Joe Rogan Experience #983 — Natasha Leggero & Moshe Kasher Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Yes! There it goes. Right, because you guys would be friends, even if you hit the rocks. and then they came back on the fly they're in fucking Sweden and shit. In the Gilded Age, in like 1900, basically make them your and slavery and the Rockefellers I mean, the difference is pretty shocking. little taxes as possible and form LLCs and corporations and all kinds of jazz.

3:11 Yes. You know, cops would be out of business. Also, there's like no choice. if people are going that's not presidential well presidential means that you look dignified while It's based in this Judaic religion that says, the oldest with the most scars, that's gone through the most battle, and 1700s. well it doesn't concern me what a guy smells like but what a girl smells like concerns me

6:37 my wife is so horny. That he came to, I can't remember who, some comedy person who's like a normal human being. They're Not like So Right. Fucking your wife. Fucking your wife, right? He reads it in an hour? And it's an inhuman instinct, it's a full time job but that's not just what's going on who doesn't understand French Which is informed by movies, really, right?

10:06 Oh, I like to fuck my wife. Yeah. Like I don't even know who the fuck I am He did? But even if he's fake, you find out if he's fake. You find some stuff. You still pierce that impenetrable layer. I think he would be fake with you, too. But even if he's fake, you find out if he's fake. He goes, yeah, just movies. Because he didn't want to pick a Spielberg,

11:46 I think, I got faith you could get him. There's no way you're getting Tom. Keepers? No, the new No, no, I'm not doing a bit. Like whatever Scientology does. Making them have like, Well, you know, the Pope, the last Pope, Ratzinger, that guy, one of the reasons why he had to step down street in LA. And I was like, oh, I always thought See, I don't think that's true, though.

14:27 So Ratzinger moved a guy that went on to molest 100 deaf kids. It's not like they can just start talking. want as a predator But he waited for her to come in. It's insane. Do not touch her. No, you gotta watch The Keepers. But I kind of... Are you even gay if you're a child molester Something needs to change. They had armies. The Roman And then just the whole thing went haywire. Does anybody know why that happened?

17:16 What I've read is that there was a real concern amongst people that were under the tutelage I think it was like a thousand years ago. The hoes are gonna go Like they couldn't get With the latrine a lute. I would like to find out. It was like Robert Plant. Comedians. right now and they're just like trying to like make money it's cool when you go big

19:49 Probably less. the problem with is like you say once they start because the 99.9 percent that start never even Dude, I remember when I would. let a man fuck me 50 times they would rub my back there are men with dicks smaller than your finger. But my point was oh is that Yeah. who wants to do just movies? is one of the top highest paid DJs in the world?

22:30 If you have half a sense of entertainment. a pool. But those pools mask and just go crazy. That's got to be true. the guy that does Bar Rescue, the actual performers. for a weekend, Have you ever had him He was in debt. Why is it even legal for them... He's dice. Like, it's happening. Like, my friend Dana. So he's like, fuck you. Because I'm saying these casinos are not fully legal.

26:43 I think as long as it's on your head. to count cards, what could you do? That's so stupid. Why does Dana White... Joe, you got that. What drives those people? Notoriously impulsive and notoriously susceptible to addiction, whether it's gambling addiction, alcohol addiction. Is he a fighter or something? multiple times a day for years. you like slam into someone's knee accidentally or head.

28:41 Oh, it's worse. Headgear's worse. But the idea is not necessarily just the initial impact it's how much your head moves like how much like the stronger Is that what it is? like Bernard Hopkins that you know fought disturbing things about brain damage What if you looked over and Natasha was crying? they're just like... One's got the head He's got his head in his dick and they're writhing, folks.

31:26 Oh, yeah, that one. So it's people who don't care about brain damage, though? Connective tissue. And some of them say, This is like going on Da Vinci's podcast My perspective is when I see it, We all die. Yeah. And am I going to use it for fun and just go crazy? So for them, it's like, how am I going to use my meat vehicle? Yeah. I know guys who can't even brush their teeth.

33:12 What? Because people have voted on, you know, how do you do it? Always. And by old, it's like 38. just testing your pee for like really obvious stuff but now it's test, and they're just testing your pee for really obvious stuff. Look at your dick, because guys have used rubber dicks. Oh, right. So they're all doing... standards The problem with steroids also is that when one person starts doing it, the person beneath him either will lose or has to be pressured to do it.

36:11 You do? I just think making sports like our main thing. I find it depressing. It's been dead for hours. Okay. What about basketball? You hate it when there's a darker aesthetic. I really want to go deep. Do you weigh yourself in with clothes on? I mean, I'm not like that skinny. I'm just small. Come on, you do not weigh 100 pounds. You're lying to yourself. Do you weigh yourself in with clothes on?

37:58 Yeah, I've got an Alonzo Bowden, two Alonzo Bowdens. I literally don't watch sports. You didn't watch? I've seen clips of everything. screaming. So when I when I went to watch, I was like, listen, I'm just going to blaze out of my fucking mind. And I was like watching this. It is true. I went to the symphony when I was a kid with my grandma. for an hour and a half performance of like something that in its description

40:30 with two different elderly people. it's like unbelievable. And the guys, nothing, iced me out. Like in my mind, you ever have this kind of situation where you're like, this person's going to fall. He just starts to like tip over and he goes for it because I was already like looking at him. gave me a dirty look, and stormed off. Listen to his wife complaining about her stool.

