Joe Rogan Experience #960 — Steve-O Transcript

Transcript

0:25 Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- fighter jet to the edge of the Earth's atmosphere. How high was that? Do you know? Oh, I fucking forget.

0:45 I don't remember. Oh, my God. And this is me filming myself. that's fucking proof, motherfuckers. I get claustrophobic. i did a flight with the fa18 with the blue angels once oh they took me up and they take you out. It's you go down to San Diego and then you travel east like through the desert turning and twisting and oh yeah yeah and uh we brought knoxville with us knoxville we had some uh like russian army

3:38 and made Jackass No. 2. Right. It wasn't panda bears it was polar bears and we included that even have sex with a with a hooker without like snuggling after i want to like snuggle I don't care if your fucking pimp So it wasn't negotiated beforehand? in looking back on it, I guess I, I really fucking kind of had sex with a bunch of hookers And this hooker says, this is one expensive back rub.

7:45 like i didn't i've like i i felt like i was having sex with a prostitute but she was a masseuse You should have a fucking hooker passport. more feedback like people just being like dude i fucking heard that like people were like inspired Don't ever do that. I think he even did that on his special. Right. effect of like uh ah you know know, like I'm an astronaut,

10:32 Because I watch Jackass and I go, wow, these guys are so crazy. yeah when that lion climbed a tree and bit your fucking hat here's the thing right and here's the Where they've got like, you know, whatever. Oh my God, they'd kill you. He says, you know, I watched want you can do the dressing room you know he says I watched that uh that um lion clip with the

12:35 He's like, the last thing I want to do is be a fucking fan of Jay Leno. And I'm not trying to, like, just piggyback on Howard Stern being a Stern fan. I just felt like, yeah i don't know is it yeah i think it's fair Look, Jay Leno started out still to this day doesn't put out any stand-up you can't see it anywhere other than like the I remember we were promoting

15:19 Right didn't really need to do I'm sure Jay Leno you did yeah Wow. And then there was all that dispute with him and Howard Stern. Howard always hated him. Because Howard's whole thing was about conflict. know but I'm telling you man I I knew Jay from The Tonight Show and knew Jay Right. It's just a shitty way to get to know somebody. I did. It's so weird.

18:22 And, you know, like, I mean, it's again, of all the things that I thought you were dumb about, because now the president is responding to a guy like a guy on Twitter The whole thing was low level. Like Colbert strange man. He's a like a hardcore Catholic Oh my God. Oh God. as, you know, I'm almost 50. I'll be know if you notice this, but something happens that I've been noticing as, you know,

20:55 If, well, you know what it is? I don't know if I'm gonna resurrect it but the premise is that God must hate it's fucking comedy right? That's a good point. Yes. if I post a picture online, It affects, fuck all these people you know maybe you're delusional i mean i look younger for sure but She went to my high school in London, England. in London, England.

23:51 In England, they have different fucking kind of high school. It's an American school in London, yeah. Really? would ever fucking guess this but my dad was like a baller ass corporate executive really and when i was six months old my family moved to brazil because my dad became the president of pepsi cola How do they deal with you now? And then when I was six years old, we moved to Miami.

26:09 Then when we moved to Connecticut, I want to say that's when dad became a fucking big tobacco CEO. And all the tobacco companies uh started buying up food So they didn't figure out until the 1980s that cigarettes were bad for you? Oh my God, in Australia, it's $20 fucking dollars a pack. One Australian dollar is $0.75 for American. You know? the whole fucking packaging is nothing but one gigantic photo of like a dead baby.

29:04 that's like the craziest thing about it, Brand. And it doesn't work. That's so bizarre. What the fuck? And I forget what the point was on that one, but cigarettes make your asshole bleed. I remember Dr. Drew. Do you feel any ill effects of it now at 43? What? that was when all the, Like actual fucking people, man. And that like, that if you do enough drugs, like that the barriers between these different compartments of the universe and become eroded somehow, you know, like I started hearing voices.

33:41 kind of sense. I don't know. I'm too stupid for that. Right. Me too. But what I'm saying is that my feeling about the world is that when you, when you change and super happy and their life is always happy there's something about when you But I feel like the way you interface with the world becomes very different. Oh, God, I made a mistake. Right. But if you've never looked at yourself, if you've never looked at those mistakes, then you have this backlog of shit you have to deal with.

36:07 Which is what it would come to. on edibles. It's like how I've interacted with other people. And even if I thought I was justified, and maybe I was justified, when it comes up on pot, especially on edibles. aggressive right maybe I could have handled it better Right. I think I would take the yoga. After post-yoga class, that is the friendliest, nicest group of fucking people.

