Joe Rogan Experience #903 — Tony Hinchcliffe & Brian Redban Transcript

Transcript

0:00 the joe rogan experience train by day joe rogan podcast by night all day Cyborg outside. I was like, what? A Fire Stick, an Amazon one? right to that and it plays on the tv how in the fuck does that work because like your apple tv Yeah, there's ESPN1 and ESPN2. And then from that one fight on, it was all on ESPN 3. Oh, that's how that works. They're all Mexican. All the white people

3:10 Oh, good call. like some big mexican guy and some sound the same. There's always some big Mexican guy You are the worst racist ever. I had an ex-gardener who used to fight chickens. Oh. They were fucking stacked on top of each other, Whoa. Something like that. Bird fighting. Animal fights, like dog dog fights but much more so Well, the Mexicans eat chickens too, dude.

6:47 angeles and it was always so weird at like six in the morning how many like are you hurt like it was with a big group of comedians and we know maybe his clock's off he took a nap earlier in the day he jump the gun. Yeah. He'd be the guy who jumps the gun. Three in the morning bomb. Yeah. They want to have their feet on something. Like their feet are designed for that.

9:16 Depends on the time of year. i eat a lot of eggs everybody eats eggs we eat eggs and eggs are not bad for you that's a fucking long-standing myth that someone concocted Not only is cholesterol not bad for you, it depends on what kind of cholesterol. But dietary cholesterol, more than eating things with cholesterol. Do you know trans fats, in the next three years,

11:24 Find us some shit with trans fats in it. Saturated fat is good for you. causing all sorts of premature death and diseases. And it's not an exaggeration. This is like a subject that has been like gnawing at me for years now. It's a crazy, crazy subject. Sugar is what's bad for you. Well, what's weird is if you see those photos that you saw a long time ago from like the 1920s and the 1930s, you don't see anyone fat.

13:33 And they did it when we were growing up. That's insane. Oh, too bad. Breakfast sandwiches? I want one right now. It's just a little. Yeah, you got to make it fresh. 101 and uh barham same thing vegan pancakes that are banana blueberries and you can taste whatever it is, you know what I mean? and it's impossible to do on the road. Yeah, it was just a nightmare.

17:08 and then, you know, you're, you know. you would just be raving about how much energy you have and how healthy you are like that's one thing that back then and i started writing on the roast back then and i had a little bit of money and things You saw his first bite of meat? No, I was never that way. it was i've never done like real steroids but i'd imagine that's exact. I felt like a fucking animal, man.

19:35 but and then he's like he's like 70 something years old and i'm like how does how does he have like a why do you like an extra charge to it why do you think that is do you know really healthy Well, you can get some places that serve it. You look at those scenes, those landscapes, when you watch The Hobbit, you go, my God, where is this? Waterfalls and everything is green and lush.

21:54 a bunch of them. They used to have an eagle it was the biggest eagle ever and there was a lot of speculation that it preyed on humans I think it only lived on New Zealand as far as we know. It's two two to three meters that's about three meters that's nine that's nine feet i'm full of Oh, dude, I'm all vape pens these days. Don't they have pandas there?

23:46 Yeah, pretty much. They do a lot of raping New Zealand is sure, I'll take a hit of that, she's like, this does not taste like any other kind of meat. Because you've got to kill them. What market hunting is is after the Civil War and actually even before that, they didn't have refrigerators, man. ah i knew it was coming he prepared. There should be a subscription box service

26:19 you cannot sell wild realized that we have all this incredible land Franklin and Teddy. Franklin. the people in his era. They looked at all this amazing land and they realized, we can't let this go away. This is really important. giant chunks of land that no one can buy It's just a pure meat. It's pure. And you're eating an animal that's eating what it's supposed

28:30 Yeah, the only way. It's smart. a giant issue in a lot of parts of the Midwest where they took these animals, because they were grass eaters they're supposed to be out there eating wild vegetation that's the production of processed foods It probably won't taste the same for the same reason why a cow doesn't taste the same if it eats grass. You've gotten to hang out with him, huh?

31:04 No, no, no. He knows. Oh, for sure. I never trained every day. Wasn't his lady? He's a very, very, very smart guy. It really fucking is because he's somehow able to really tap into that culture Yeah. And I like it a lot better. I'm doing less theaters than ever because I'm like uh I have more fun at clubs like it's I like Whereas those theaters, a lot of it is really fun.

