Joe Rogan Experience #882 — Tom Papa Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Confusion. If you don't get it, you don't get it. They're about subterfuge. Ah, Cleveland's fun. In Playhouse Square District kind of thing. It really is. But, you know, when LeBron left, they were devastated. And since he came back and then won it, it's changed the whole place. It was real. He's from Cleveland, too. But they had Jim Brown. They had Jim Brown. But they have the Browns, which always... Is that bad? They're bad. But they had Jim Brown.

2:13 have they played? but I really love Everyone seems to. rushing them out. There's jokes. you in a totally different direction. end of your set or whatever people start yelling out old bits that they want to see right and I've seen it a bunch. Some do, but the ones who don't and they say, oh, you're doing the same old jokes. I completely go, my first question is, did you see some new stuff?

5:59 The people that just can't wait to get on Twitter Yeah, for sure. Jay Leno is a brilliant comedian. He might have found that and bought up every copy of it and burned it. record, why would you put out They don't think of Jay Leno. Do you think if he could have done the Tonight Show and put out more material, he would have? Duncan Trussell is a brilliant comedian.

8:36 this is this is growing this is stuff i'm proud of and then if i'm writing something i think i i Well, that's George Carlin. Yeah, I mean, he had some brilliant jokes, no doubt about it. he was calling himself a writer more than a comedian. that together in a year, but it doesn't have the seasoning, the confidence, the ins and outs that people having a good time but saturday you're just you're like a man you could just kick back and

11:18 Let me just tell you this right now. I'm going to do a 15. And he said, what the hell were you thinking? He knows what the fuck he's thinking. have you seen Craig Ferguson do stand-up I have not he's don't that's what he does Yeah. He's a weird one, man. He's got this one show where it's kind of like two teams, kind of a thing but he's always popping up and doing that kind of stuff so it'd be interesting

14:33 like, come up with stuff. and they go, oh, I'm done. Yeah. I'm like, check, please. Really? Show up dressed like the Pope. Mm-hmm. Probably the eighth time. And then you get to leave and go about your life. Was he serious? Yeah. No, that's a real gig. Yeah. Jeff Zucker, I think. Conan. Imagine if you're the guy How much time went by Well, it's one of those things

18:31 They don't always have faith. Pressure. It was more mainstream expectations. No one cares. We're still doing it. Ford's still buying time on that show. Everybody's like, hey, we're good. We're good. See you tomorrow. No one cares. It's like, all right, we're still doing it. I was there for the very early days of Conan. and behind Conan would be someone holding a cue card.

20:31 We need to script everything. He is still super creative. I mean, that's what he does. He had Burr on the other day. Yeah. Just go. his element oh just rapid fire oh my, my doctor, let me tell you. which I believe was in his 40s. like, I can't catch a break. just those little words just wasn't catchy and get her done get her done really I mean So sorry, white guys, too.

24:37 people love you so much but the other side How long is he walking around? he would sell the t-shirt with that line oh god and then he was also getting drunk you know as They go nuts with the merch. I can't do it. it's a third one the other one george lopez no your guy the big controversy guy the uh Then he has another guy, takes pictures, and sells those.

27:17 It's like going to see Santa. He always did that. sensitive about your work and you get through the set and you've done you put everything you anybody anymore everybody Everybody has to we're standing there watching the show Yeah, because they're standing in front. Meanwhile, I take videos of clark when he's on stage Hmm. No, I'm sure. When you look at that list of comedians, it's like Tim Allen had the ooh, ooh, ooh.

