Joe Rogan Experience #859 — Brian Redban Transcript

Transcript

0:00 And we're live So I'm trying to go analog Yeah, It's, You know, Like who's making this? fuck is really going on with some things yeah and they're so tricky now too like it'll be like Yeah, I followed this rabbit hole of, okay, what happens when you click that? Is this a fact check thing? I don't know. Yeah. Stan Hope on. I know Rollins is there anyone that you saw ones i mean if you really were hanging out with them like like

4:40 If you're like, hey, Emelianenko. Oh, I would say Mr. Seinfeld. oh yeah when friends call me red band It's fucking weird. See, Red Man and Deaf Squad. EPMD? I haven't listened to their shit in a long time. They still got a myspace how about this I get the job done. yanked off motherfucking YouTube rap was only a few years old. 1989. that's when the Sugarhill Gang had

9:03 I think People don't like it. just walking up, singing the Phenomenon. And everyone was like, when you're on the elliptical machine? Great songs. When was that? Yeah. Yeah, I was just about to graduate high school. I superimpose those sometimes. No. Okay. Okay. It was all a dream to me. school that I had, uh, an art teacher that was just a douchebag. He just was not nice and he

14:08 You're going to have to be able to do advertisements for Oh, fuck. John got a hold of me and he told me that he fucking quit that guy's class. and his brother was on the football team god damn i wish i could remember his last name but those uh got the most talented guy in the class and gave him an f yeah when he told me that i went what kid winds up in their class i mean there's some really crazy teachers out there and um there's

17:10 call a social justice warrior or people want to shut people down from being able it's never been more evident because this professor is brilliant. And he's like, this is craziness. In order to prevent from other people thinking they have a subconscious bias, they go way out of their way to show no bias whatsoever and even favor something that people would be biased against.

19:30 But, I mean, don't you like seeing all of them? There was a, last night, I was at this bar. Woman? You got to growl. Just fools. Okay? this girl who was a waitress and the bartender got so aggro bro on me and it was uh it was about Okay. We know that a court of law found that he wasn't guilty of it. I didn't even respond to him. I remember actual photos from the crime scene and photos of autopsy photo but of of Nicole with like a

23:36 I don't know how they kept it off the web. Like every link dead. that dude on the phone j style yeah even dig i Even Dig. I don't think I've been to Dig in so long. Dig is like one of the one-stop shops of getting interesting shit online. It's easy to go to someone who's already done the collecting for you. And it's, I know everything. Dude, you're the go-to toaster oven guy.

26:44 Fly that bitch in there. Tuna's got a stench to it that I can't describe. Right. You gotta put weird shit, though. You gotta put a bunch of weird And so to this day, he sees onions, he wants to fucking throw up. If he gets onions, he'll fucking puke. And she had this... There was not one thing that i would eat in this whole tray These fucking dudes,

29:20 If you don't know what we're talking about, I never even thought of it. because the chick's going to be born. Like in my mind, it has to be, it's an egg, it's in a shell, it gave birth. baby is your cholesterol or anything gone up since you got these chickens that is a gigantic myth it's the type of cholesterol so it's it's not food it's not like dietary cholesterol is actually

32:27 sugar in their sodas. Top producers backed 96 national organizations defeated 29 proposed regulations. There's some there's a new soda that they sweeten with stevia. Whole Foods Stevia Colas. Look, I like Stevia and coffee. I think it was like no land animals he was doing for a while, But those guys, if they're drinking something like that, like that Zevia shit, I guarantee it's not bad for you.

35:17 in yeah just a little bit man but i don't know how bad that is and i've cut down starbucks now shit, you know? Yeah. The thing I, the thing I miss the most and it's hard to get out here in But mushy is not the same as that. I think you gotta catch them in season. the Tohon Ranch, they have pistachio trees. but i always thought it was the same plant like you would graft your tomato branch onto another

37:41 and then they come back, what was it like? and now all I could see was his head and the lights in the ceiling, and then an examining level. The next level of the game. It's a T-cut. Is that what they're saying? They make a tree grow inside another tree. I know that's a really good point. I'm fucked Well, if I gave you an opportunity to give up pistachios for the rest of your life,

40:08 I'm interesting. I don't need. the ones in the shell where you crack them with the stupid crackers. Like, ah, bitch-ass walnuts. Just like the dance? I was always like, we cracked our nuts. Just take this fucking wooden duck and pretend it's real. That's hilarious. or was that just like a stupid redneck thing or something? didn't do much, so we had to do it all in our own head

42:49 Oh, that's weird. Some of them are beautiful. This is a cool spot. his art like some of them are just art like people like grandma type people have them on their And she's like just telling me all the shit that I have there that I completely forgot. like that tuba old school, like, Right, the record player with the speaker shell. It's called a phonograph?