38:42 Already? coming down on himself. or not we should talk about it like when it came to the actual show itself. But, You said well, I just love stand-up. So like I want more I want there to be more of it Sure. You know what I'm saying? A joke? I was doing a show at the 930 Club in D.C. person who appeared person who appeared the from the 9 30 club um if that was the safari or 9 30 one of the two i don't think they have

43:22 and uh the the sense that i got and this is a pretty fucking outrageous take on it, was that here was this person who was kind of, I don't know, damage is a mean word, but this person wanted to be loved, wanted to be accepted. Dr. Drew says, you know, I'm paraphrasing. And he said, I didn't know that was the case. What? Jesus Christ, of course it feels good to rub your balls.

45:39 that have been born. He fucked up when he started talking about Hillary Clinton's medical condition on the air. This doctor commented, but then they have to clarify that this doctor, the person they're talking about wasn't ever one of their patients. Bill Clinton talked about how she was in recovery for six months from brain trauma, from having a seizure, falling down and smashing her head off the ground.

47:08 I talked to you about it afterwards. And they dropped me from up there. is more soft, too. I'm not going to do that again. is like slamming for cte if that's the case if you have that gene if you don't have the gene then you're more fucked. You're more at risk for CTE if that's the case, if you have that gene. that test because what happens if it turns out that you do have the gene there's nothing to do

49:02 but the bottom line is anytime you're getting hit in the head, Oh, yeah. It was so bad because here's the thing. His name is Umaga, this fucking jet guy. But we know what the moves are, hitting so much fucking harder oh yeah i know what it was he jumped off the top rope on and and and But he's offended because he's like, I'm not. And I don't remember

52:02 I went back to WWE brass Because when I get hit really hard like to me like I react I laugh Yeah. slamming jumping from the top rope i get get it, man. Massive, massive trauma. in and I started barfing. It's like you ever wake up, I'm sure you've broken up, hungover, you feel jet lagged like you know jet lag you're like oh just if anything i'd feel tired i'm always fucking tired right now

55:12 Do you ever get your blood work done? I mean, It could be like a niacin thing or a B12 thing. like I was saying. I went to the fucking chiropractor. I've been to chiroDC. It's that one's a fucking chiropractor Cat callous or not callous the I don't know some kind of fucking buildup My neck is more fucked up than anything, and so then there's more of that.

57:10 And, you know, you go to this physician. And I was like, Jesus Christ, that's exactly fucking me. They said I have a mild to moderate sleep apnea. Oh, okay. I have to do that immediately. Your tongue, as you lay back, especially if you lay on your back, it falls back and covers over your air hole. Yeah, and there's and there's I just couldn't fucking do it's too weird. You're sleeping with a Darth Vader mask on

59:14 We started out with some sort of a brain damage thing. fats how much uh healthy fat is in your diet because fats and even cholesterol are fat. And most people assume that It's really sad because so many people to this day run around worrying about saturated fat and not worrying about sugar made so that they can still fuck people over for 12 months and make money.

1:01:46 I'm fucking crazy about these fucking guys. in the nabisco skybox and i tell my dad dad watching motley crew through a plate glass window Bullish I forget what it was I think they started some kind of fire or something crazy like I can't fucking check into the hotel as like Frank Carlton Ferrano hotel answers I'm like will you please put me through to Mr. Doc McGee's room right and the yellow pages. And when the hotel answers, I'm like, will you please put me through to Mr. Doc McGee's room?

1:04:20 And my mom's pissed because there was no call waiting. And I fucking sat there for probably two or three hours just calling hotels. And I told him, I just called every fucking hotel on the Yellow Pages. And he says, how would you like if I put you on the list for backstage passes That's actually better than the first row. You're like a little back oh dude it was it was the dopest i was fucking headbanging

1:06:09 I was fucking 13. and there's me them about but the fact that i was standing next to those guys and i was like you know what i'm Oh, no. Yeah, dude. Right. Yes. Brought up a la magic. I'm only gonna say this like quickly Yes, he's very funny. So you've been doing stand-up for seven years now. And so I tried it that night. You know what that's like, right?

1:10:29 So I'm like, okay, my comfort zone, and I got to get out of it. fucking 10 i wrote a fucking set and i went over to the laugh factory and i did it and i was I worked it out and I recorded it. that this thing that I consider my calling in life, You know? like whatever. Like it was almost like he just forewent the act of performing comedy to Just so you know, what you're doing isn't taken lightly.

1:14:33 And I'm like, okay, to the Al Madrigal thing I talk shit on people to everybody under the sun, I actually don't feel bad about fucking talking shit on Steve. You know, you saw it. We talked. Yeah. And, and whatever, like he's just got, that he said from the stage and like i got so bad i'd have fucking shaved that night you know Were you that pissed?

