Joe Rogan Experience #1424 — Tom Papa Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Tommy Papa! That's straight from Maynard's farm. Because he's... Fuck with me. Yeah. And, dude, I'm telling you, Sunday, my back was hurting. One day back, two days days because today's tuesday so i ate carnivore monday and tuesday everything's normal Eggs, fish, meat. And two pieces of chili mango the entire month. What is it? only gonna eat one i was like fuck it let me have another one and i ate that second one i'm like oh

2:41 It causes you to have these patches where you don't have pigment. I think the problem is not plants as much as the problem really is refined sugar, You can eat cheese. salt and yeast it's healthier for you but i think still i think bread in general just the the idea Well, you remember when you were a kid, you'd make paste? So I put a new series on YouTube called Getting Baked with Tom.

5:07 How'd that go? This archaic system of waiting for Tuesday night at 8 o'clock for a show. Look at you. So, yeah, I started branching out. No, same flour. And, you know, people always talk, oh, it's the water, it's this and that. It's not just to use that as the yeast. And some people say that they import the water. You know what I'm saying? you got rusty pipes you got rats swimming in it all generations of stuff in there there's yeah

8:14 He's always like stolen the virtues of New York City tap water. and she was right she was really right it tastes like carrots yeah that kind of like iron carrot-y yeah there's That's true. After hours of sitting. It must be. Fun fact. I can't go through the world with a place that hasn't been violated. It's like those guys who lay in bed to masturbate.

10:21 Jerking off is supposed to be a maintenance thing. Get to the goddamn office. it was every but every girl was oh no to be approached like somebody in a yeah it messed like look at this terrible technique and i'm running to the car coming a mile away they could shoot multiple arrows. and draw and pull and draw and pull. you see that they're holding multiple arrows in their hands instead of in a quiver.

13:45 And when they were able to do that, they were able to shoot the American settlers and the So he tucks them in his finger and then he just grabs it with the other They would just get slaughtered. They were put out. Okay. They ran things. Yeah yeah and they were thousands yeah there was they were incredibly nomadic they rode horses they were So they enjoyed it.

16:21 a shot. They would kidnap all these white settlers and take their babies and kill their babies. So they didn't settle, create little towns. choose to digest it now yeah you have to choose but a lot of people do choose yeah but also you can put get to the point where you're done with it yeah almost sick of it yeah where something started Yeah. And I just feel like I just have a real affection for all those great New Jersey cities that have been just destroyed by corruption.

19:13 There's a ton of money. how's this place not just kicking ass and And the only way that it ever works, the gay community comes in and says, well, this is nice, and we're going to fix it. So Asbury Park is basically a gay neighborhood now? I mean, look at Malibu. I know. Yeah. But I do feel like there's – I mean, you look back and you read all these books from – like Philip Roth and stuff.

21:32 the nets before they moved and uh it's like this one square block i mean you get on a train you're Oh, right, because you couldn't do New York, right? Yeah, beautiful. Oh, really? You've got to sell now or your real estate value is going to drop what yeah and my grandfather was like fuck you i like black people in the driveway right behind a gate geez yeah he's spending all that crack money crack money

23:59 And they're just like these young little kids but we spend so little time going into inner cities and trying to give young kids a chance But if you can do that, there's – I mean, they're so inspiring when you see these kids then Right. to try to clean up these terrible neighborhoods. And then you walk out into the city and on the way to the airport,

27:23 just all of a sudden these camps of homeless people. 70,000 people live on the streets in Los Angeles. um i'm sure it's all the above yeah it's a bunch of different factors but you think it's mostly if reagan was in office all that shit was going down and people were freaking out because all of a It was fucking really cold. safety net to help these people and you could just see it i mean it's so weird to be

30:18 But it's a matter of whether or not it becomes chronic, prolonged, and what it does to you and the people around you. It's a tricky situation yeah to kind of always asking are you gonna be here tomorrow you're gonna be around where are you going are you gonna be like everyone cares about they want, are you going to be here tomorrow? Are you going to be around?

31:41 it's like, are you going to be here tomorrow? There's no hangout. And it hasn't got its mojo back how And then there was the laugh factory, just like the stepchild. Right. You know what I mean? Yes. Because if you try to build a place in 2020 and said, all right, we're going to build a place like that. It would have to already exist. Yes. Yeah, yeah, right.

34:13 Yeah, that's a weird point of contention with scientists and with people that are open to more weird ideas. but they're not open to everything. It gives you an idea that this crazy madness is somehow manageable. Just because we haven't figured it out yet doesn't mean that that stuff doesn't exist. It's got stuff. And it wouldn't have come from something that wasn't wood.