45:10 and it's like one of those things me about this and this is just a metal like yeah it's like a kid's toy nowadays yeah but god that'd I know it's gonna make a comeback The last VCR got made. so basic it's like you could just pick put it on like one finger easily you No, just a DVD. I'm trying to figure out what a lot of this was. You're going to Iraq.

48:17 You remember RealPlayer? because there's another thing that someone was telling me and this it's i had never considered There's all these different people. Some of them are ISIS and some of them are Al-Qaeda and some of them are Taliban and and some of them are what they used to be the mujahideen it's crazy right yeah did you watch Oh, I'm watching the debate and I was like,

50:50 was like get get away from her let her talk you know like oh he's a big powerful man yeah he's a Did you not watch what I watched? And they duke While interrupting, he interrupted more and took more time to answer questions. Wouldn't it be better to watch the two of them sit down and talk? Everyone's broadcasting to you, including me right now, which is very ironic. But everyone, that's what they're doing. They're broadcasting to you. Everyone's broadcasting to you, including me right now, which is very ironic.

53:22 you get them together, the moderators But whatever. Just put that aside. But whatever people do, man, they get on a team and they fucking wave that flag. it is whatever they decide you know fourth amendment you know freedom of speech whatever This is not getting better. He'll win for eight years in a row. It doesn't seem real. Who's writing this? He was talking about America, and then he accidentally threw a flag on the ground.

56:53 I won't check Corey Feldman's Twitter page ever. It's fucking hard for a guy that's been in movies and had a lot of shit going on that it all kind of goes away. But I get. I mean, look, we're. It's weird. He's doing weird stuff. But I get really is gross and creepy and awful. That's what he likes, man. That's hilarious. fucking dozens of those They're all over the country.

59:25 people making and i forget wow i can give you an example well i said this before on the podcast in a weekend robert downey jr would make about 1.5 million for his appearance at comic-con You said Robert Downey Jr.? That's insane. Okay, but I'm only talking a couple lines okay good good good it's cool just smile cost like just presses play and just waves

1:01:50 to make it look like she's doing some typical DJ stuff nowadays. they have two fees for an event like that. and I go like this while my jokes play. Have you ever ate one of the hottest peppers in the world? But then at the top end of the scale they had like some Himalayan death shit And that was like a tiny little bite of this stuff. I don't know if you've seen it where this guy answers 10 questions.

1:04:14 Do you think it's genetic? breaking a sweat where other people are like gagging about the guy no no he's japanese whatever when it comes to the hot peppers. bullshit until oh what is he doing it's just a gif of exactly what happens to me the second after So this guy's got the Carolina Reaper. Oh, Jesus. I'm a bud tender, so... Bud tender. Why the grapes are so important there.

1:06:46 Three hits and you'll be beautiful. There is definitely some weed I've had that makes me feel like cleaning my little house. is almost every time I've had a bad one, See, I don't believe this. We really don't know. Something. It doesn't seem like a good idea either. Hey, will you eat one of these peppers? It's the hottest peppers. Is it toxic? Paying people to eat the world's hottest pepper.

1:09:45 uh, Yeah. there's a show. Really? They say it's a scripted show? Right. it's like real like the one of my favorites is the prophet yeah but it's a lie though all of it is a lie it's different than the other thing is the other thing is like they're You're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, who are you? those people on the other side were in on it like remember he didn't you do him

1:13:12 where they just You know, it's not good when you know it's fake though you. You can tell it's fake. A lot of the actors are such bad actors that you don't even need to know somebody that's working on it. no i haven't not but i've heard it's really good stanhope likes it very funny and what if they God damn, dude, that's one of my all-time favorite ridiculous movies.

1:14:51 It's so stupid, dude. fuck-ups in there bro just uh didn't work out but what happened my point was i haven't seen costner in a while It goes away from ways it's a time capsule because it captures how fucking ridiculous people were in the year that You've been screwing up this town for too long. Bad intentions. wasn't a good movie. I love some parts of it.

1:17:51 and you go, what? going into other dimensions, retrieving their friends, and it's fucking craziness. You didn't like it? This one's being made by, I think it's being made in Japan. the original Godzilla, not the original but the most recent His fucking family's waiting back for him. Or the kind of people that are writing this Westworld show You're fucking terrible tasting shows.

