Joe Rogan Experience #90002 — Brian Redban Transcript

Transcript

0:00 We're back. It was a mess, ladies and gentlemen. We tried to come back online. I was trying to put up an image of me and David Lee Roth and what the fuck ever. Firefox crashed on me. Yeah, I've been crashing a fucking lot with Firefox. though. a white thing on my It's just a little window I opened. Yeah. Firefox does blow. You. Dr. Oz. Dr. Oz is a real doctor, right? Dr. Phil? Yeah.

2:00 Oh, it's the same guy over and over again. Guess what, douchebag? I think that's a lie. Everybody gets viruses on PCs. Just that alone it's It's like the Republicans versus the Democrats. That's all that shit is. How dare you. All right, I got the picture of David Lee Roth. Because this picture of David Lee Roth was like, what was it, like from 2005?

4:51 back together with All right. I know. Try out chat roulette. and then... to some fucking magical place where only girls exist they have all girl teachers and shit and you know, like that Hmm. and see if the guy Yeah, what it is So it would only work on the guys fuck out from the beginning. Right. So it would only work and then going, We just had the girl going,

7:47 The freaky weird dudes are mostly straight. Of course you're more repressed. Gay people, there's a lot of crazy fucking gay people. hot about it and so they go and have unprotected sex on purpose hoping to get HIV that's fucked up you know, like, oh, he's not doing anything. But he was saying, I forget the term that the Dalai Lama used, You like doing it?

10:14 Science? eating pussy gives you cancer. Oral sex. Yeah, but that goes both ways. March 9th, 2007. 4.43 but we were down for 10 minutes It's the same dude every week. Dallas this weekend, Addison Improv, three nights, almost sold out. So if you want to come to Dallas, by the time we get on the radio, when we get on the radio, it's going to sell out quick.

13:09 I just thought of what I want to get covered up on mine. You want to go with me? No, you have to go to a clinic that does it. No, tell that story. he's teaching me every And it originally was supposed to be an Egyptian turtle with my name in Chinese or the letter R Chinese, in the middle of the turtle in Chinese. let me see your tattoo. That's an R in Chinese, my last name, blah, blah, blah blah blah she goes that's not an r she's that's like

16:08 50 hours. So we're going to do Brian's. Hi, Flappo! I've never done a bump in my life. That place is awesome. Anyway, Ever. but uh he was uh selling it and um when he was uh doing that he lost all this weight and he fucking I didn't like it. But the next day was so bad. It might have been like, they say that people a Starbucks and I was trying to read a magazine and I was like, I can't read the next day, man. Literally, I was sitting in a Starbucks, and I was trying to read a magazine,

19:25 the next day they feel fine it just depends how much like strychnine's in it and stuff like that the fact that you get to go these places and experiment with all these different G-U-R-U tattoo. When you go to get Joey, his room stinks of weed. I don't like being completely obliterated every day. What is it? UFC. So the way it always works is whenever i'm in town for a

22:35 And I didn't know what, I thought I was taking a nap. I'd try to go back to sleep again. Me and Eddie and Tom Segura, Was drinks cheaper or more expensive? Or it might be the opposite. Like, motherfucker. Was there anything in Australia me and Eddie and Tom, They're all the same. Huge. Yeah, it was a great UFC. They love American comedians over there,

25:34 out but 99 of the people had a great fucking time but yeah it was pretty wild crazy show No, I never felt that. You had like small little bedrooms almost on the plane, drink a lot of water, get drunk again, recover. You had small little bedrooms almost like, I don't know, Yeah go on How dumb are you? he probably ruined Southwest so much attention but they lost the fat dollar

27:56 They were thinking about making you take a shit before you flew Oh, my God. Yeah, that kind of makes sense. Yeah. The last of the terrestrial radio stations in LA. we have some interesting conversations. I was like, Yeah. So I might just go back and no, what if you came there he got jacked going on can dogs see color maybe they just see darkness don't dogs see in black and white

30:34 in the bank now It's Conan O'Brien. what? Put that on after Conan O'Brien. because with Conan's on, he can do You watch it on your fucking DVR or you see it on see it on youtube who cares we're gonna 11 30 or 12 30 it's 12 30 is better that's right to fuck off He's nuts. Yeah, he would be a good side guy. is that they believe that the way the law is presented is that you can give weed away

33:43 Fuck you. People would still grow and sell weed. $500, $600 an ounce for like really powerful, potent weed, you know, If marijuana was legal and you could grow your own, which is how it should be, charge him. And the way it works Well, I mean, if you go and get a license, you're allowed to grow, what, seven plants or something like that? But they can get that license.