34:37 You know what I mean? Is there a Juggle Hut, by the way? That's what everybody says. comics and club owners. And then you think they're not giving you enough because you sell too many tickets then eventually you realize somewhere along the line i think hopefully Bill Burr? Bill Burr going to open up a fucking laugh factory? structure yeah figure out a way to make them all feel the same and i don't think that's it

37:19 ancient headshots in the world on the wall where half the people are dead yeah you know love that Look what happened in Houston. They had Kinison and Hicks. to call themselves. yeah it was amazing they did an entire festival in like it's this multi-roomed rooms that sort of proves my point you need a club yeah. Because the Houston scene, they opened up an improv there.

40:19 One of the things about the really good places is you can actually start out there and then work. time. We've got to paint this room black because we're going to do more of these. We're going to which are so bright That's the move, right? this is like tell me the codes this is verse 48 this is that room where people fuck up don't talk Yeah. It's like when they don't break, you're even more amazed.

42:57 which should be, by the way, totally illegal. and about the interrogation thing i'm on the tarmac the delay was four hours and i was literally Nobody's dying from this drought. Yeah, Atlanta. They said that 18 people died in Atlanta or whatever that was, but I looked it up and Maybe that's one of those towns that was literally wiped off the map by tornadoes.

45:13 after photo. It might not be Jasper. I forget what the name of I thought they would come down and just fuck up a few houses. like go fuck yourself there was a part there's a member the part where helen hunt gets out when Those F5s are the ones. fucked up. But look, that's the town. I think. Is that as high as it gets? Oh, is that the one in Bel Air?

47:19 It comes with a helicopter. mean it's like just sticks it's insane this house comes with a 30 million dollar car collection too Yes or no? on this place for the night on one night There's some royal family members that are worth trillions of dollars. oligarchs these they they have monarchies they have these fucking gigantic piles of wealth that and one little hooker

49:57 this is what he would do. and just in slippers and just slide across the room like he was in that scene with tom cruise And he was like, so what? crazy now you think he wears a condom? I wonder if they have to get tested. inside the pyramids it looks like a sunglass hut in glendale everything is gold dude you And that's all from oil money. him only $4 billion, he would start crying.

52:42 of catastrophic wealth we we are so sheltered from the true avocado late night. Your How many Ferraris does he have? He's like, I want to fly you out for a week. I can't. He probably bought 300 new ones. Or next time I go, come with me. It's filled with cars. He put these things. He drives all his cars around Burbank all the time. whereas Seinfeld is like

55:52 Whereas with Jay Leno, I brought my Corvette on Jay Leno's show. These are custom. you son of a bitch you son of a bitch that was always more of a letterman guy he's way better I don't know this band. He really do. He's got like 11 cars that are worth more than a million dollars. And is it true, It's all corporate gigs. a gig they're flying him out there in a private jet he does the gig he comes back he does the

58:33 balling! yeah you don't want to be friends with somebody that's that powerful because if you're like, you don't want somebody doing upstairs at the Ding Dong show right now Well listen dude, you wouldn't be that guy. You're the whole thing up. He doesn't know internet. Listening to the live stream right now. Well, listen, dude, you wouldn't be that guy.

1:00:20 Got it. Must be wild. he probably has food shipped to him every day so he gets to choose what he wants and it's always be vegan. Why would you think was trying to write after ramadan they have a three day i don't know if you would have called a festival or something but they allow it says They eat everything, including each other. You know when we have bases in other countries?

1:03:24 feast, everyone gets a cake. Jerizium. They used to have some crazy-ass words. Why do you have to use so many noises? The noise I make for my spot? Greedy-ass sound user. How big is Czechoslovakia? Why? Because Because there's not a lot of Z's in it. that whole fucking they are so pissed i bet that guy has to hide this is my shit what do i do you see his new one no you're gonna die i heard there's a scene in it

1:07:36 i'll never forget this one where they they they uh had this big hand on uh a spring yes that would just different than the shit they were really pulling at this level so anything in which yeah they're like 200 pound wild dogs that crush bones of their teeth and they're playing keep of like explaining like you know we didn't know what we we met this one guy who has the world's

1:10:12 You see his nails and he has a bottle of Miller Lite. screaming. even gets there. Oh my God. stole dave's beer he heckled him the three times stole three beers stole my last call like i got I don't know why. Was he always that way? And I think he has like a real issue, man. In terms of like he gets it and fucked up they shouldn't do it again you know they should have kicked him out yeah they totally

1:14:21 same time he's licking somebody's arm that he's with just licking their I think everybody has their own individual answer for that. does start drinking, I think it's a genetic thing too, man. But I'm not, like, going, I need a fucking drink. And you just go, fuck. Off to the races. Starbucks has this new Nitro We have those caveman ones. He's also fucking 250 pounds, you know, so it's got more room to distribute over his body.

