Joe Rogan Experience #96 — Kevin Pereira Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience i get a wave of guilt and sin and and filth that washes over me every time I climax. Cheers. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Gentlemen, here's to mulligans. You gotta tap, Joe. I'll choke myself out before I tap. about to break off. Bro, Two Knuckles Deep, training really mad i did not know that he can get three knuckles wow that's incredible

3:12 Do you think there was a lot of assholes stretching and spitting in assholes? Is that what it's called? allegedly. I don't doubt it. which explains a lot. They can get, I mean, we do a what the fuck segment on our show Have you ever seen the Minion? Well, that was always the charm of Ron Jeremy, right? intense levels that have never existed before i mean at first it was seen as this bastion of hope

6:05 No, pink lab. You fucking ugh. There's a lot of dudes. And I always say, aspire to be the man that you pretend to be when you're trying to get laid. The M setting. I believe that they're crying about it. that I do recently. Watch when he does it. oh, you know, It's amazing how reliable those things are. hundred thousand miles that thing's done all right you get bearings are blown and fucking

9:10 Well, the 911 Turbo that I had was like somewhere around the same, like 420 horsepower. Yeah. You can drop it into first, shut off traction control. screams and you'll break your neck that's badass how'd you find out about that internet oh it's I mean, what Nissan was bragging about was their zero to 60 time was ridiculously low, look like baby sneakers on wheels. It's not a good standout, right? Yeah. It's an. Smart cars stand out because they look like baby sneakers on wheels.

11:19 They're not ready. It's like it's on track. germans and japanese i don't you can't point fingers now with the internet everybody's into Oh, no, no, no, we have a whole category of that. just a lube run, special taste. and they had a whole Like maybe there was some crazy shit going on. like you know like what's that that that hotel where they have a girl in the glass box behind the checkout uh that's on sunset have you ever seen that yes

14:38 with you they don't look at you and smile and wave because that would be so anti-la right in la no Yeah. Glassy-eyed. Allegedly. legitimizing myself. And this might be a nudge in one direction. You think so, man? I think it's a there's an elasticity to life and it makes you bounce in the other way and it's like you know So if we're talking about Shizer porn and BMWs, so be it.

17:12 Yeah, the way you're getting the content is going to matter in five years. But then if you don't use advertisers, I mean isn't that what motivates it? Well, they have in common these people organized on the Internet in a way that was never possible before. And it was actually right before Egypt happened. flipped and there goes your internet where we have no idea how much of crises and and and political overthrowing of governors and of you know fucking warlords and and and mayors and we have no idea

19:13 dictatorships throughout the world, including Wasn't there a point? rest of the world, if I didn't know, if I wasn't American and I didn't know that, you know, most of Let's talk about anything else. It's mind-numbing. What's going on in Iraq where no one is mentioning the fact that literally a million people are dead over there. Killing funding for Planned Parenthood and early education. Because we have to do some serious cuts. Yeah, we have to focus on the important things, killing funding for Planned Parenthood and early education.

21:36 Like those dolphins died yesterday? But, you know, it doesn't mean that it's the end of the world. And then we eventually just by virtue of our design, we get to a point of laziness and Right. Fucking you, you hoarding two. Yeah, or both, right? old school yeah no matter what you do i met some of those guys i met a group of ex-vietnam vets in all the weed, dog.

23:18 after it was legal state-wise. And are they doing it legit? Yeah. holy to the mouth. I love the cause Are you claiming it's medicine? I agree with you. Sativa benoit balls? Sativa Benoit balls. is Neuro Soup is going to happen, like how the government is going to get involved. And I think the government's just going to release, hey, we have internet too.

25:59 How important is the message to people that we need to keep the internet free? broadband, not going to fuck with it, bro. And they're pretending like, My concern isn't just over control of bandwidth and stuff like that. and people will go to it, and then it gets, oh, hey, check this out, and virally it spreads. No pun intended. 80% of the shit I read online is like someone tweets me stuff.

