Joe Rogan Experience #966 — Tom Papa Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Go to the Jersey Shore Never. Never found anything. Burning hot, you're there. where the Civil War went down See, Two million dollars Is that 4 million? Wow. Oh, my God. You know what I mean? So like the pirate treasure gets wiped up onto the beach. that's incredible. The last person that touched it was the person that died there. I think you're actually supposed to leave them there.

3:37 But just say, just leave it there. And she lost her ring. Holy shit. I mean, they probably told her what trail that, you know, they took or whatever. That's pretty gangster. Do you have to wear sandals when you do it? Ooh, yeah. Is that the best one? I went pro, bro. You know, Oh, you went pro. I went pro, bro. Oh, man. There's something corny about it.

6:22 Oh, it's $8,000. It's a mine lab GPZ. It only picks up gold? it gives you different readings. this is one of those things that there's a fucking rabbit hole and you start Oh, yeah. There's been several times that they have. It's probably a good time to do it. so it's really touch and go. and it's super squirrely. She's really friendly. What, the most?

9:16 You shouldn't have done that. You didn't say that Everyone always forgets about emeralds. That's not even the best rock you could get. Are they for dudes? Right? Oh, nice ruby. Being all Irish and shit. Are you really from New Mexicoxico show me your artwork show me that you're really kicking ass with some indian artwork near my high school The silver man.

12:22 Hey, he looks Native American. Same guy? That is the movie that wrestlers watch for inspiration. You should probably go back and watch it today. I remember thinking blues brothers blues brothers back to school yeah come on so that means that maybe alter He morphs back into a monkey, and he breaks in the zoo and kills things right that's right on. could shit and piss into the water

15:11 that one i've never done that one the one i've done is later in the movie as uh his character Yes. Oh, yeah? So she would be like up to her waist like in the hallways and then she'd come up to a platform to cook or something? they don't have the ability to make the sounds that we make because they don't have lips. pulling that up i was going to get to that jamie my love's pa remember that movie yes this is why

17:42 Right. have my sock on and I said what did you do he goes he was it's fucking dorks I don't think it's you. Okay. in the vet right now actually i got it i got a call her i left in a it could have been a snake Oh, really? But he wasn't swollen when I brought him to the vet. on my way here from eating raccoon feces? Is she? I'm like, that's the only thing I could think of because I couldn't.

21:05 animals that's when shit gets weird right you know like if a wild animal like you could eat a deer You would see worms literally coming out of their butt like they they poop and as they were walking away you would see worms literally crawling out of their butt and you're like okay and you're like Yeah it came out it came right out I've ever had But for the most part, he does.

23:11 You'd have to grab him to keep him from eating this shit as it was coming out of his ass. But the good thing is it made me really diligent about scooping poop up in the yard. We're going through the same thing. Yeah nine months Right on her head Like right where I was walking No, I got to it before it got to me No! No, it was just something in me Like said I don't remember. It had to be a nice boot. It was definitely not a wise move.

24:41 He's not looking. is humans run from me. all the rattlesnakes to die. And it's not my house, I don't bother them. Easily could have happened. and the thing just went and ran past it Oh, Jesus. They make snake proof boots. These aren't rather than you guys. Okay. But if it just came out this morning, look at that beautiful. I'll give it to the family tonight.

27:31 Oh. Put it in the fridge. butter. It's dangerous. Oh, it's It sounds nasty, but I'm telling you, it is the most delicious thing I've ever had. Mix it all together. Oh. It's not all covered in. Like it's a Musso and Franks type thing. I think it's like 1915 or something like that. It's a smaller glass. Come on. Yes. They're not that into it. Yeah, there's like, what's the Rayos in New York?

31:03 Yeah. everyone that smoked them there einstein patton roosevelt all of these people and they and the place is covered with it and then i roll in there Babe Ruth. Holy shit. One place, one night. It's a beautiful painting of this beautiful nude. be up there? What happened to pipe smoking? But you smoke a pipe, the ladies aren't as offended. I don't smoke it.