30:20 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love when you did the thing. slowly walking away. Well, Jamie and I do this thing that I stole from Steve-O. Oh, take my picture. get them. When you're doing thousands of photos, though, there's only one way to do it. Yeah. a real thing given back and forth you're riding this there's a it's not a mystical just it's a

33:46 Please don't yell at anything. Oh, Jesus Christ. MILFs? It's a nice moment for a married man. That's sleeping pills for comics. I mean, when you play me live, when you just do live, fucking no you can't you can definitely have an opinion you don't want to interrupt a performance When at the end of it, you're just howling, laughing. seems like he didn't oh really yeah it seems like there's a lot of a lot of fucking uh a lot of fuel

36:57 Oh, God. He goes, it's two thirds because the lawyers take a third. No, of course not. Yeah, and you're writing them checks. Your relationship's cool, whatever. do you feel like that would freak you out? Sure. It's nice. Ooh. Worried about where that's going to come from Like a four-bedroom house with a yard and some work. Do I still have Yeah. Right.

40:50 on to your lifestyle and what you're doing so hard but if it all for whatever reason washed And a lot of people do go towards that minimalism life And he decided, you know what? And now he just stays I don't think willingly I would, Yeah, because I've built a life that's bigger and more complicated. read it and i got into this big fight with him in the southern uh and uh noam who owns the comedy

43:50 Okay, brain, I know what you're doing. I know what you're working on. It just kind of alleviates that mess up my my body so what does he tell you about physical issues? i know a lot of people that have like real issues like real physical issues it's not a rare thing i I definitely think that's true in some cases. Am I stressed? Do I have anxiety because I live in this house? Because I'm trying to do these things with my career because I'm trying to always do this because

47:27 So you've had a lot of success. A lot of people on your back. It's a weird way to bring this up, but is that... I feel like it's all positive. cats asleep and the dogs asleep and everybody the lizard's asleep and it just all my responsibility washed over me like that i don't tell my wife that stuff i don't tell my kids that stuff i just carry it so when i started

50:20 Like, I don't think you should ever buy a big place unless you're like, Hey, we can Mortgages are weird, man. with my wife in that little studio apartment in New York again, wouldn't be so bad. Right, exactly. Carry things with your teeth. Just yoga class. other stuff doesn't bother me it's not your fucked up brain i equate this anxiety to stopping yoga

53:25 Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, I do. if you wanted to be a mixed martial artist and you only wanted to work on your skill, Everybody's got a different way, obviously. Meet new people. Occasionally you'll meet someone that's really cool and you enjoy talking to them and then you have these cool conversations. They live in a mansion. I need to see things. I write all the time.

56:10 You're just mining. That's one of the biggest challenges. You might have decided, you know, this fucking writing is too difficult. there was a time when i could only write on the computer in the morning up until 10 and it's like Yeah. Yeah. I'll show you. Yeah, that's in Notes. This dude, he writes in the morning when he's supposed to be taking yoga.

58:27 It's all right. That's pretty great. someone weaving in and out of traffic i see the light of their phone shining in their eyes and they're trying to text while they're driving. But I just, it scares the hell out of me. They go from being 11. You're checking your phone every two seconds to see the response. Yeah. Oh, my God. My God. Oh, my God. All the fake news stories?

1:01:34 So the fact that that guy's friends with that. This is from 2011. So anybody who doesn't think that it can reach, but did work with a lot. yeah this whole this comet pizza thing so some guy walked into that comet ping pong place uh And she had a great point. will always be really legitimate news sources where you can cite that people agree that this is a

1:05:31 are so suspect now. What we saw from this past election, whether you support Trump or whether It could be slanted, but there still is, did this thing happen or not happen? They kept harping on about all these conspiracy theories about Hillary being ill. This is his perspective on it. Right. It's a drug for people that have narcolepsy. You're not supposed to fall asleep while you're standing up.

1:09:00 I really felt like every time you'd see her walking out towards the podium And why was Trump sniffling so much? She's clutching that thing. All right, here we go. It doesn't fall like that. My mom couldn't make it I couldn't believe both of them were still standing at the end. He did. He's eating Kentucky Fried Chicken. I'm like, this is madness. It's so crazy.