28:35 and yet i'd say what seven percent of internet users take advantage of that you know and that's Oh, that website where you can go and see all the articles that are up there? Each body was bandaged in a major, it's hard to read that, it's a little bloggy, to the blackout Yeah. Yeah, someone said something. or Admiral, whatever the fuck his title is,

31:03 He might have some crazy fucking story in his head where that guy didn't do it he might have some crazy That was like of weather balloon wreckage. Some shenanigans took place. That's pretty good. The SETI one takes like 3 million years for a signal, radio signal, to reach outside the galaxy. do listen if they want to talk to us they can talk to a stupid you know i mean that's dumb

33:27 something out. Like if you're going to roll your dice, yes, there are probably bazillions unite us all so we'll realize that we are human beings and get along. But I always try to explain it as if it's a radio. Well, I don't know about that. on right now that we can't even wrap our heads around like when you when you when you hear about seen that this is the latest thing they've created an artificial leaf that actually has actual artificial photosynthesis.

36:42 I thought maybe it would get us to solar and looking into photosynthesis and all that stuff, It's fine to be scared by nuclear energy. I see that in having kids. You know, it's like, it's so easy for people to just be like, who cares about Japan? That's the most disturbing thing I think I've ever seen. The a guy squat on a mason jar and it popped in his ass. What were you saying about that? What were you saying?

38:27 when I look at the TSA procedures and I retest a whole bunch of machines because it was like 47% was the number. any better at the sad state of affairs but the point is that Any women who's only into men, like men power and man power, or even into it to the point where you're promoting it. I'll read the description. date rapists and creeps Watch this, though.

40:36 Listen to this. unconscious masculine in the past and present. They're enlightened. I admit it, I can only think about Kevin Rippin living in Mung. that guy's just looking for pussy look at his little smile at the end has often been unconscious It's a woman burning at the stake. Masculine psyche many of the men who have a pretty has this guy's masculine psyche. Pouty lips. You're threatened by it. This guy does not have a masculine psyche. Many of the men who have oppressed him...

43:09 I choose to no longer contribute to those forces. Yeah, so what... Whoa! My dick just crawled back into my stomach out of shame. Look, I understand that Look, women are going to be fine. fine yes we should all be nice to women That would be too exciting. That's what the world is, right? We should Dear women, I'm sorry you've had a Crate and Barrel magazine

45:52 You better be good at massages. Right on the Pilates machine. Yeah, the ideal is great. not being a woman. You can't actually do whatever the fuck you want to do. I was like, OK, cool. Pimp music. Never dated, never messed around. What does she smell like? That whole network pretty much centers around a couple people, you and Extended Play people or whatever it's called nowadays.

48:23 Yeah. Screensavers, Call for Help. And Megan. And so it was just sort of like, okay, stuff. And, and so it got a lot of bad blood, which unfortunately still exists today on the and I still take lumps for it all the time when I go out. and that got around the internet. When Pepsi Spice came out, Where I was only allowed to drink Pepsi spice. Then it became like I started getting open sores.

51:45 A long time ago. I'll get on. What does Google Cash work? basically have the whole internet saved kind of to an extent yeah they really kind of do a lot Your old website's on there. Who's that? Is this something that she like openly did around the office? Oh, you're so wrong. remember when Kat Swartz who's Kat Swartz she used to also be on and everything. The baby's daddy works for South Park.

55:02 gps information or it has you know what it was taken on, what the settings were. hilton to her career but they were not some of them were not the most flattering so explain this should sue the fuck out of photoshop for her own ignorance i mean it benefited her it benefited her all right there was us there We were talking about wet shirts. It was Pavlovian.

56:55 Wetrix, I used IRC for that. Yeah. Yeah, Quake Arena is a shit. Yeah, you're drunk now, bitches. It's amazing. and a few others that are really going to be making actor in that one boom you hit a the search button on your iphone your android phone or the keyboard And if you want, you press OK, and it pulls up the website while the video's still going.

59:05 But this as a step one is fucking amazing. By blocking their content. And now, again, if I had my laptop, I could pull it up right there and watch the full high-def South Park episode, sit through commercials or whatever it'd be right there. Right. If you had a Mac Mini hooked up to your TV. I wanted to watch Jurassic Park. There was the high def rip.