1:17:35 why people who use it for performance enhancing purposes they like to not use caffeine during the gone yeah it's over i went to that a buddy i thought he was dying for a second after smoking We do it all the time, so it's normal. I am a confessed cannabis addict. if I smoke it, it's back to baseline. or I lose my train of thought. I actually remember everything I did that night.

1:20:30 There's no doubt about that. with him a few times but this time it was after i roasted him and i'd hung out with him the day And ever since then, he inspired me to smoke more weed. You guys would, crossing the streams What is it? One of the roast jokes that I did on Snoop When it cuts back, Right, whether I'm writing or just whatever I have to do or book or whatever responsibilities I have, it's on.

1:23:31 It works for me but just changing things a little bit, I got a storage unit, and I put everything in the storage unit. No, no, no. washing herself and poop Yeah. people but like if that was in texas and some storage unit owner walked by he'd be like San Francisco's the worst when it comes to that. Did you have blood in there or did you just think that's funny?

1:26:35 just wandering around anywhere in any one location that i have in san francisco it seems like they're Never. no. no, 50 of them voted for Hillary, what in the fuck? even really, they don't really know how many, but she says they think somewhere around, I think You think this all came from the grab the pussy stuff? and his whole I just don't like hearing him talk, man.

1:29:40 You didn't vote for president? Even though I knew he didn't know it. But it's never a throwaway. Most people predicted that. and uh i'm i don't think i'm not a big fan of trump i'm not a big fan of any i'm not a big fan Came out to support Trump. If you have 20 million people in Los Angeles and you got less than a million, I can feel it. Yeah. But it's crazy.

1:33:05 You know that's not true. has to knowing that these people like all you you know you just got in you haven't done anything He's willing to change his mind on things if the people are vehemently against his decisions. because he freaks out and then they don't Yeah, you know what? My friend Jason Hairstonon he's the guy who owns know what's up it could also just be the photo there could be like a big Brian

1:36:14 jason hairston j-a-s-o-n uh m-h-a-i-r-s-t-oN. So this is a photo that he took himself. Yeah, they have sky view of it. Okay, okay so his photo does it represent what this is how i'm saying there's gaps though Now people are leaving. It does. I mean, there's still a fuckload of people, man. there were a lot more people out of work. when Bush was inaugurated

1:38:57 It shows they're all in the shape of a skull. Probably. A lot of people. A lot of those women that were marching, they're marching in the rain. Lying of the size. When the fucking White House minister of propaganda sounds like that guy from Baghdad, remember the beginning of the war? It's such a bad... It's like when the war started that was He was the minister of propaganda for Iraq before we invaded.

1:42:12 This guy? He looked like Saddam Hussein. You saw it on the internet? But what I'm saying is this Baghhdad bob guy this is essentially what the You can't start off a relationship with the American people with a big, fat, juicy lie like that. Did you see it? When people turn it into the Bane thing, shit when everybody knows that's what Bain said. Give it back to the people.

1:44:35 Why not? yeah we got a problem um president trump were you watching batman with heath ledger last night A guy that married a call girl. and now he's a guy and a former escort, and they still run it, are making out of horses, and then they thing that a university cnn is hot dog shit if you're wondering like the fakest terrible news but it says I like PBS and Reuters.

1:48:12 And it says that The Economist, The Guardian, The Atlantic, and The Wall Street Journal clear, without all your word fillers fillers like on his face i'm up. He didn't want to say a word. Fillers? and she just decided not to do it anymore. decided this is going to be like my project for the night. I'm going to see what the left is saying pussy video and like it was all concentrating on that and that's another crazy thing about this

1:51:17 Bottom of everything. In fact, he went to battle for it. He's just insane. Yeah. He's always been a great ranter. got like him and dan patrick there i think they were both banned from ESPN facilities. I'll look it up so I can tell you real quick. And I feel like some of the controversy was like, What the fuck? You get your respect for that non-stop every single care about this Trump thing. I do just because I have to hear about it nonstop every single day,

1:55:00 But you do give a shit about Trump, though. to me. It's like, what do you want them to do? this criminal for deleting those emails and they would just go crazy about it but the and like people are like oh that's unfit to be a president. But what? Our last, I mean, our last great president got his dick sucked in office, in the Oval Office by an intern.