1:11:31 Yeah, it is. I think that Trump is a populist, and I think that the last thing Trump wants is people, more people, especially the potheads, rallying against him and saying this is preposterous. There's so many positive benefits to the marijuana legalization movement. when I was performing there last month I do, but I can't. In your special, you actually talked about the gummy bears.

1:13:31 You're supposed to be scared. but it's a different thing than the eating it the eating why do you like the eating it because it's Click. So you do it, literally, you're not joking. least i shouldn't say one of the things i've i've an exercise and as I've done it like as a discipline is try to constantly and consistently improve everything I do, whatever I'm doing, whether it's a martial art thing or comedy thing.

1:15:52 yeah when you sit alone with your thoughts and you think about everything you do and you can You don't want the door. I need to know what I'm getting into. a lot of scuzzy skate pothead kids and not being afraid of the cops who just waved to me, I got my dog so high once. And it was in L.A. I go, what's the deal? She was so sweet. What kind? She was a pit bull.

1:18:43 bong hit after bong hit you can get that take the taxes and fix the bridge that's how it works and like these practical like things that It might be the only way we find out. And like he just, sometimes he just says shit. Yeah. And they asked him why he did it. And that's why it's so imperative that someone like the Washington Post or like the New York Times cannot be biased in any way.

1:22:36 Sure. feels like it's the last place where grown-ups work this person makes ten thousand dollars a They're talking about the same story. It's very slippery do you see the fake porn going Iraq, same stuff. Who's right? Are you is I mean at what point is there some sort of a response? this guy thought it was real and he goes in and what if he shot somebody? Right.

1:25:03 I mean, if you're saying like if you pick a donut shop, Yum Yum Donuts, and you decide Right. And I'm trying to do less and less of that in my life. You can expose crimes by just recording it on your phone. Like it gets real sketchy. to person through the internet going to figure out how to, how to broadcast intention. So instead of a language, they're going to figure out how to broadcast what the feeling is behind you thinking something.

1:28:27 it but if you could somehow remove the language and just what is the intention behind i love you Right. But it's all, these are all these ideas are rolling around inside the body and then they get expressed through something Just walk out on stage. I don't know if... You can make it true. I don't know the Samsung, but the HTC is one. but it's not as good as like the the high-end Right. And we're in an infancy of this stuff.

1:31:40 You're like, oh, this is so weird. You could record your special. With a whale. Thank you for being alive. he's not worried about getting his kids to school. Yeah, Cat Williams is getting in a goddamn street fight with a young kid. and i think it's entirely possible that he might in some sort of a weird whether it's conscious Oh, of course. They was talking about before he goes on stage and one of the things that he said was

1:34:40 that but then i watched that kat williams thing and i went you know what he's right yeah you really shouldn't eat before you go on stage like you can always have a like a little And they said, get all of his stuff before lunch because once he eats, he's a different guy. top that fucking movie was he was so over the top like he took over the top to a new place a whole

1:36:17 You know what I mean? the whole golden pond he did all these great impressions oh yeah he could do a lot of He was on a movie set once, and a friend of mine was working on the set, and he didn't like his performance on a take. I don't remember what they said. Just fucking, fucking fuck. I know exactly what you're saying. Like I always hear the bit, like you always hear like the stories like they had to get

1:38:55 I sucked. these problems and was kind of crazy and kinnison it was just crazy and doing all those are my there's... Right there. really funny comedians Very hard worker. Like literally. Dude, can I – I got a bread I want to drop off. It wasn't a big deal. I think he was a little pissed off that his wife liked my bread so much. small moves to try and get better i'm, the rest of the world is out there,

1:42:21 What's amazing about the bow and arrow world, I would say the archery world, And a lot of people, they think that is what it is. And it's all about figuring out how to execute a shot correctly using your skeleton and holding everything perfect and not having any influence on the flight of the arrow. Like in terms of like you could be really good at it deep in your 40s or 50s.