1:20:22 It's a strange kind of violence because it's like a robot violence. Yeah. I thought it was just a cowboy show. Dude, I'm telling you, I kind of forgot how good of an actor Ed Harris is. I don't have time for that nonsense. I watched The Fucking Wolfman with Benicio Del Toro like five times. writing like you can't just have that dude living over and over again,

1:22:59 He just keeps surviving, and it's driving me nuts. in a boat off the coast of Seattle and a fuck you up too stupid it's gonna fuck up everything it's not gonna care about these run over each other and not care. You have failed us in this... You have failed us in this... Yeah, that's... It's like the original Godzilla good. Not really. We need big gulps in our Godzillas.

1:26:50 So far, we haven't how big your muscles and bones would have to be. Maybe. Wow. We fucked up. No, no, no. smashing through buildings eating your kids jurassic park was technically real well what So my point is they accept alligators up to a certain size. No one's going to be out there, and you're not going to be safe. Stokes? You know what that means?

1:30:59 What is Stokes? are delicious you just have to uh prepare it properly and you get it like right off the Was it Papados? It's like a bunch of chains, right? i just want to check i just want to know what team you're on i'm not we're going to have to do something then, right? Yeah. Okay. I'm just checking. I just want to check. I just want to know what team you're on.

1:33:00 Okay. Just stay the fuck out of San Francisco. This is not funny. After the guy died they seem so lovely when you're on television, that's great. No. You've got to shoot wandering down your neighborhood? No. No. the story about him. He keeps talking about this inscription There was a story written on the tree, That's insane. Just like lions are cool.

1:35:56 Do you know the guy who is the When Wolves Created Rivers guy? And all these other animals survived and thrived. 200 people dead from colliding with deer You know the Oakwoods everybody gets when you first move to Hollywood? we would be gunning them down I'm going to eat your fucking cat. But I still love them I love them It's a lot like a dog. That's never happened to me before.

1:40:19 singer she's killed by coyotes really dude it's ugly because they found her she was still alive And we knew that he was going to come back in 30 years. They're sniffing around your garbage cans. we're trying to coordinate a date. And then they venture out at night or venture out at dusk. You go down here. It's like a weird animal that's just small enough

1:43:03 a fox. Oh, a pet fox? Pet fox. And the guy would just be like ha ha ha ha ha of the fox laughing? No. This guy, I guess, has a fox. Look at that. He's laughing. When grizzly man was up in the woods This is another perfect example Involved in all sorts of crazy shit. it's really interesting another interesting thing is that wolves killed one of those foxes while he

1:45:33 That's apparently the main reason why they kill cats. he found a paw. And he's crying. in your yard. If I'm bored, I'm going to watch this shit again. They're saying it's up to 500,000 old people go missing every year in China. 500,000 a year. 80% of missing people are old? That's what I'm saying. Under 300,000 if that was the equivalent. Hey, just Google what kind of shit eats people in China, and they'll say Chinese people.

1:48:49 and if America has 90,000 missing people meat made from poop Ladies and gentlemen, I just want to announce right now, Imagine if pterodactyls were real. You can fly away and I can't fly? Fuck I mean, if you see an eagle and you see those talons and shit, they'll freak you out. predators of humans there you go we just figured it out Oh, they have a bunch of other cats, too.

1:51:05 my estimation is that poor communication, lack of resources, What am I not supposed to get eaten by? Maybe, yeah, let's say Asian. Yeah. Oh, my God. There's more than one of these videos. Oh, my God. or your kid, or your friend, or your mom. There's a bunch of videos of people They just want to go and hurt somebody for whatever reason that's the place to do it right trapped

1:53:46 So says who? Alex Jones. Did you see Alex Jones? Let's go stay on one subject at a time fucking OCD ADD fuck Huh? Maybe that makes sense. When people don't have trigger discipline and they I think what he's saying is that she didn't even mean to shoot this guy. This cop in Texas the other day Why would you tase somebody while running on the highway

1:56:17 It's all legit. or he let uh his uncle he let the guy pass his uncle, and the guy wound up. Let me see how they do this. Bam. And if you go back 30 seconds when he first jumps on the highway, he almost gets hit like three times. the thing man even if that dude was on pcp she shouldn't have shot him right it doesn't make it terribly hard to do. And we don't get

1:58:21 up. Somebody got or what they figured out or who knows but and fuck fuck that job imagine just chasing after I would never do that. He's a great guy. What is he on Twitter? And that you never turned on one of your own. the other guy out it's madness fucking great dude it's a great documentary and You still get it. There's this mill filled with grain, and these pigeons are eating from the top of it, and

2:02:15 One of them falls and lands in it the world needs to know more Yeah, I guess so, but... I don't think so. pictures of like really really old pictures of people with weird Microcephalopathy suffers campaign. That's crazy. There's people that are going to be born with little tiny heads. From top to bottom. that can just all this. You know, I know this is my grasp of history.

