Joe Rogan Experience #940002 — Joey Diaz Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Get out of Orange County. There's too many fucking momos in Colorado. Bunch of fucking boozers up there. Gunderson. And so there's all this thought that there's some sort of subterranean tunnel system. Nobody said nothing. too stupid to even know what a conspiracy theory is. threshold. Well, Norad is there, so there's got to be some That's what they call it.

1:56 It used to be 25 minutes. They built this monster to just, you know, So if you got to make a left, That's the thing about that. Like one guy's got a fucking gas mask on with a giant sword. Do you think you're putting the two together? except the people out in these shelters, bunker thing. It's out in the middle of fucking They'd taken this fucking tour of these

4:16 Listen, just live your fucking life. After 1960, those we can come out and we got vitamin C from the fucking Tang. They're lying to the people just like everything else. They're lying and eggs. God bless them. There's radiation in Florida Fucking nasty radiation. They're oiled up. than what they're saying. with six fucking eyes Maybe that's 2012. They can pretty much live through anything.

6:42 Let's see what's up. We're in this fucking place. Osama Bin Laden. U.S. intelligence source CIA is operating inside Libya to help US increase military and political understanding And you don't even see them No. He gets to move quicker than you like super lag all of us lost our mind go fucking crazy in my life. that love watching martial arts? shit we got now as bombs and stuff is off the charts.

9:41 Happy birthday. It gets up to a fence, and lands on the other side. That's what they do. the United States is jacking this guy. People go, what are you talking about? We want to take over a country so we can eat coincidence that for whatever reason Mexico's got some crazy motherfuckers down there. Mexico has decriminalized everything had billions of dollars and was way

13:05 It's not going to happen. They'll give them a beat. Ted Nugent lives in Waco now. And that's where he got all his food from. you're living in the woods. Kinky? Yeah, we're going to have a good fucking time. Girls have dirty feet up there. I usually can find one string. There's too many humans here. She'll let you talk all that nonsense. So I just, every time we're there, I'll just bring home flowers and shit.

16:18 bringing flowers home. See? You just train And I've been up there like four times. She was from all the way up in Boulder. You had her 90 fucking miles, dog. was that there was There's a more relaxed vibe. fuck you're talking to a realtor again are you ready talking to a realtor about it you gotta And you just need to move to Texas. More land. Anything can happen.

18:24 There's one place in Denver where there's fucking seven of them on a street. Bing, bing, bing, here bro It's just how They're everywhere There's one place in Denver Or I get headaches Yeah It was like a gift shop selling weed in Boulder is supposedly, Because that's just the most ridiculous shit I've ever heard. This shit ain't even necessary. I forgot to bring a bud.

19:45 Did Ari give it to you? Bring it back and spark it, kid. And we had a Saturday night there for a one-nighter for Tribble. And I'm just freaking because Oregon got some deep weed. 200 retarded ones and their parents. boys, are the strongest motherfuckers And Jody's got He starts dancing with him and he starts grinding with him and Jody thinks it's cute and all

21:58 Three fucking black gorillas and he's just pushing them. They had to throw him on the fucking floor when you show them. They couldn't control this little 12-year-old. Bananas. I wonder if that's what people instinctively want to do. I'm sweating like Joe Rogan's house without the electricity. What do you do? That's one of the weird things about people that are retarded or Down syndrome or whatever.

23:59 they're lazy like they have an issue there's a mental issue mental imbalance whatever the You know what I mean? So the whole time they're just like, Yeah, there's varying degrees along the way that are, you know, I mean, It's a fucking crazy thing, man, to have your mind impaired. I don't know what he's doing. I don't know what's going on up there.

25:43 We feel bad when people have autism. They can't see through walls. All that Sicilian shit. with the hockey stick and he'd go ayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayay Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I would dial after him. He was an immigrant to the back.

27:01 Some people just have this insane work ethic. But when you're in America, dude, holy shit. they appreciate the fact and I'm in school I woke up on 89th Street and Riverside Drive. I can't even fucking start to tell you. I go, how fucking lucky am I that I don't remember the plane ride from Cube. It's not just a piece of fucking rag. they have a scene in the beginning of Scarface

30:02 You don't know what it is to look at that flag overseas? Don't you love America? Yeah. We never see both sides together, gentlemen. That's the other side of that flag that we're never able to see. And that's just not going to happen. Even though you're this old cunt living in some fucking castle with billions of dollars. But that's the reality of it.

32:03 The other side of that flag is a business guys Alex Jones talks about whether it's true and I've seen what politics is at a minute level. Isn't macro smaller than micro? Yeah, micro, macro stop right now, and I'm not kidding. done that on Twitter, though. Can you imagine if there was just on the Twitter. and how we are trying and shit like that. Like, to sit down and pretend that it's real is insulting.

34:46 I mean, come on, man. They have the people that are regulators eventually shit and got away with it and the only one who got popped is that them the most accountable in like a couple of years these banks went in and just fucking just created They lived a life of, you know, relative prosperity. What is this bailout? Have you seen the size of the bonuses?

37:39 Do you take no personal responsibility? So when the bank fucking fails, we're going to limit it can't just step in go cut the shit are you fucking crazy no you can't get is a city that the fucking guys They had been jacking millions. Like, how is this school? Yeah. I don't understand because they was spending his wife had a fucking shot in the car.

40:09 They're borrowing a knife to stab this guy in the a sick fucking movie right there. later. When she was screaming at Ray Liotta still with his wife and he's got her when he gets to that scene, and he snorts, He taps into the coke. When he's standing there with his helicopter and you know it's fiending for the coke. And he comes He just passes out. Yes, when he was in the car and he thought it was over.

42:48 Uh-huh. But in your mind, it becomes Of course. You're a fucking terrorist. You're probably fucking hookers think he does coke of course you're a fucking terrorist he's but there was a guy called Nadir? Carlos. Lader. Carlos Lader. Yeah. he was actually getting cameras like Brian does, And finally, the Medellin cartel got their hands on this. Yeah, the Napoleon cartel gave him up.

44:45 saying and he would like she'd be bleeding And then one of the meddling cartel You saw Cocaine Cowboys, right? They got pictures of her in Columbia at the airport, They got this guy who's her hitman who's in jail, Those fucking Colombians, they used to shoot anything, bro. 2 to 12 and put bullets in them you know you owe us fucking money. We're going to shoot you.

47:00 That's just like what's going on in Mexico. But in Mexico, it's not the same, man. plomo, Plomo, plata. Plomo. Plomo's bullets? Plomo. Plomo or plata. Remember that shit? There's no no. Hey, bro, 1984, December 12th of 1984, and I didn't know what happened. Some white dude.