33:56 All tobacco. I understand trying to help people with the cancer and all that, but at that one place can't keen still smoke there should be places that you could You could do that in a cigar bar. Thank you, Steven Crowder, for the lovely pipe and tobacco. You'd have to be like that Hunter S. Thompson guy He did it because he was just so far out there

35:29 I would like Chris Rock, now that he's divorced, to go on stage with one of those Hugh Hefner velour jackets on. Yeah, it's a red from Brooks Brothers. I would say legit for boys, no age. They would climb into the shower and like point and laugh. I've got to walk down this little hallway that would be okay if they happen to catch me to my so that we my seven-year-old

37:12 That's my little one. Or not the same kind of weirdness in the house. and what was going to make you feel good. Yeah. my memories because like when my dad said that to me he was like he was 28 yeah you know what i mean he had no idea when he was 28 before the There's an adolescence now that's extended until you're mid-30s. where they had to work harder?

39:53 Well, apparently, the live longer thing, a big part of what the live longer thing is, But I believe he was the one who educated us on that, that what's going on is that you're counting in infant mortality. Yeah. of factly just stoically he's like i don't have much time you know and for people in the messiah I guess people who are 65 and older of something if you just die of old age what is that number and has that number moved yeah i think

42:51 phone see if you got a text why it's the worst this phone thing is such a a life suck it is I have alerts for certain breaking news things. It was nonstop. I heard some congressman on Face the Nation say that. That's more dangerous than just, Right. Yeah. What the fuck, though? working on that. nuclear waste as fuel. They were talking about using nuclear radiation from

46:23 to Google ship. so Wikileaks at some point Well, Comey's saying that one thing seemed to be counterfeit. It's weird. They weren't thinking like politicians, made that deal with them. you ask him a question you'll be like so what do you think about palm trees should we save those he's so nuts it's so weird who's the guy he pushed out of the way weird he's the um the leader of

49:22 everything every conspiracy theorist is fucking terrified about. Yeah. It's a fucking movie, man. It's a comic book. let's take a picture by the fountain instead fuck man just it's all of it this is so odd it's so I'm not trying to be corny, but I really believe that back to basic You have to learn it. What was the other question that we were asking about when we were

52:01 added into it. Right. Yeah, I think that's always added on NBC? Is Donald Trump a ramp up in popularity over Jerry Seinfeld? All the light on the floor is blue. Dr. Strangelove? And they're people that have an extraordinary amount of power with not nearly as much oversight. I mean, look, you have to deal with, you know, good and bad. famous yeah well i think that's kind of the same way with politicians we've always thought of people

55:01 But if it was like a friend that was doing that, you'd like serious problems with them yeah you know yeah but look it's things have to be a little dirty because parameter, that bar, you're never going to have people that are good enough. Yeah. Yeah. What I'm saying, though, is it's a very unique moment in time This is a flood of information and access and attacks and praise

57:21 But what I was saying is that, like, politicians were always like a thing not like you or I. The new Fear Factor that's coming out? You know what I'm saying? He was tall. on the side and it wasn't for the cameras it was just for me and it felt kind of creepy There's not one human being I don't believe in the country that doesn't have the word Trump go through their brain, whether they say it out loud or not.

59:09 There's initial disbelief, then there's an aftershock, I mean, you know, you have a great joke when you've been working on about this isn't a job for one person. He has power. before it's like a kid hearing like having a dad be batshit crazy in the house the house is going rolling back the standards on the EPA, Who knows how that works? Who knows if they had made some sort of an agreement? Yeah.

1:01:20 The head of the EPA is an oil guy. He's getting his friends rich but oil He said, so you're trying to separate emissions and all this stuff, but just the food that we eat is so tied to oil. They'll they will when they go into the environment. They'll actually I don't know how many years, but many years. Holy cow. And then it's stacked up to the point where we're dealing with enormous amounts of waste being put out by human beings every single second of every single day.

1:05:13 And we're not really thinking about that. i threw them into the garbage yes when i got gas you know i threw it at the garbage can at the gas yep like i'm all for farm to table and, like, knowing where your meat comes from. You know what I mean? Maybe a fern. This is some serious amount of food you need to feed 10 people. What kind of soda do you have?

1:07:44 There's a new bathroom they just put in. I don't know what they did. It's so gross. came running inside and she's like oh what is oh oh my god And the dog is so happy. I don't know. Have you met these guys? job of wiping, and then he reached back and felt his butt and then smeared it on his face Oh, it's terrible. Is he off the cell phone now, even though he's here?

1:10:35 He'll send you a text. guy. Shit face. Yeah. It's true. I really hope Comedy Central never cancels that thing. Yeah, they just like seeing it. we're seeing like yeah a side of it that's not real now you're seeing like There was no girls It's like going to a sports bar Right Right But we're here to not be with you right now Those guys who don't even ask.