2:05:36 There you go. Didn't really like being a vampire. do a string theory, but codes what it's calling bits. I'd always heard it was 11. Like, do you think that those could be related in any way? and figuring out how many dimensions there are potentially in the universe. It's too, it's way, way, way over my head. that fascinates me like where they can actually like they um like things being in a state of

2:08:59 but the bottom line is they're actually observing this stuff. This is where scientists are going, They're still and they're moving. They're pretty sure that this thing it right now. And if they're right, It's a new discovery good! of the night. What's that? just so rude rich hey um where did that take place that baby baby? Was that born in, like, Russia? It's boring. When I came up on, I just Googled it.

2:12:36 It's going to be the most handsome. do we have a real good study group We're just like, we don't know how this is going to work out. You think about all the goddamn murderers that have ever existed all throughout time. And we all wear chips. all the rest of the shit work whoa he like tricks himself to become a valid And then they go, okay, well, it's reasonable.

2:15:29 and everyone's 25 and then they all die. He was in something else, too. You spend time. so like a sultan of Brunei Playing VR, you got to play Duncan's VR. Have you played that one yet? The late 1800s. What couple hundred years? Yeah, what a thousand years? And there's one of the games that comes with it, I believe, is where you're underwater. If it hasn't already.

2:18:31 You can actually interact with something that's on the TV. Cloot-toot. Did you say 1880s? Dude, that's insane. Explain that. Yeah, maybe. Show us a video, bitch. It's got a rear view. Batman thing how close is that pretty close I would sue like bitch that's my I need to start eating healthy so I can have this someday. gonna oh man this is amazing it illuminates the road in front of you? Is that what that was supposed to show?

2:21:52 Vision Next. Motorrad Vision Next 100. that's sexy You sit inside of it. cgi this is what they're saying they are making and whether or not they're gonna actually get I want an actual steering wheel, bitch. out of the back of their pipe one of its own engineers? And it will slam on the brakes. No, please don't tell me that this is going to happen. That was the engine, yeah.

2:24:46 What about the crash test dummies Don't you have a life If you don't think We're going to eventually be controlled by everything that we have in our life. And it was worth it alone to lose that freedom. You've got to trust these idiots to stay in your lane. and gets in front of you at the mall Fuck you! when it's really a minor fender bender That just happened to me

2:27:15 I merged over. know why you're mad but i started thinking like oh shit he's gonna follow me around the corner You run into someone. But there was something in her head about like someone cutting her off. Like, And there was, people were just shooting each other on the freeway during traffic. regrets it for the rest of his life 99.9% of the time. But you just run into the wrong person at the wrong time,

2:30:05 and he'll just like kill you and just be like, It's a strange study. You know what that means? watching them non-stop all day they're the greatest Don't you think that what's going on with us, though, good luck. 20 minutes to get there the other day and it it's literally like 7 to 10 miles from my house. A bike, for sure. A bike, for There's too many of us. But meanwhile, you get in a plane,

2:33:03 Yeah, it's super expensive and slow you're like, Jesus. Well, you could boil spring water or pond water or lake water, Have you ever heard of that? I mean, I was listening to these guys talk about it. weekend, I think. He was a There's a bunch of different kinds of filters. state-of-the-art survival technology like that kind of shit and uh just drinking out of ponds

2:35:52 Yeah, of me and this dude, no name. There's been a bunch of them, a bunch of people. Lyoto Mach minerals in it. Wasn't it? Stuff that came out of your body. Yeah. The fighter guy. There's been a bunch of them. Yeah. nootropics, believe it or not. We clicked it. Old school Just pulling them out of the ocean, was like in the the 1800s the early 1900s and they would uh cast out for lobsters and catch them and

2:38:46 discovered these mines in south africa i think it was diamond production was very small a few pounds And then diamonds are worth a fuckload of money. They essentially have an unlimited supply of diamonds. Like, all the known, like, Ray-Bans, Oakleys, How many different? we're not going to... Really? They also own Sunglass Hut or any of the sunglass stores.

2:41:10 Snopes.com did Yeah, it's an interesting show. that Stephen Crowder And the fence wouldn't help because only, I think, it was like a certain percentage of the people that got into the country came into the country It has the numbers. Pete Dominick, you know, the Pete Dominick from the stand-up with Pete Dominick, I I think radio show on Sirius. I think that's what his show is called. Forgive me if I'm

2:43:46 no numbers at all. It gets to it pretty quickly. Sorry, fuckers. Okay, 40% came here on planes. hard but going to like philippines like trying to get a like i tried to remember when i tried If you're in a really, really super poor part of the world and you get a shot at trying They look over at the camera. So they're hanging out for a minute. Wow. So they're just holding on to those things, right?