1:00:56 I mean Jurassic Park, that's ridiculous. they have a legitimate argument well is there a bill burr rss feed interaction in here no there's That's fuckery. If we really found out that artificial intelligence actually does exist and what it is is Google, Maybe Google Amazon. It's funny. Longitude. It's weird. They already have Chromium. The idea is that in the future, cloud computing is going to lead to i mean we're going to laugh

1:03:52 you'll punch in your info or it'll to bring it to you phantom phantom yeah oh yeah that was a vaporware console but like if you look or whatever. We used it the other day and you can go and click on it That exists today. Wow. They're absolutely right on that one. it on your show where it remember when i had the i'm an old iphone and i'm an old cell phone from

1:06:33 Totally. whatever. That picture messaging thing was bullshit. to offer this world, is the fucking fact that if, let's say I have Verizon and I'm paying Can't we get that changed? AT&T's data is better than Verizon. get in los angeles yeah is it pretty it's pretty common spotty yeah spotty by the end of the htc 350 to cancel and i've had it for a year and a half almost a year and i just want to cancel i

1:09:16 It's like a drunk, retarded iPhone. I checked my email. There's so many people that have this thing about jailbreaking. That's's too complicated there's so many people though that have this anti-apple It's AppleCare. Command lines only. And the Macs are the liberals. They want to be right. I'm a part of the proletariat. A multi-touch sensitive. I'm like, okay, I'm logged into Facebook, Twitter, email, everything.

1:12:25 okay? Get your own fucking iPad. Is that, Tell her she can use it Have you been in a band before? You name it. Christian rock rules, dude. can't hurt cats yeah it's perfect uh and and i i've seen that with many bands that i've been in Really? appreciate music and i've met a surprising number of them recently who tells you they don't appreciate A really whiny hooker that doesn't like the house music.

1:15:01 There should be a love or a sense or an understanding of rhythm. It brings you back to moments of your childhood. and it seems to move some people and all that stuff. So tribal music literally fires up shit in your brain. We need to have you and him together because he's got some crazy theories about music and 10th nope you're cut off son through september 16th you were august 9th is that what you said

1:16:57 We're losing the Google searches. Let's create a new sign. That's November 29th to December 17th. changes us going on in us? it would have to be could i mean that's a that's a big difference or you grow up with imagery of oh full moon and you like if food you you like freeze food and then thaw it out and then freeze it again you it's And it has a massive psychological effect.

1:19:48 I mean, the half-life is there, but it'll compound in your system. And you know, back then you didn't pass on bread. There was no like, um, you know, Cayenne, pepper, and lemon juice. all this bullshit i don't know why i guess it was so you don't die Did you lose weight? What people don't understand is that completely fucks with your metabolism. why people do it it's not you want to find out if you have an issue what it does is it does

1:22:31 You analyze your diet. Please take me into your bosoms. She wrecks the whole thing. Doesn't he sound like Zod? I don't want to fuck you tonight, sweetheart. Just get to a goddamn powerlifting gym, son. You need to work on your base, okay? joe rogan.net he fucking took like this audio bobby telling these two stories and it's by the Oh, eating yogurt.

1:25:14 Bobby Lee is awesome. we fucking get on that shit i know there's a lot of really talented people out there and that's Really? We need to go right now. He goes, actually, I need to talk to you. This was like, what is it, 2002? He's a very odd guy. a minute-and-a-half video that just was like, oh, you want to fight? Like this really expensive software.

1:28:02 I just went to Gaydemon.com. Look at this. Gaydemon.com. and then below him Other guys. We're getting our dick sucked. that's a great website I hung out with the Asian you go to his house He just happened to have all these cool statues all out through his house that of the human centipede like I know they were promotion He wrote, We're talking about spectacular new things that are in our world right now. It's not just about consumerism and getting wrapped up in this whole, hey, I'm not into

1:31:16 So all of a sudden, these things that you can't attain become evil things or bad things or negative things. You've got a carbon footprint, motherfucker, all right? All right, you stupid fucks? a materialism quest. You know what I say? Maybe he is capable of playing this game. I mean, that's really what it is. There's things out there that are amazing.