1:13:28 I did that once in college. You know who you pussy whipped mongrels are. Fine. Oh, great. Tupperware. and there's like a whole table of girls? They're so I thought she was your friend. You need to light a cigar and be alone. Like if you're on top of each other each and every day unless you're a Yeah, and that doesn't mean you don't love each other.

1:16:27 My only friend, the end. I know what I'm doing. There's nothing more frustrating than being around two people that insult each other like slyly in public. There's no reverence in death for the bad ones. So we were talking about a car. Doesn't even take his pants off. be a pilot yeah so he would be on the set and during the downtime, he'd be reading aviation books.

1:19:22 crack up during a filming. Yeah. He was so professional, but he was like a very, very, very intelligent man. He was also one of the writers for Pee-Wee's Playhouse. Yeah. like i said i just like quiet i like peace i see things that are pretty like nature and he's like Right. Yeah. And that's kind of my limit. It's crazy. At least 16 years older, maybe more, maybe 17 17 18 years old or so yeah and he was a star already

1:22:13 Yeah. and then he would like somebody like sir can I get out of my class? He's like, oh, I think I'm going to go on stage someday. together it just makes them insane yeah yeah yeah but the real one of the real losses as a fan of How many? when people are in those combative relationships. The really crazy ones. The next thing you know, you're making out.

1:25:06 Jesus. I saw a house on fire yesterday. And it was up in the hills, so they had to- a whole house on fire of Oprah There was a lake. And we were dropping these people off from helicopters the And I didn't see his head splattered And the entire right side of the highway was ablaze. And it was crazy. We're barely removed from it by a patch of asphalt.

1:27:45 It was crazy. And that's my other dog. out in, like, rows of cars, people pulling out of garages and shit. Yeah. And he goes, yep. Yeah, that's like glass half empty squared. Do you want to be somewhere? You don't want to be a through several seasons of horrific events Yeah. I watched like a little bit of it. Yeah, and here's my question. Big Sur, Ventana, whatever ranch, Canyon Ranch, whatever.

1:31:26 But let me see what it looks like. Up the one. The landslide extends a quarter of a mile. and don't know when it will reopen. Metal detector. You can't. Those places are isolated. Imagine if that's your house. I did it. It's still moving. So it's still in motion. But it was like, the bottom floor bedroom was like the water would literally go under it.

1:34:13 and the sky is black and you're like, oh my God. That's right. Got concrete rivet. Or you don't have a family and you're just a dude with a surfboard. That would be a good move. I know. Yeah. I just got pipe tobacco everywhere. so it won't put you under. that are in the program. Ooh, strong. I used to like those Hoyo de Monterrey Double Coronas. hang you want to get away from the club for a minute.

1:37:40 This is a good time, man. It really is. He really makes me laugh. And what it is, is you find your oldest comedy notebooks and you bring it out and go over your material. show that he's coming out with called Something Notebooks with Owen Smith. It was like needles through my soul reading off It's stand-up New York, like in my first year. I thought it was Kinison.

1:39:53 It's the closest you get to a guitar riff. see stuff they already knew yeah Yeah, that is so wild. Still, to this day. we were 19. laughing. Would he do that the whole way? Right. Maybe a little more. See him in the Woody Allen movie? That one? Movies all weird me out now. Because of. Because he's really good. He's a good actor. Yeah, really good. That Woody Allen movie weirds me out, though. That one?

1:42:33 I think he's still a brilliant director. fucking his daughter how old was she when he met her yeah she was two yeah Yeah I don't know That's that great That great joke by Is that what he did? you find out anything jerking off his dog It seems like it now, right? Well, there's weirdness here. I don't know, man. So there was no evidence to even... And that she's furious that he wound up with Sunyi.

1:45:22 What was the one where it was the space movie? Yeah. worked totally worked I mean Owen did a great job oh that movie was so good he enough for it to bump me out of watching the art. You know, it's like a lot of people die doing like really freaky shit. Accept. I don't want to. That one definitely. Is Fat Albert difficult to find? Yeah, because of the buckwheat stuff and all that racist stuff in it.

1:48:29 Dude. yeah women would smack men men would smack women smack smack i love watching uh it's a mad mad mad You would love it. It's so cathartic in a time where everyone has to be so reserved and say the right thing. Not that long ago, either. I don't know if it's officially on Hulu or anything. Ted Turner had bought up the rights to the TV show Isn't that the deal?