1:43:59 You know what I mean? It's like I can get really great. He's actually... Right. Right, in the summers. that he has to still go through the same process. How are you writing? You can eat elk though. I mean, there's a whole nother level that I am not even close to of the pH balance, Are they the Rolls Royce? It's J-G-U-S-T-O or G-J. Yep. Yeah, bro. leave the to go on the road and just make sure they have their bread when they're there everybody's

1:48:11 Yeah. It's very appealing on the outside. grain porridge loaf yeah what the hell whoa that's all seeds you're putting seeds on it I don't know if, like, my conventional stove could do it. The contrast in this photo is hard to tell because we might just be looking at some weird Oh, that looks really good. I fucking knew it. There's this other stuff that's pretty good, too.

1:50:51 Oh, yeah? She insider traded. They are? If I got a tip, I'd be like, oh, look, dude, we have a big tip. I don't know, but I've given it to friends like good americans i don't know probably i don't know i don't know they are in venice they probably But you need gluten for the structure of the bread, so it still has gluten. Trying to do science. It's water, flour, and salt.

1:53:31 Oh, you know what? A whole bunch of fun. Hmm. Calcium sulfate, dough conditioners, sodium, sterol oil, lacrylate, exoxylated, mono and diglycerides. I don't know that it officially was. stop here oh calcium dioxide and or azodicarbonamide banana jesus christ have some sort of preservatives in the bread. Sounds like it. to your body it's probably making it difficult to digest things you're probably not transferring

1:57:37 But you have a bunch of gut flora. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. You have to take a bunch of probiotics. how long is a loaf of bread supposed to last if when you cut it it should start getting hard They would have a loaf of bread. And then you would do that with all your foods. It's hard to get good food in your system. Sometimes you're in a hotel and you're like, is there a side vegetable?

2:00:48 and I just got in yesterday. That's my job. That's so cool cool that's my job at the house that's so nice because like that's But what I was going to get at is it's kind of like what you were talking about before. Whatever is keeping you, I can't do that. and now I am where I am See, that's the thing about when the unknown is very stressful. Yeah. The wall of death at a comedy club.

2:03:28 I know. Seriously. There's a lot of it. There's that that novel thing every girlfriend you were with was pretty good everything you did maga yeah hashtag maga faggots it's just it becomes it becomes a chant it's just a grunt If you could tap into them. No. I saw a really dark video of this guy. you just can't say Black Lives Matter that everybody's a trump supporter is like that what i am saying is that don't even look that

2:06:55 or cut in front of somebody or something like that, a construction worker and that guy's got three kids and he was told white men are over white Are you going to say salon.com next? But I think that's such an extreme perspective on it It just means that everybody's great. For sure. mercedes it's a white mercedes a guy's talking to another guy they're talking i can hardly

2:10:21 Like if you hear Black Lives Matter, just a, that's a fucking knee jerker and that might not have had to happen. Like I think sometimes almost ramp up double down on the racism double down on their xenophobia trying Everybody thinks they have a moral imperative. to behave because they're entrapped in a religious ideology that dominates their community.

2:12:42 Or, you know, there's a million different possibilities. But that's a possibility. So what, there's no like divine, it's just, you just got lucky that your parents ended up a little north. It's like if you're expressing fear, you're going to get a pushback. That we almost like you it has to come from the top No baby worked hard to get where they are.

2:15:21 All right. It's made of cashmere. I get where you're coming from. This is our guy. That's never happened. Somebody called him Cheeto Jesus. She's a high school freshman. that gesture and act like that guy is just dumb like as a guy running for president it just was Yeah. yeah have you ever seen like the the ice core samples of like what the earth used to be like

2:19:18 It's not what I'm saying. miles high of ice. Right. It'll all be done. He was the leader of that. this gardner he just he had he was very simple and people just made it ultimately made him president I think he just is what he is. Are you sure, though? I did. All of his jokes were about the, well, she's got these big things, so she'll be okay. during that show

2:22:34 Just mantra, the mantra, Yeah, but there's a, Maybe you'll be happier. Maybe you missed the happy spot. he became president. They've been talking. remember who had the original thought, but the president now mr trump please let them out please just you know let's find let's find a way No one in this country is going to go to jail for the rest of their life

2:25:26 We just pulled it up the other day. It was like 46% is he looking for that approval? We don't know how much in control he's going to be. You can just arrest people and detain them indefinitely. Yeah. You never know. What percentage of Americans do you think smoke marijuana? How dare they? 46%. It's like, how ridiculous. 43% said they have tried it.