1:33:35 You want to have a 3D argument? how much is this tv and they didn't like the tv on there was like pretty much the same but then for the special receiver You got the 3D glasses, You get to have a fucking migraine. It doesn't do it well on everything. we went to see people were like, that's all there was have you played call of duty in 3d i have played 3d games yeah it's cool the

1:35:40 or Dr. Drew admitted that that could cause your eyes to bleed. But no, no, I don't recommend 3D TV. Amazing. The translation might be better. is step one so step two is they have these uh augmented reality markers that you can throw fucking thing. You can look at the microphone and tap it. having a communal game anti-consumerism Twitter dick. I thought that was

1:37:45 Where are you guys going? I heard that that movie, Source Code's good. What the fuck? Really? No. I'm kidding. Well, just go see Arthur. Go see Arthur. What the fuck? Why? until I watched him do stand up. Yeah, he's a fascinating guy. Now, a lot of people accuse him of being arrogant, but you know what I think? He's doing the whole fucking movie. And I'm like, you held this thing, James?

1:39:17 for being arrogant or tough to work with or whatever, interviewing him and i'm just seeing thank God it's away from the camera, No, I didn't. But why would he do that? Because he could. You're totally insecure about this. Is that what he said? fiction that'll hit the net very soon yeah that james cameron that guy's doing was like he played the game so well, was so charming,

1:41:58 I'm going with it. My girlfriend, Bridget, at the time, we got up early and we sat in front of the fucking racist that's why well and the glove didn't fit it was a little bit of both and it was also the yeah they definitely got out of line yeah they definitely got a little crazy but but the notion I have a deep respect for cops. Yeah. She grabs a hold of him

1:44:10 Oh, boy. Yeah. Yeah, that's a troubled kid. what the fuck they did to him. Well, what it seems like, It glorifies it. And I watch it. And I totally do. No I heard about it It has nothing to do She took what was a hot shape, and for whatever... yeah that was her whole whole shtick i love there's a kid on youtube who's testing fruit Yeah, man. lot and I hurt my back I popped what's called a rib head a rib head is a um it's what connects

1:47:44 brutal, but it's part of the game. Uh, started recently getting into weightlifting. No. And it was like morbid obesity was 99.9% repeating. You're so lean. Have you ever seen a standard-def stream stretched out on an HDTV? Heart. we're looking at her and then does pixel detection to see where they're, you know, I call them Renaissance I mean a lot of people, they showed the 300 workout.

1:49:56 Which if you see him now, he did like SNL recently. No, he didn't. I loved him in that movie. She's another one, man. She was kind of hot and cool. The guy from Vegas. I just watched it on TV, on the movie, on the screen, on a plane. Well, you know what's going to happen. What channel? A porn? I was at this chick's house. Was it tennis instructor? because like just knowing someone and seeing them was too, it was a much bigger, much bigger shock to me because

1:53:29 She was a girl that was in a show called Hardball with me. It's not a girl. I'm like, I didn't date't date that girl i didn't date that girl it's a different girl You forget people. when i i used to like there's been a couple times where i fucked on camera before and it was back reprocess Would you think, fucking powerful and that computing power and and what what's capable what they're capable of

1:56:29 ago. the ones and zero data from that. what's that movie again? which was a great shitty movie on Netflix So once they have that down, imagine an app store for experiences. like, okay, this is, this happened, you know, it happened five minutes ago. Now I'm watching on but you're going to capture every aspect of a scene scientist down there that creates these fucking things but um you know he's working on that whole

1:59:02 You went 90s. Yes and no. But it also your senses and just be focused into one thing, that's fine. I don't want any input at all. I'd be game to try it. And it's large and circular. Is to beam it in there. floor of that one yeah you don't want to be fucking blind that's why you don't want the Lasix surgery. Right. How many people did they have to practice on

2:02:25 to people well they've already gotten out like again it harkens back to transhumanism where they we kind of exaggerate that right well everyone we say we're at max based off future projections It's also how much of our energy But regarding transhumanism, when he's got infrared vision and that But he looked fucking swole in his last fight and he was super aggressive too.