1:51:18 The mayor of New Orleans That's not it. But it was another politician Right. And this is part of making it heal right. This guy takes 20 minutes, eloquently, calmly makes the case in a way that, Yeah. It's both, unfortunately. Yeah. This was fighting to tear apart something. Yeah. You know, it's not always kind of back and forth on the redskins and the indians and uh no why pride is the thing it's

1:55:22 He said, just, it's a business, man. if you're not Oh, I know in this case it is, but it's one of the things that people worry about. I know. People just start getting made I think there are people like taking more things into consideration it wasn't dawkins david silverman okay it was so dumb. It was such a dumb argument. And he said, no, you can't explain it, but you can't explain it.

1:57:16 All right? No, no, but you can't explain that. Right. Being smart sometimes is a bummer. They're kicking everybody out. He'd call women up and he'd be beating off and he's talking to them. fire yep well when you have a guy who's got that kind of power and is that, you know, it's just so weird. Like, all these shows, like, when we really think back, like, we look back at 2017 from the future, and we look at the state of the media today.

1:59:38 But then who does all of the other work They just want you. That's a giant, crazy, tragic event. when people are watching involuntarily like at them at the airport escape it That just can't deliver the news like it's the grandfather to the news reporters being like a shitty guy that just delivered the news as the grandfather? My Walter Cronkite with the news.

2:02:00 hard news to help you rationalize and make sense of the world. Hey, look at him. He's in there. Nine people. Yeah, but it's also editorialized, too. They just put it out. And they have the conservative view and the liberal view. It was Ted Koppel. You think we're bad for America? Because you're very good at what you do, That's what you need. Those old dudes should be running the whole show.

2:04:42 You know something, Bill? You and I have talked about this And in this current climate, it doesn't matter what the interviewer asks him. I think demonstrating who and what Mr. Trump is and I've ruined everything. Like, whose responsibility is it to relay the news to the people? It's called Fox News. which stories should get the most coverage. rather you can reliably assess that this is going to be the news right to a certain extent yeah i think it's you know it's once you start

2:08:08 Yeah. Yeah. So there'll be C-N-E. You probably do dog shit ratings. Somebody's gotta Somebody's gotta put that dude on TV again And these incredibly verbose speeches Oh god With all these people around Oh really? I don't know what they're doing Oh, that's good. Ooh, I don't know. I was running with my dogs. A big one. Stretched out. Flattened out on the road. On the trail. Completely flattened

2:11:46 I don't know if it's a myth or not, but I heard that the movement and keep the affected area does that mean that the person has been bit can hold on a second would it do not have to walk a mile to your house yeah uphill yeah you gotta go I guess the we're gonna be up to three grand all right run the test and then all right now we're three grand It says, my snake questions on Reddit.

2:14:38 permagrant... Wow. Sitting down reduces your chances of fainting within the first few minutes. Do not wait for symptoms to appear. I was like, no, we're going to disconnect. Yeah, we have markers. That's the key. Yeah, you hike out. Stomped on his head. No, I was wearing, I would probably never do it again, He does not think I'm going to stomp him.

2:18:03 Jamie, pull up snake boots because I'm looking at some snake boots. What if it gets you right above that and you feel like such a fucking idiot because you're walking on this? I can see you in that with a big red hat. The bottom, I guess? I guess most of the time they probably just bite straight ahead, right? That's just vicious. lunged forward with hot venom.

2:20:16 You don't have to be lonely. the time if you're a person that's up there all the time i would recommend them like okay let's They're low. They're fast. The thing about a snake is that they have to come up in order to get you. maybe the steel jeans that michael malice was talking about i doubt it does it probably help the caveat is always that it's a state fair.

2:22:53 Woo! on the motorcycle and just drive all these places without the state fair shows. We took the motorcycle and went for five weeks Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they get shitty. Yeah. That kind of like the kid who's been picked on kind of thing. never considering them, never going over it, our initial idea. Yeah. Clintons and everybody has their preconceived beliefs.

2:26:25 I'm definitely not the best at it. And sometimes you have to dig your heels in and defend your position because you think the other person is being illogical. Give it a chance. And do you take it to heart or you're just know, I definitely know I've fucked up before. And it's comedy the whole time. But, you know, I mean, it's just, are you trying to get better all the time?

2:28:24 How many people don't like you for whatever reason? How many people just, you go, I've gone on people's impossible to find the good ones because it's just because you said one word. people from the teams just throw their opinion into the ring I hope you die because you said that. And it's also when you explore why you believe something Right. Or I didn't know that.

