Joe Rogan Experience #90001 — Brian Redban Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Start record. Start broadcast. Shazam, bitches! Zoom, zoom, zoom, what's happening fuckers? The fucking ninth weekly one or something? Or, you know, at Target for like 20 bucks. Yeah, it's gritty. It's beautiful. But it's everywhere. Everybody's got weed. Oh, any? The weed is not very legal there. No. But it's everywhere. and he said, intelligent i mean they're like as intelligent as humans they're cousins of dolphins and and

3:33 It's not like the warning and just fucking ripped her up. everybody's cameras and shit This guy, he grabbed her about the waist and just started them, you know? It's really like, zo think it's cool to do that. And then we go and watch them. You know? for like hours at a time, but they don't have to breathe. howling this horrible howl and it wasn't a big cage this monkey was screaming out

6:09 going to africa and hunting down a white tiger you know right but is it worth it for them to help themselves, man. You should know that. You have Nature rewards them with some crazy rush of energy and endorphins when they kill something. bothers me, but what really bothers me The way they have it is nice. Places like the L.A. Zoo no they don't do that they don't ever do that they do that in Iraq there's a video in Iraq of

8:52 what they normally eat, man. I mean, like, You know what I mean? Like, look, a snake is a monster, Because those kangaroos we're doing the same thing. like a snake should kill its own prey and we should do it what... complex supposedly than animal consciousness because we have the ability to alter our you're supposed to do with someone like a mass murderer, if you're absolutely convinced,

11:25 Why keep them around? They should just line them up and like, oh, you need a new liver. where people were talking about organs the human body works. Yes, they're not the same anymore. Is it born with the same memories? But the heart is filled with neurons. they probably would have had that same exact dream with or without it. It sounds far-fetched, but it doesn't mean it's not true.

14:40 And that's the problem with skepticism. to someone They'll change the whole way and you watch the video intense experiences where i made sure like i am going to make sure that i record this one right but then the other day I was trying to think of somebody that I actually hung out with for three years when I was a kid and don't remember his face at all.

16:26 Why is it that someone can pull it back, though? and it woke up that section of memory or whatever. Look. and Anthony this week. Brian is actually funny comedian he's done stand-up a couple of times he did You got to be willing to – you got to be willing to – especially if you have a job during the day. You have a job I'm like, man, you got to be willing to put your whole life aside. You got to be willing to,

18:36 and you have to do it all the time. It is. It is hard. Fuck, man. brain surgeon you're fucking going to jail so it's obviously a lot more You know, online. to a person and comedy is no different or something like that I've tried to learn that though record uh recruiting like the the baddest motherfuckers in video games like yeah they But if you have a mouse, you can put a mouse, if you understand how quick, it all depends

22:59 We have them in line. It's pretty crazy how video games have exploded knee bars they get triangles they throw head kicks and punches flying knees and system where you interact with the game. incredible, because that's going to be fucking cool. the way you want it to. That's what you're trying to say. on the graphics. this gun. Come on man. That would be the

25:48 you put on this helmet yeah just turn right The Wii is like playing pool, You know, I want to click You're going around in your house. They should, like, send you an email. Everyone lives. yeah that shit's coming it's a total recall what was the one with the chick with the red hair they've already been able to like there's some sort of sensors that they hook up to your brain

28:27 That movie was dope. Put a computer in his brain or something. You're not allowed to do any other movies. that gays should be married. completely ridiculous because god wants things confusing who Who knows? But it gets to a certain point where And his girlfriend writes it in her blog and it's the same story. And then on top of it, the original Old Testament Bible was written in ancient Hebrew.

31:35 soon as they translated that to Latin and to Greek that shit was all gone that Do you know who Carrie Ann Pansche is or whatever her name is? They're fucked up in their head. abomination. Something's not right there. Just grabs it. lined up and we were like, okay, we're going to be i know they might be retarded now because of you they're all on my facebook too so hopefully they're

34:36 Because we were there on a Sunday, and they were talking about church. How about that? That's ridiculous. Right. if you want to do that, They love how they look. You know what I'm saying? of the body because they're so ashamed of the middle. Look how long my legs are. You want to go pierce your balls? ramsey case man that that shit disturbed still don't know the end of that case yet they don't

37:37 Braunschweizer. I did a documentary It'll be out Grab that thing off the wall real quick. Every day. you're not going to get too crazy you're not going to it's like my dr phil impression you know i'm has to be all the way up here you know it's fucking ridiculous you know i hate it and stuff like that. when I was doing it, And he was, like, all fucked up for, like, a long time.