2:28:57 Yeah, it's not that many, 43? I was in. Do you think that that is permanent, though? Yeah. Right now. Man's going to be president, right? I hope so. What if he can break down the structures? empowering the wrong people. Who knows? Elon can't do that. They were going to get the internet for the African kids so they could send the dick pics through the air.

2:31:59 Maybe. and how much of his businesses lose money. That's going to be the key. Yeah. Elon Musk calls out the fake news troll, called him a national disgrace. Chimeric. What does that word mean? Jamie, Google that word. Looks like a fucking little animal. Like a rat? There we go. This can result in male and female organs, two blood types, or subtle variations in form.

2:35:23 two major issues rose to the surface. His work is better than that. I don't think the fake article is up anymore. Something sticks. One of them is going to stick, right? I'm feeling it in my head, bro. I knew it. Yeah, and you just keep putting them out. One of them's going to stick, right? Oh, Jodie Foster. A pseudonym. shit about him pawning money off the government and eating pizza at this place where they

2:38:00 Oh. It's the biblical creation story of the stoner myth. pick it up, man. And I picked it up. I was like, Whoa, it's light like balsa wood, but hard like So this was solid. Todd's very, very smart. And you have to vote on it as a juror. and then popular science magazine had a cover that said, Hemp, the new billion dollar crop. The cotton gin. be like what the fuck are you talking about like that's that shit that wild tobacco type shit wow

2:42:09 Yeah. never able to separate it as a drug and a thing no because it's too close it's too closely related So I guess the issue would be you would have somebody that was pretending they weren't growing the psychoactive stuff and that they were only growing, but they were also selling it as a drug. And then that Is that it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I believe that's it.

2:44:21 then tweets something that's not true about him losing the popular But with that comes just a massive, massive responsibility. He was one of 40. I would say it's Merchants of Doubt, not Ministers. Total fail. It's like, is he brilliant or is he just crazy? The Taiwan thing, he just avoided it, just not talk about it. Like, what is he doing? What did he do, Taiwan was one call and this tweet is another thing. Yeah, I think it's that. It's just that. The Taiwan thing, he just avoided it, just not talk about it.

2:46:27 And you don't treat them the same way that you do greater China. shook that whole part of the globe let me just first of all start off with China sounds like a dicky friend. To me, that's everything. And nobody in Beijing gets to dictate who we talk to. But if you don't like somebody, it doesn't necessarily mean that I don't like them. You're never going to get anywhere.

2:48:59 shit he just want he dude he called me no no no mike's a piece of shit fuck him and his whole Fuck Mike. If I talk to them, we're going to war. Are we going to war? the whole Asia aspect of global policy at all. We're thinking about doing business. Like they had Vanderlei Silva come over and he faced off with Chuck Liddell. What they bought was essentially like a library of fights.

2:51:09 And as far as... They were going to run that business over there. Well, they got over there But they went over there, they bought this, they got this library, and then while they What the fuck is this? We got to deal with everybody. We're all going to communicate through Tesla hive mind because in the future, everyone's as they're driving and this headset connected to the Tesla as it drives around.

2:53:44 I really felt like an old man in a pot shop. Good for them. They didn't? We did already? That's what happens. You can watch it on your phone or your laptop or whatever. well online like you can check them out on yeah the website yeah for sure and uh and then it goes Kevin Smith tomorrow.