2:04:16 With the abs on the outside with fucking eagles on them. What the fuck was I saying before we got into this? Dragons fucking cars. See, now that's pretty sweet. People are strange, man. I mean, there's a reason why Barry Bonds got better as he got older. and it allows them to continue to compete. It's going to be genetic engineering. in mice and the mice live longer and they jump fucking three feet in the air and they look like

2:07:33 at first but there would be a day where we would do the podcast first athletes are on the forefront Talk about the haves and have-nots. It fuels growth and evolution. behind that did you hear about those the kids that are dying off of uh taking bath salts and if you want someone to really try it. Mechanic got a hold of it, and a lot of other people got a hold of it.

2:10:27 that's, it's a good point, but you know, your body also naturally secretes testosterone. Right. And Does it really work? everybody's growing it so they can sue you later. I mean, they'll find a way to slightly tweak modify and then patent the human genome sure exactly they'll Where does it all end? Like we have rebuilt from 6,000 plus years ago. I'm talking about stuff that came in on asteroids.

2:12:45 BC, somewhere around, was that's confusing because there's some Right. It might have been harnessing the power of sun with mirrors and limestone in a way that created a nuke blast as opposed to reactions. Well, there's a lot of evidence to that. Oh, because we use their milk and you know, they, they plow the fields for us. It's like this weird love for this cow.

2:15:10 And we also know that they were big on fucking psychedelics. Yeah. Really? You find them up there? Yeah, you just take the road to Hana and when you're there gigantic organism, life form, one entire part of the country you know i i remember watching or reading something about it and I could hear conversations in the other room How do you hear that? The music's so loud. I can see

2:17:25 like a ticker I was absolutely right. Yeah, like a synesthesia. Just mushrooms. they're firm believers of like you just got to eat a shitload of mushrooms and blah, blah, blah. That sounds fun. And I just did what they did. there's a point it's all about the mushrooms i think why are you saying how do you know that Because if you're saying the most I've ever had, then you don't have experience about taking five grams or six grams.

2:19:35 It could be that. of his that chose to remain anonymous but he was like this like crazy psychedelic guy who every time he did It's incredible. Mushroom's not poison, Brian. to change the chemical composition of your brain to to fuck with your neurochemistry Yeah. the night before a flight to New York and a shoot, but you figured out how to get there.

2:22:47 I could watch TV. It was so humbling and so crazy and moving. I can guarantee you that whatever that is, if it's just drugs, I mean, there's a John Marco Allegro book. was a huge misunderstanding. And it's like, it's really like trippy shit. Yeah, man. was so fucking powerful and magical. gravity to it. And it was almost like I could see wedges of reality. If I couldn't look directly at

2:25:26 And I shotgunned out of it and then it was rotating. But you can't tell me it wasn't as real I had one in the tank where I had eaten some pot. With mine, I was in the center of what it started out with me what it started out with is like i with the tank i mean how many times calmed my mind then it starts to take me away. that was trapped inside some gigantic, infinite, like ball of yarn. And each thread of this ball

2:28:14 Yeah. The deeper I get is the longer I'm in there, the more I can relax. And it's almost like you salvia or needing to smoke some DMT. TV. Fuck all that monk shit. I need Netflix vision cam so when you move around it would make the visuals on the screen go nuts jeff mentor is holes and tunnel and it was pulsating to the Like, totally gave me the permission to go flying around.

2:30:34 That there might be something real that you're about to experience. They've got some shit that they don't like about themselves. right now like what are you doing is that a red watch why the fuck are you staring at me like that And the reason why we're not monkeys. Yeah, psychedelic mushrooms have been around in the current state It's the greatest video ever.

2:32:24 He goes through like the gorilla sutra. Like, he tries different positions with it. He's like, I'm going to sit on my back. Nah poor frog. I love that chip just pokes the shit out of that frog's mouth. He goes through like for a while. Families are there and Yeah, you know, we talked about this before, but I'll just bring it up one more time before we get out of here.

2:33:07 Yeah. What is going on? This is over 50 people. we got to go to Libya. it's all crazy. Pleasure to have you on, and thank you very much for wanting to be on it in the first place. you dirty hoes. Philly is, and that is next weekend too. Yeah. Check out DeathSquad.TV It's Ari Shafir, Where's my flashlight? adult toy