41:04 Like he couldn't communicate with people, you know? That went great. Kiss your girlfriend. all well and good but there's some real shit in the world that the ego has to be there for and It's gonna make it very hard for you to function in Unless it can enhance you, the reality is we live in this world. It didn't damage my head. okay, that is a scary door that I opened up that just pretty much made

45:13 and sometimes you open up these doors, you're like, it becomes an escape. And I don't just want to escape all the time i've that like he's a fucking loser in this life because he's excited and puts all of his passion you were born and then one day someone said you know hey we've developed this new game that allows But the reason why we experience insecurities and anxiety and anger,

48:24 It's hard to keep your shit together. We distract the shit out of ourselves because the game of life is fucking hard to do, man. Yeah. Because they had put so much time into this fucking crazy game. That's exactly the same as life. He's starring in movies, But not everybody fucking the newspaper guy, It's like playing pool. I mean, he's capable of winning, when he's in stroke, capable of winning any tournament in the world.

50:52 The only time it's fun is when we play on a really, really tight table, It's not as fun as playing against a guy who's like your speed, Anyway, I believe that the Hunter S. quote is actually from Samuel Johnson, an English author. People that like to write in cursive. Right. And they have no fucking idea what it says. They've had like top encryption experts.

52:48 like glossolalia, really good writing, You know, and they found that uh that temple in turkey that is uh 7 000 years older than the pyramids a very complex stone temple carved out of stone and shit and now they have to like rewrite timelines for Egyptian culture is like 2500 BC. That's when they think like the pyramids were disaster. Like a meteor impact

54:47 He thinks much, much more likely these pyramids were probably like people were trying to duplicate other shit. And thousands of years of rainfall have cut deep fissures in the whole enclosure where the Sphinx is. This guy Ron Schock, who's a professor at Boston University, has got over a hundred professional No, that's before that. This dude is so addicted

57:15 That have not heard this story You know what I mean? poll believe in that that's the reality of it polls are never representative of anybody intelligent That's what that is. You know, I'm trying to be nice. The only time I do a poll Joe Beef? There's a guy, which is it? And I really like listening to him talk, and one of the things he said about this whole crossing the aquatic,

59:36 He says it happens all the time. It could be that 2012, what really happens is nothing happens. I didn't do a gig in 2000. It almost feels like it's quicker every year. Maybe this dimension is moving quicker. Thoughts on the zeitgeist movement. debunking Zeitgeist or something like that. and that Tower 1 and Tower 2 fell because they were detonated.

1:02:36 and fly another jet into it exactly the same way and see what happens and if it And look, the government does some nasty, evil shit. And it's really crazy to watch, man, you know, It was on fire and it had a hole in it from like debris and stuff and I could see it falling i'm like yeah i'm glad there's people that freak out about it and care about it.

1:04:42 I know. That's 100% fact. This is history. possibly kill American soldiers. They were going to blow up a jetliner and blame it on the Cubans. millions of people died from that earthquake in haiti but we didn't have an HD video fucking, you know, seeing it. I remember how everybody got so patriotic after that. It's like people are bowling up. I mean, unless you're one of those crazy motherfuckers that doesn't believe that it was a real plane.

1:08:08 Talking to people who claim to know. Why were there all the plane parts on the lawn? What's Fear Factor real? Born to Run? a fucking three hour I might sit through you know some of them Springsteen's songs. They have a lot of fucking albums. You walked in and you were like, We were in Tampa. with me and Ari in, dropping us off, he's like, well, if you guys are ever back in town,

1:10:25 What? Like, he gets to choose. no, I don't want to watch. You know, look, I'll put Dave's Insanity Sauce on burritos, and I'm sweating. Maybe it's not. Oh, no! And then she was talking about how she just the other day had two dicks in her ass. You guys know. That sounds just like Mr. Hands. You can watch the guy getting fucked by the horse. a bunch of times and nothing happened.

1:12:59 man, I do talk about fucking horse fucking now I have to stop so that's why I stopped in the boffins it was like shows. Thousands and thousands drunk and the next day I'm like I did not do it with Brock Lesnar. How about the one that made me realize I need to stop doing it was the one I did to Brock Lesnar. And I was so drunk. He could easily kick my ass right then and there.

1:14:27 wow I've never seen I boffaced David Lee Roth David Lee Roth I mean, like, he doesn't care. You were saying you can't wait until he dies so you can release it. It was basically just David Lee Roth talking about crazy road stories. All right, hold on.