2:31:15 even when they know it logically, it doesn't make sense. But I love them. some people will have like these crazy arguments where you just you can't be right or wrong you And if you're on the left, you're most likely thinking that we're in deep trouble. should we have, like, a thing where you have to, like, meet a standard of ingredients? Because for Hannity to say I'm a talk show host, that's fine.

2:34:12 Right. It's the same stuff, right? Ted Koppel to just sit there with his little But where do you get your news? Yeah. Painter? you have to have your, those moments make you more of a person. will bring like a little jet boil and packets of coffee, and they'll cook up some hot water, and they'll sit together, And there's other stuff they didn't put in the packs just so they could have that.

2:36:54 little Virtu, I think they're called. coffee i used to make it out how to do it now i used to be in my shitty new york apartment It's definitely not. Ugh. Because you had stuff in the coffee? Things that have been passed on like if things have been around for thousands of years and people have figured it out And if you can pull it off. of the things that he was saying about meditation is like it can be effective, but you have to do it all the time.

2:39:42 There's a bunch of different kinds, and there's not necessarily one that works best. You don't slow, like it slows your heart rate. It's like by just going hard at these things, it relieves stress in a way. But he's done all of Europe. That's incredible. only time i fell over was my wife and i pulled into a days in in like kansas and we'd done a Yeah. No.

2:42:21 And then one person I know saw a person get hit saw someone space out I mean this place is nuts with driving as it is and I've never ridden a Ducati, but I've stayed in a bunch of them. Very distinct. and now apparently those things kind of have like self-balancing properties to them really Jeez. Go back so you can see those goggles before she puts them on.

2:45:00 Look at that. This is crazy. She stands off of it, and it stays up on its own. Do you think it makes you hotter? It's the sexiest thing it's her pussy it's hot they they go up because it's always fat guys right do you think a girl on a golf course They can't possibly like it. Like the hottest, arguably, female golfer. It's over, okay? You're so sexist.

2:47:39 Because we don't have those bodies. Nothing gross. It's a new thing. Yeah, exactly. Now it's like cactus. I don't think it does, man. But it's a war we will win. Sometimes when I'm driving in my car, I'll grab a finger full of nose hairs and I'll yank them out by the roots. and it may look that way but looks can be deceiving I don't believe this We're just kidding, Amy.

2:50:35 with the timing of natural hormonal fluctuations Whoa. A patch. You got a name for it? I smell it already. I have also, I have purchased a new-sized yoder pellet smoker, Dinner with Joe and Tom. That's done. It's a Yoder 1500. I paid full price for this thing. when a lumberyard cuts up Just a switch? And there's another company called Traeger that just came out with a really super high tech one that's thick

2:54:28 God. I shot a pig. And I have two more commercial freezers at home. Oh, yeah? new one and this new one some sort of a discount Oh so there's no gas line or anything And you can get a good one that's not even too expensive. have to refresh the pellets dude they're so they're so economical like it doesn't they don't Yeah, it looks like gerbil food. See that worm drive below?

2:57:41 Instagram was my friend John Dudley's buddy. He's a world champion pit master like one of those. Oh, yeah bad motherfucker I use butter in a frying pan with some garlic, and I sear that shit out of it on each side real quick, like 30 seconds, 40 seconds. So you bring it into the house? And then I slice into that bit. This stuff is, when you can do something like that and you get good at it, right?

2:59:05 There's something very manly about the real fire. It's primal. It tastes great. No? Yeah. You know, one thing I took off of your Instagram cooking I put the kale in the butter I saute it and once it really starts Sometimes I cook the eggs in the kale. The best. Yeah, I have, I don't think I have that one. They say it doesn't. are putting out false fake news.

3:01:49 blowtorch that I do with Seuss Veed. Again, there's a bunch of different companies. Someone told me if you have a gas grill A lot of big-time steak restaurants still use cast iron pans. And it's more even. It gets a little more... A lot of big time steak restaurants Oh wow. Like cooking vegetables She's a little low iron. I'm not trying to deceive you folks.

3:03:39 I've got a bunch of stuff in June and then starting up again in the fall. i set it up and go do it it'll be probably i did it last july is when i filmed it so we're coming line i want to you know you want it to be better than the last one yeah you want it to be Right, exactly. Become a Papa podcast. Not this weekend. Thank you, everybody.