37:06 it has personality it's alive yeah it's alive if it's not alive i mean it's it's organic that's got an alert on my email the first time like if you if it senses movement it alerts you who wasn't a ghost, That's D'Elia. The only people home are my wife and my daughter. And you think that's a gun in his hand? Was it moving or something? in this picture

39:51 I have a ghost in my house. Doesn't look like a gun, over here everybody in the house has had a little something is your house old it's not old but like poltergeist No. Is that what they call, is a fruitcake, fruitcake is not, that's a gay person. Get the fuck out of here. All right, I'll air drop it to you. someone was standing right behind her she's doing the laundry thought it was my daughter and turned

42:48 It's because it's moving very fast in front of the screen. desk is that what it is yeah that's the dahlia that's the crystalia it moved to the other side Where'd you get this idea? See that one, that black and white one where it showed right above your cursor, Jamie, it's got a whole website dedicated to it yeah Yeah. It is nothing but a video artifact.

44:46 I think it was actually a lantern. captured multiple frames You see a bug. You can see it's clearly a bug. I am a ghost lover. There's something about the belly room. He ate a pound of cocaine that night. comedian i'm gonna this is my fucking stage i'm gonna sleep here so day. I want to be a big famous comedian. I'm us. This is my fucking stage I want to sleep here. So he slept there in the dark main room in the dark and

47:27 Clink, clink, clink, clink. Or he did a lot of coke with Kinnison. good question i've never asked the audience if they feel weird in there no i don't think they a tree yeah exactly now it's like a tree yeah now it's got branches and you can hang from it yeah Yeah, you start getting, like, weird. You brought a bag to Jamie, too. He doesn't have a toaster.

49:40 He's a bachelor. That like we – you know, it's nice when someone works hard and creates a business and becomes successful. Enough already. a rocket scientist i'm clearly not an economics expert. I know. But it's, yeah. Amazon. It's like they know. I don't even know if it was a waitress. yeah yeah yeah yeah that doesn't feel creepy a little bit weird it feels a little weird yeah

52:41 and you know he's a guy that never threw in the towel yeah that's the thing He was Mitzi's boyfriend. Argus Papa. know that was one of the things that inspired me to do stand-up is watching richard jenny on the People don't even know what that is anymore. And you know when it was really great? I still use one from time to time because When a helicopter would go over your house, the signal would break up.

55:35 and the men would sit in there on this tiny little couch, Yes. he was the wow there he is look at him very nice guy bow tie plaid jacket me and otto and george Look at him. I did it. I'm sure it was terrible. That's the only people that would do it. Oh, I know who you're talking about. Back when Howard Stern was, he was still huge. It was before then even, I think.

58:54 she'd have, yeah, she would. Like, Tom Likas was on it, and there was two girls that would talk about sex all the time. Remember? To the set. I think we were at CBS Radford originally, maybe for a little bit. I know. in the great spot and and hook you up yeah on their network yeah they're gonna put you like And everyone was so down. I was like, really?

1:02:09 who would, he would do all the voices, he would do all the characters? If you never heard Phil Hendry, he's a goddamn genius. And then other people would call in like, that man is so ignorant. It was great. working he's probably working with uncle floyd the phil henry show the phil henry show is it Do you have any other options? You mean terrestrial?

1:04:00 a cool thing and we've kind of lost something like because they're talking about the show that's You'll be there. Right. Yeah. Oh, really? Wait, he got fined for that on television? It's not really a surprise that he exposed his butt cheeks in a $10,000 gold spandex superhero costume, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. $600,000. Jeez Louise. Fuck, man. That door was open because of Howard Stern.

1:07:11 In Washington D.C. Mistakingly tuned her radio and asked Infinity in October 1989 for an explanation, and Donahue, which use similar you could get away with a lot And they are really strict. And that's 6 o'clock in the evening in the East Coast. I mean, before Howard Stern, people have to realize there was no one. because they showed that you could do things uncensored right they were the first place yeah

1:11:38 would hang out it was real loose very loose guys would come in hey tom pop is here what's up tom with a fucking machine gun posing in front of a green screen singing karaoke and uh i remember thinking god damn i wish i did that in my house like i want church thing yeah yeah yeah with st patrick yeah. With St. Patrick's Cathedral? He's the best. he was like, fuck, I was out of money.