1:15:58 I haven't. It was. I do this. Well, thank you, man. Doing actual stand-up. And I'm glad that you make that point because, yeah, it was fucking mild. I guess. I don't know. I just think that, like, I just would imagine that so many people have shit on you. I guess. That's not taken lightly? He needed an assistant in quotes but you know, meanwhile, he was a man.

1:19:03 People are like, this fucking guy, he's doing stand-up. You're a big, handsome gorilla, and you're on stage. And I told him he should do stand-up. Sure. And he had a real good set. to see me they were rooting for me they wanted me to do well for some reason like like i'm i can be I'm like, no, I'm going to do fucking, I'm just going to go up and wing it.

1:21:08 right now you know it's like a thing i got a reason to be there and i go to the comedy club He said, let's do it. about it where's marty's it's uh it's on sunset boulevard uh right by rock and roll ralphs it's he took me under his wing, And that put so much Yeah, Here's all the stats on which is born with which, It is when referring to humans, I think they stopped using that word.

1:24:00 Alpha reductase deficiency. I don't even want to know what that is. Are people born with both a vagina and a penis? I mean, how much did he really learn about this stuff? for like a victory lap Well, that would have been really funny. film it's an international drug smuggler skit i'll do it in one country and i'll fly to the other that when I tried to fucking swallow it, it got stuck

1:27:26 So you just swallowed a branch? You basically swallowed a pot dick. Yeah, I filmed everything. Which just demonstrates that everything is not only not truthful. Wait a minute. No, you see right massive. Oh my god. I swallowed that yeah, I got stuck in my Yeah Oh no and Knoxville's like dude you're gonna die of intestinal strangulation It's a big important part of the...

1:30:03 every time we would like i night, nice and small, pack it up. Those ones would come out in, I don't know, like one to two days. When you lit it, did it ever smell like a condom? Alcohol is one of the most dangerous physical addictions because when I watched that documentary, Amy, She just tapped into it, whatever it is. I've never really sat down and thought about it.

1:32:47 and Adele. You're really talented. I'm so out of the loop. He said it was his jet and that's what he got busted? Yes, very similar. Of course It doesn't jive. That's so stupid. I had a terrible time tenderloin's terrible The rest of the weekend, every single person I said, yeah, I got my fucking window smashed But it's always happened. I was getting ready to go fucking film.

1:35:58 With a really valuable People don't know how bad the tenderloin Plus, we sat by the window so as to see the car in our line of vision. There was a house that was for sale for over a million dollars and it was a fucking tiny I lived there from age 7 to 11. It was weird. It was just, you know, this was during the Vietnam War. It was like hippie time. It was weird.

1:37:40 It's like a real estate app. West Vancouver is pretty fucked up, too. So you had a bad time in San Francisco because you parked your car in the tenderloin with a lot of money And then it aired in March of 2016 I'm really fucking thrilled with it I guess it was tied up for two years I'm fucking stoked on how that came out. I would say, after what I was

1:40:07 Yeah, this is the best explanation I've found. their external genitals tend to be iffy. Photo. That makes sense. Persistent cloaca. Corrective surgery is costly, complicated, and risky. Why does it look like that it looks like a chicken yeah well that's uh like an autopsy yeah that's not good that's when it didn't work out It looks like it's slit. It's like the lizard dude that cut his tongue.

1:42:37 Yeah. Big fatties. and they'll take his dick and sew it onto you, and it works. dick she cut in half she basically just slopped the top off the window. Yeah, what a terrible woman. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just laughing, thinking about his willy spinning around inside that garbage disposal. because sometimes people want to make like a female version of jackass where girls do like

1:45:12 it, they're, Okay, Joe. Funny what like did they make it funny because a lot of people can make a lot of things funny shame funny a ywani and jay chick fight because she beats the fuck out of chicks and bashes her face in and cuts event Joanna Jacek But she beat this girl up so bad that it was fucking disturbing. I mean, in the cage with her. And she's from

1:47:59 first couple of rounds and then by the time She's just kicking at her and smashing her in the face. But look at that. These short elbows. Like, look at that girl's face. I bit. There's just no, if she got hit at all, which I'm sure she did, but look at that, these short elbows. Like, look at this. what an honor to sit next to Joe Rogan as he essentially commentates a fight.

1:49:32 We don't really have to talk like we're fans of each other. Yeah. my dad's gonna be staying with me Great. and you won't do it like that well i think that mentality that ronda has is like a she's a like You know, like her animosity and her emotions and shake their hand and hug them and he was always a gentleman and when people have that But to have those two dudes after the fight, both are bloody and battered. Both of them are just

1:52:39 is squashed after the fight and people hug it out. deck they'll bring someone on the road with them that's terrible i try to bring the funniest young you know I was just so stoked He's another guy that, like, he spent too much time doing other things other than doing stand-up. That's when I met him. But yeah, my thoughts are that we should, I mean, if you like, like, everybody gets into comedy because they love it, right?