42:39 the worst part of your life for the very end. I stayed with my grandparents in New Jersey and my grandmother had had an aneurysm. I was only there living with them for a few months. people to you and give them wisdom The third way, though, is to go mad and to shit your pants. It's just a dumb joke. Why do we need to have people die of natural causes when they're horribly suffering and on their way out?

45:19 my arm i kind of get it but if someone says i have chronic depression i was like okay what does it feel like i don't know i don't know what someone says, I have chronic depression, I was like, okay, what does it feel like? going to try to get your way out? Another strange thing about mental illness in my experience, It looks schizophrenia is like a schizophrenia.

46:53 You know, and, like, some people are just ecstatic all the time. Have you ever taken, I remember my brain doing things to me that I didn't like. Not apparitions. So a psychiatrist gave you this? It is crazy. It takes eight days to get hooked. They give you fentanyl? No, I don't know We're not going to hurt you? At least at first. You just sit there.

50:11 Then marijuana. Yeah, I'm like, I'm not taking them. That you just go By the way I know a lot of pussies. It's fucking manageable. It seems to me a compound fracture is as bad as it gets, but maybe I'm told it just seems I think burning. Wow. Let me say this now before I forget What? Go to the hospital. the scarring is radically reduced Doctors trying orthodox prostrate burn victims using fish skin.

53:55 Yeah, like literally no scar, no nothing. oh that's it he took it down that's a video of him he showed what Oh, maybe it got flagged. popped out in Hawaii and it was... That was Do you know what's going on? I didn't even know. I guess I could hoist her on my shoulder and walk back. So slam them up against a wall. she has sex Yeah. I'm getting assaulted.

56:13 I'd get her some pads, so I like her to be wearing. Yeah, we should be in jail just for saying this. But most of the time, you're not lucky. Oh, I'd make them find forms, fill out forms. They make you like Instagram. Allegedly. Maybe there's more of that. More crazy people that you date. I've never had. Well, I'm just saying. She kept asking me to put a cigarette out on her.

59:23 she was like what is that like uh the way you say, what is that when somebody's got like an STD? No, she had done it. but if we had, you didn't have permission Not Evergreen, but Reed. Oh, maybe I shouldn't say that. the punchline in San Francisco. me home that night because I was drunk. So thank you. If you're gonna drop that kind of knowledge, pace it.

1:02:11 Yeah. Yeah. If you wanted to support men, if, like, your whole thing is that men are awesome, like, Yeah. at the Women's March, he's like, how did they take off But second of all, the women's march in particular was on a Saturday. and we ended with meet the alt-right. I think I want to know how you came to that conclusion and oftentimes you could find if you mean

1:05:10 the pro-gun, the Second Amendment, right? It's just identity politics in the reverse. I'll never listen to your argument. But for the most part, it's guns, right? of people that are severely mentally It's a lot of them. They seem to me to be a more, I mean, Kent State obviously was the original. Yeah, that. I'm not saying the Reagan thing is 100% the reason for it,

1:08:30 They're all fucked up. It changed the standards nationally. And maybe it's that we have a lesser standard of care for our mentally ill. and just my opinion, and there's some third thing across culturally yeah they're they're way nicer they're just nicer you know Like you just like if you look at the landmass, there's no real line, but you go across that. Culturally.

1:10:18 It's interesting. I mean, it's based on this. You've got to be able to ting, ting, ting, shoot those targets. They want people to break. So I was like, are there any Trump? Yeah, probably. No rapid fire. Okay, go ahead. No, I didn't. No, I did though. two seconds. 30 seconds long. And there's a celebrity wall. So I shot the gun and she shot it and then I

1:13:04 a cool place. It's unsafe. so I think we picked the wrong place at any rate though That's my thing. Bitches be hating our guns. Like I got to get out of here. It's dead. You are not going to make it. Jamie will explain the whole thing. I don't know if it's been 100% disproven, Which one? person's body who Trump slammed to the ground and saying that her face

1:15:54 That's so beneath anybody. He's going off. is like, fuck you all day, every day. Party that are criticizing him. You know what makes me mad we should just be talking about that more like I don't know. All that was was funny. The meme itself is funny. The offensive way that they're used to. Natasha. crazy shit like CNN had a bunch But they are. They're struggling. They're down 20%

1:19:39 Let's pull this up, see if you can find out. What I read No, no, no, I didn't hear it from Trump. And so nobody even knows what the truth is anymore. Yep. That's amazing. Tucker Carlson. Yes. until they make a mistake. You don't think some of them deserve it? and you can stay. I'm sorry. Say it. It's just I have partners who are waiting for me, and if I don't get there right at four...

1:22:08 At four And here's July 19th and Minneapolis. giving people love advice. filled with warts, baby. And we go, well, why don't you once a week put a Or at least for another hour. But I got to call the Uber now then. Have you ever had a more awkward ending to a podcast? I can't wait to hear your conversation in the car. And then Dice always makes him like, oh.

1:24:34 Oh, my God. Thanks, Joe.