1:56:56 clinton got his dick sucked while being the president we're talking about a recording on I hear it. I know he did it. with them. That was like his first problem. suspended him for a little bit against penn state supporters after the sandusky trial yeah why what Dude, Well, they're supposed to be a security guy up there. Yeah, but there's people that work here

1:59:18 But what's half of the fun of this place? I told him to try to get someone to watch the door more than anything supposed to stay and not uh not let people down and also like that's a crazy staircase there's They want to go behind the bar. with a ridiculous amount of i'm having to move back home my mom's sick so i gotta go take you know that is the worst when

2:01:49 you still have to you mean a shortcut to make it as a comic yeah but i guess but i but i think this network you're working with your peers right and your friends yeah that's yeah there's there's that I'm sure a lot of people did because it's one of only four great shows. like that kind of shit, about favors and bullshit. There was a lot of fucking really bad writers back in the day

2:04:17 But he's lazy and doesn't do much and sort of just gets to phone it in He's just puking it out of his head, laughing. really apparent and it's also one of the weird things about comedy writers is got to be some funny people you're working with too. Totally. Totally. But there, those people normally, they just write and they just are comedy writers and you just go,

2:06:54 in another writer's room making writer's guilt. Who's the character? What would he do? funny and said, what the fuck am I doing with this guy? What? and uh i met with the guy i was like the script and it was the worst piece of shit I've ever read. But they gave this cat a gigantic network deal, and you have to realize, nope, this is a terrible concept.

2:10:10 And he just gets laid. I'm fucking, You write them out. Is it even half? And not ever practicing. It's on Netflix. It's like a six-part show. Maximum overdrive. Son of a bitch. That one guy is responsible for so much iconic entertainment. You've got to talk right into the microphone. oh wow yeah it's a movie didn't they have it a multiple part mini series

2:14:03 he was the clown right wasn't he and do you know Tim Curry. Tim Curry. He was the clown, right? No one really talks about that either. You don't know who that guy is? And it also affected, he can't, I think he can't sing anymore. Makes really lucid points. you know where you plug something in, it doesn't work. all these cells in there, and every Tim Conway, alive and kicking. I love that guy. Yeah, Conway and Steckler. He's 83. Tim Conway, alive and kicking.

2:16:36 He would have a great podcast, that guy. Well, there you go. I'm like, this is great. They just talk. Oh, he does the morning show. Apple Dumpling Gang. The movie. They like that a lot, or whatever it's called? Yeah, they loved that. I wasn't a fan of the new one. Brian says no. You know, where they're like, yeah, let's makethought 3D. You know, like, we were there like,

2:19:18 I just need to sleep. you and they're like, I'm sleepy too. John Wick 2. Oh, that's that M. Night Shyamalan with Ding Dong movie? But the movie itself was pretty interesting. I'm like, I'm going to watch the devil's in the elevator, man. they find out there's planes flying over their head. okay and the way this is experiment the way they protect this experiment planes didn't fly over it

2:21:48 It's like people dressed like monsters. in cash in his house and he's some old old vietnam vet so let's do that. And then they go, don't say anymore. Okay. Spoiler alert. Yeah. There's a zombie movie that I think was made in England. I am your president. He's like, that's it. They take the LBGT page out.BGT. They take everything from everybody's thing

2:24:22 Like what he decided to remove and not replace. Like, a lot of this stuff, by the way, that's happening is stuff that is a very regular thing. Look how much money he made Mobile X on. And Exxon, they got cock-blocked by Obama. that and they wanted to drill this pipeline right under the river. And if it blew, which they do all the time, if it goes bad, this whole river system gets totally poisoned.

2:27:22 and he didn't freak out he had to have been aware he had to know that these people are they're protesting a very you mean earthquakes well we didn't uh uh anticipate this but apparently when you frack and drill holes That's what we're doing. like places like yellowstone like all these places where you can go and hike and camp and fish and but when they start talking about

2:30:04 We did enough. Say bye. Who knows? eyes? You come. Where am I going? San Antonio has an improv? Oh, yeah. some other shit, go to DeathSquad.tv. And the Kill Tony we did today Dirty hippie comic. And we filmed tonight in vr so