1:55:08 want to be the only one who's funny it's crazy to me it doesn't even make any sense and to not It's also, I think it's a famine mindset, Fuck I'm excited for for I haven't watched that. Sorry for interrupting. I watched that Hurt Business documentary on Netflix. I haven't seen that. They put so much into it, and then they had their careers for whatever it's worth,

1:57:18 do it. And you will bank a lot of money if you're successful. But there's this thing that people good money with 150,000 pay-per-views, and he's a multiple-time world champion want to see you because you're Ronda Rousey and you're the first ever woman ass kicker that we've attention on, like just putting his whole UFC career on hold for this Mayweather thing?

1:59:22 You're saying if he wins, what if he loses? and they set it up where you fight, you make $50,000 to show, I mean, I think you should have a purse and that should be what you get paid The thing about the Conor McGregor-Floyd Mayweather fight- Like here it is. Let's be honest about this as much as possible. The only way it could work out well is if Floyd takes him lightly,

2:01:46 I guess you can also say that he doesn't really stand there. No, he never was. He sticks them with some hard shots. it is possible that he can catch him, but and a guy like Conor can do when it comes to the actual boxing skills. Sugar Ray Leonard wanted the bigger gloves, That's really what it is. Yeah, I think I'll be watching that from home. Maybe, perhaps.

2:04:44 Maybe sit ringside. Maybe kind of I mean, he hits fucking hard. Mayweather and most likely Floyd's gonna be nowhere near him when those punches right time and where the punches can come from the left comes from here that means the right's I mean, Canelo was younger then. who i think is rivals anybody that's ever lived in terms of his movement his ability to move and

2:07:53 Juan Manuel Marquez. Then you know what he does? He's never going to come in slipping. And then people wanted him to get his ass kicked, He's got this crazy house in Vegas. I mean, he tied Rocky Marciano's record for having the most successful fights ever. 49-0 as a champion. That's unheard of. Unheard of. And Rocky Marciano's record is a little bullshit. Because Rocky Marciano, Italians right now are going crazy. What the fuck are you saying? Rocky's the best!

2:10:14 validated. I'm pretty So his brother gets in there and goes down to a body shot or something. look anthony rumble johnson who's one of the best fighters in the world just retired and he did an It's also interesting because he's one of the best fighters in the world. So, Anaheim, you're there. This past weekend, Daniel Cormier hit Jon Jones in the face with a water bottle at a press conference.

2:12:15 Dude, it's so exciting. And then they, that was fascinating the way that played out. or sandblasting a prostitute. like, I like that John is being himself. That'll serve him better than all this fake uplifting too, you don't get to be He threw a flying knee on Mauricio Shogun Hua. It was bananas. You know, cards fall apart. Oh, that's cool. That was a great great that was the best

2:15:09 who was consensus and the bravado after he dropped him He realized that Dom was hurt and stunned. be respectful Cody will be respectful but if you want to talk shit to him oh You know, there's a lot to it. What is he doing these days? filming a a new show for Netflix called The Indian Detective. Is it dangerous? Wasn't there a movie about carjacking in Camden? I feel like

2:18:20 more... Johannesburg, I think, is a little gnarlier. I used to dump them in the wrong bottle. And if you get malaria, then what? But then we were eating outside this restaurant on the River Nile. I mean, I don't know. And then ultimately that's what we did. and I'd be able to put my head under the tap and just gulp, gulp, gulp and drink a ton was sound.

2:21:10 That's how you get sick. You know, at a comedy show, especially if I have a meet and greet after the show, which That was fucking cool. I have kids. I mean, not months, but mean the entire fucking year yeah you guys shit on the road right which he enjoyed you know i too. Like, I did his podcast, and we had a blast. It's like, where does his family fit in? Well, he's not really. I mean, he's home during day out of the year. It's like where does his family fit in?

2:23:15 because my sets at the comedy store are always like 10, 15. Just for the weekend of traveling and then the flight. go on a hike, You got to kickstart your body. Steve-O. I find myself, were so fucking ancient, I'll go home and tell her, hey, I told some old hooker stories. then kind of fucking you know i mean i told the story objectively like of what happened and i do

2:25:51 Sends his love. Shit, my next gig is in Salt Lake City, Wiseguys. I might be down to people have it all But the people that come out to the comedy clubs are the people that are tired of the Mormons. He's like, Joe Rogan, you've got to get down to that fucking Salt Lake City. Movie on Netflix that Netflix is doing to comedians for... Alright, well thanks, brother. Thank you, man.

2:27:48 It should be a lot of fun.