36:23 But right now, the rate is so high that But right now, I have wheat whenever I want to have wheat. It's not Tums, bro. You don't think? It's the best at... You know, it's great for a lot of different things. companies are responsible for oxycodone, Vicodin, Percocet, all that shit. I still don't think it's You could eat it. I mean, it has all the the fact that it's still illegal that's fucking insane man as you stream laggy

40:01 Oh, really? Oh, they did. and the best weed is $3,200 a pound. I know what's worth more than gold. but hash lasts longer. It's the resin. it burns really yeah it's it's kind of I don't know, like a hash kind of marijuana was more expensive than Damn with the Ustream. Brian's cat had a hangnail and that got him to start smoking again. take it anymore.

42:52 I need a cigarette. Look at this guy. Dude, it's like that. They love magic and nonsense. Boom! They used to have opium dens back in the Wild West. But opium never was like that. things being addictive Especially our age. Yeah, man. You get crazy. You pay for it the next day though. Especially our age. Some people have to have a drink. He was there every fucking day, 7 in the morning, swinging that hammer.

45:34 But when he drinks, he likes to have a cigarette. it can be three years later and out of nowhere you'll start smoking again. Like hundreds of different additives. than anything yeah like apparently if you if you have that thing inside you that gets you hooked It was Peter Pan of... okay, shipped right over here it was kind of addictive to me Well, sometimes I'm having like a normal day.

47:58 I want to clean my office. You would never stop talking. So it's like cocaine, the plant that they make cocaine from. They chew this leaf. and we were in the middle of the desert I mean that's really what it was like. Who's like. This is driving me crazy. And he was laughing uncontrollably and just think so clear. He had a cigarette right when we started, too, by the way.

50:59 Okay. Really? to make you fucking mortgage your house for extra cigarettes you might start hoarding cigarettes What the fuck is he talking about? He's like the chicks. No, no, no. They're just, for whatever in the cigarettes? Of course they would. Fuck yeah, they would do it. They don't give a Pull it all together with alcohol. I don't have a problem with it.

53:56 They do do that with cigars. I don't know, a tree or something. It gives you a buzz. Yeah, you do. where it showed I always thought the people who were doing that were like Bill Clinton. What the fuck? Wiki answers. What if you do not inhale marijuana? Do you have to inhale when smoking weed? Because I'm a goddamn comedian. No, because I was on Let's see. This guy says

57:36 We're not talking about cancer, you fuck. This guy, Yahoo answers. marijuana too you know you don't inhale the cigar smoke you take it in your mouth and then you blow But I think he probably got too high and he got paranoid. and go to my room are you hip? erp one of those movies buffalo bill or wyatt erp i think it was i don't remember who the Val Kilmer's all fat

1:00:14 like the old days, You know this whole Arrowhead. Mouth smoking cannabis. Before I do this, I will take this copy. Mm-hmm. California weed. Yeah, but I used to, I remember there was somebody I used to know and I'm like, wow, she's not stoned, Thanks, rivalries. Makeham, Georgia, I believe. You know, some members to my message board, this nutty message board

1:03:37 And anyway, this message board, there's so much fucking nutty shit on that board. if you're looking for a video, That's two hours, two and a half hours. And I'm going to put that on Twitter so everybody knows There was a problem with the House of Blues initially where they said the House of Blues could not seat everybody. Like sitting and watching a show is awesome, but standing and watching a show sucks.

1:05:49 through the opening act or whatever, opening band, security grabbed my girlfriend coming blues as a company yeah it, it is House of Blues. It was just like the biggest fucking corporate bullshit. So you think that if we have a show at the House of Blues, people might get fucked? in the audience. You're not allowed to record your own They're going to do that regardless, though.

1:07:38 You had a bad experience, but I think you had isolated douchebags. We also know it the House of Blues Why did I read that? Yeah, that's kind of fucked up. Like a Bud Light was $6 or something like that. Yeah. the answer There's often a great deal of uncertainty in tracking word origins that like writing professionally, like when I write in my blogs, I read exactly the way I talk,

1:10:17 And I wrote it the way I talk with swears and just the way I normally talk. pothead comedian slash cage fighting commentator murky, it could be both. I think cigarettes are disgusting. Exactly. Don't be racist, bro. They want to be called Persians. He's going to go down in history. You know, the heavyweight division long ass show. It's 5.44. Oh, Canada.

1:13:15 I love you, bitches. Bye.