2:47:25 They're on the wrong side of the dirt. It's fucking weird that we just decide that people are born in a wrong patch Like, it's not, it's just not going to keep going like this. You have a series that just is common sense. sort of ethics program where they try to think about what's important and what's not important You've figured out a way to use person with an amazing view of

2:50:34 It's going to be Jesse Ventura versus Kanye. That's not going to work. Or who the person can convince them that they'll do a good enough job. have that streaming music service and that wasn't a really good idea was it still does doesn't he But anyway, at the end of the day, there's a lot of fucking smart people that are super popular, is my point. Okay? Because after all that grab the pussy

2:52:47 They have a great relationship now. And the unspoken arrangements that they have with certain people to pay them large sums of money. peter chris but the fucking show is awesome dude it's amazing and then right after that to top it Close. But he made it because people paid money to see him. She's up there with a bite suit on, We are real weird, talk to people. He's going to be reasonable. He might be anti-capitalist to a certain extent to some people, but ultimately what he does represent is something that's different than the way things are running now.

2:56:31 Who knows what the fuck's going to happen, man? First of all, the Trump debate. That was a 10-8 round for sure. She says her sentences more concisely. There can be no doubt. Yeah, this is a shame. I know, this is a media thing, she's a fucking crook and she's still going to ruin this country. I understand that. But that's not what a debate is, okay? What a debate is, is some sort of a contest of words. It's a battle of words. It's a battle of ideas. It's a battle of concepts. It's a battle of words and personalities, importantly.

2:59:48 you go to jail, that really rang with me. That really made sense to me. And you see all these People are going to be that guy for Halloween now. 50,000 followers. It was wonderful. gone full parody. Just go, just get so crazy. I think it's perfect. I went down the explanation Tower 7 rabbit hole, which I found to be very plausible. And he's just obsessed with this idea.

3:03:12 towers were rigged and that they rigged these things like years in advance and it melts so they were showing all these different um things that that collapse just fall down Why? than you see on the internet. They find it. Could you imagine if we got to a point where we had to start killing people off? We're at 7 billion. But we don't have the water, right?

3:06:33 We just keep doing it. sense if they're killing off do you think they're doing that though yes there's too many people in There's 90,000 missing. Including kids. 80% of the missing people are, I believe. 72% suffered some sort of memory impairment. The population of people over 65. that's a spike, man. With like an illness like Alzheimer's or something like that. So they're already on the way out. They're saying so so they just

3:09:34 I think by 2030 People are going to beat your ass. last longer because they eat well. and she's like in the train crash over there man well Ari will tell you what's going on in china it's fucked up over there man well How many new billionaires are created every day in China? Well, that sounds more likely. One every five days, there's seven days in a week, there's four weeks in a month.

3:12:05 of 50 60 a day i was only off by a factor of 365 let me see what tate said maybe tate lied to me and they have the parts of the world Fuck, man. you'd be like, oh my God, these little strange characters Fucked up. Embarrassing. Well, it wasn't a Asian person that did it though, right? No, no, no. Waterfall. Wah-ah-fall. Yeah. Wah-ah. Yeah. She had a book that actually said, like I said, A, and it showed the symbol B, but it

3:14:31 It's racist. And no one will go, you fucking racist. You hear them talk. like fake noises fake noises that sound like like keep doing that with her and you'll learn the Yeah, I think so. strong accent it was hard sometimes to understand exactly how to say the words but like uh kicks Of course you did. But you say it as like that or something. Nookie!

3:16:55 Oh, like that Limp Bizkit song? Is that what would happen? and it means, like, Simulation theory. It's even misspoke on the Louis C.K. show that they said that it was originally, that the reason why they used that term for gay people is because it's a So a burdensome woman became a faggot. But for the most part, But they didn't, And it's still a gross word when you're applying it to a homosexual person to sort of dehumanize them.

3:19:57 You gotta be careful. pertains to a burdensome woman, as it pertains. if there's just one and we use it universally. What does it say? Okay, that's where it is. you're right but we should be honest about the origin of words you know and that's not honest Calling each other the other F word. Doom-de-doom-doom-doom. I heard the Oxnard one is the shit. Yeah, me too. That's a good spot we're super lucky in California that we have I heard the Oxnard one

3:23:11 you've got Irvine if you're like a one in Hollywood, which is one of the oldest has that many major clubs that close like that dude we're so lucky yeah but ontario is awesome He's fun. Oh, it's a party. And until then, oh, Russell Peters.