, man, where they thought they saw canals on Mars. to make contact with the Martians. we keep knocking,

2:17:31 and all that and we just fuck them up Does the moon rotate? Yeah. on its axis as a result the moon does not seem to be spinning but appears to observers from earth to Like, explain that. How come the The scientists have a model of Earth 1 and Earth 2. we wouldn't have a steady atmosphere, Yeah. the sumerian text talked about earth's collision that there was a thing the planets called like

2:20:28 They find new stuff all the time. It's kind of like they're like, all right, make a right over there. See, there's a problem with Sitchin, though. It's fun to believe because he thinks that we were created by aliens. because of the old hieroglyphs they found. I thought I'd seen it all. read this i even read a book in prison called the biggest secret by david eichstein or

2:22:57 I don't think that's correct. Ooh that good call I don't know, just to... Yeah. They find something all the time. He was just wrong with the method. I would say the 1400s. call a tear down house you buy a house that's run down, but it's on a nice lot. It wasn't like a circle with a straight line. because they were making them in a blacksmith. See how it looked like?

2:26:59 It was like this white plastery shit. I did an attic once. Can I ask you a question? As soon as you go through the plaster, you feel the plaster, thin just really thin long boards and in between was this white plastery shit and there was plaster I mean, you could go to New England today and see there's graves that you could Some of them are kind of faint.

2:29:18 Because when things die, those things are absorbed by the environment. We want to fill our dead bodies up with some shit that keeps them from rotting. bury it in the ground and it's probably you could go dig it out today if i probably wanted to go in Like, yeah. You didn't get away. It's an inhumane way. What the fuck are you going to do? have a plot of land. I'm like, what? Oh my God.

2:32:02 care of bodies when people can't afford anything. But then they're going to go to jail. It gets people sick. It was like 50, 70 years ago. Jesus. No worries. you have to be buried in these areas where we designate that people go to cry and drop flowers Well, that's kind of the same way like when when people die like you have to give them you have to do something I want to break up with them. I just want to be able to just leave. I want to have my own choice. Yeah, I can't do that to death.

2:34:42 Because I was, I don't want to be maggots eating me and shit like that. For some reason, we've decided that they don't get to consume your body. It's one more way. We separate ourselves yeah man don't get cremated it's it's a made process you're supposed to go in there and just They're all stuffed into this area, you know, way smaller than L.A. out you gotta be 10 miles offshore but you going to get eaten in there by that.

2:37:45 lan right they chucked him in the ocean yeah that's fucking crazy that's crazy that's why i So they did it quick. that just seem crazy in the I would just be speculating Oh, they hung that motherfucker. I know in the body like the private to his dogs It says they buried his body near the graves of his other family members. Yeah, it's a trip. that's what changes things because people get upset at it because and then that word gets back

2:40:50 Do you see the thing that happened with North Korea? What the fuck, man? I wouldn't be able to read it, They're not allowed to have a personal computer it says living in a dictatorship a military straight up dictatorship the entire country is under the heel Plastic surgery is a huge fad in South Korea. looking yeah even if they were like not that hot.

2:43:43 Yeah. Oh, dude, they shaved the fuck out of her jaw. That's weird. remember uh her stage name was monica and one time i was high and i was a manica It's probably a guy who's like, you know, the Frank Frazetta of surgical vaginas. The rejuvenation thing? and I think it hurts like a motherfucker. That's all I got. Surgery. Sam. I don't know. Like, so much.

2:47:22 Either one's okay. Are you growing off the top of your fucking head? Yeah, you don't want that like when she's wearing a purse and it's like right by her ear. Maybe you want to conquer though Watch your P's and Q's. Like, you know, I was young. dude. I should have made my vein pop out. that's a super athlete what is that volleyball player woman's name she's very attractive

2:50:15 How is that even a person? Like they think that weight itself can actually fuck with their bone growth because their bodies aren't designed to what if that's been disproven what if that's been disproven i Maybe, huh? No, it's the best thing because you're shooting tired. You would do a lot of calisthenics, especially old school schools. Push-ups, sit-ups, and by burning you out with calisthenics,

2:52:26 go over the technical aspects of it, then just spar hard and that you should be fresh when you're These researchers found that testosterone injections increase both bone length and density, Hmm. watch the freshman practice i was like why do i gotta go to this practice older brothers man make He gave up on lifting weights? It makes you grow much more muscle.

2:55:07 So look at the size of that cow. That's what their bodies look like. It's like a Samoan mouse. What's the days? Red Band's funny. Bye-bye. Three hours, dude? Yeah, dude. Really appreciate it. Thank you. It was a lot of fun. All right, folks. We'll see you next week. Bye-bye.