1:13:30 And they had that thing where they would do both at the same time, right? Yeah, it was like a block and a half away. I really felt fortunate to be a part of that. even when my shows were sold out, I still made it in there. You know? I said that you were wasn't? yeah very often well it's all the subscription you know he's decided to go to a complete subscription

1:16:06 There's a real benefit in what he does I'm sure he gains subscribers. Fuck yeah, it's sad. Opie Radio. if you came like if i was taking a shit and you open the door and you go hey jill i'd be hey you him you know he was screaming and laughing at me and it would be fun right it wouldn't you know I gave Segura one on a plane, and when it landed, he goes, I almost asked to be taken off the plane.

1:19:10 and told her that it was a pot breast strip. no fine stalker patty and not getting fine that's it stalker patty trips out yeah Oh, yeah. but what's amazing like we started the conversation talking about the public access stuff with uncle and try and communicate with other silly people. Whatever it is, 320 million. I need to know because Like, if you're good, it'll grow.

1:22:39 Grind, put them out all the time. 900,000 so many people yeah crazy that. So many people. Yeah. Crazy. Jordan Peterson. We're always progressing as a species. So many people are sending text messages and emails and not talking to each other for long periods of time face to face. that he's leering over there he's crucial he's shopping for toasters right he's the world

1:25:21 places but that's what's crazy it's like you anticipate what we're thinking, and then you pull up the thing before. Here's the problem with ghosts. favorite theaters when you go right when you go performing these theaters and you talk to the That guy. have that in us but it's blunted right by pressures and life and the lack of sleep and really truly are yeah when you don't weird things are when you don't do it for a long time and then

1:28:33 Just whoo. like massive amounts of people dying from starvation and disease and you know it's horrible It's not happening. No, they're destroyed. and more affluent it's not happening they're destroyed And they would see these other people and they'd be like, it all the time yeah like you know they killed like 90 of them with disease intentionally no

1:31:21 She's going to be going to college. Right. so much change right so much change culturally and there's so much change you know just in the It's like we're all packing our boxes. goddamn news shows are dropping off late night television dropping off everything's dropping off Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. transphobia or anything else you know and it's it's disingenuous and they don't realize that by

1:36:19 or whatever doing the funny stuff right things need to be mocked yeah they do including us right of course Like the whole family listening to the radio. Oh, I'm listening to This American Life. It got picked up by Netflix. Have we ever talked about that? And it is so, it just hits. and they're these affluent, arrogant kids and parents. So it used to be on Pop TV, and then Netflix bought it?

1:38:52 Look at those eyebrows. They're easy to digest. For comedy, yeah. I was just talking to Kevin Pollack. What's it called? like the case just that devoured him, They were arresting him. Right. Is that remarkable? No, I know. Yeah. Yeah. It really does. doesn't work it doesn't work no it's just a different he had a couple of bits that are still Right.

1:43:48 Yeah. Dustin Hoffman's the best Lenny Bruce, though. What about Tom Hanks in Punchline? He seemed like an 80s comic. interesting because i saw punchline when i was an open mic-er. I think Punchline came out in 89. October 88. So just signing up on Sunday nights for open mic night and getting my feet wet. the diner in the middle of the day like she came comes to tom to get jokes and stuff and i was just like how cool is that

1:46:29 Hanging out with your buddies at like 2 in the afternoon at the movie theater. Like, what are you? What's wrong with you? how long did your book take i this is my second book that's right and they take they take a a couple of great days happen. I just love that Do you write stand-up like that as well? and then I'll kind of noodle around with it and see if I can go further with it actually writing.

1:49:54 some ridiculous thing that you saw somebody do. And then your mind almost starts to think about it all in its downtime. Yeah, I think that's gigantic. And I just started doing that over the last three, four years. So when I write bits on Microsoft Word, I write it and then i'll just go to my phone writing that yeah that's the smallness of it yeah those little pauses those little beats

1:52:36 Oh, man, you know who was really making me laugh yesterday in the car was Cat Williams. This was, he would just destroy you. says them in his style when he was really touring a lot All that Michael Jackson stuff. Especially not in the black community. down like it did with chris tucker it did deal with martin lawrence it did you know it does a Yeah.

1:54:41 like what you can't just leave do you feel that pressure the But I'm also, I'm very thoughtful in meaning that I think a lot about things. How would I proceed? Being aware that I've got a problem going on or I have to, right? And there's no way you're not going to make mistakes, especially if you're putting out as much content as I do. because it's not that a network is going to tell you

1:57:01 Right. no i mean it's really well made these are dope dope kitchen knives it's not serrated do you have Oh, fuck yeah, baby. Fuck this carnivore diet. We're like, yeah. Pardon our chewing lady. Oh, my God. Drooling over here looking at this. Right, exactly. Well, they just love Disney. Mm-hmm. transported into this area where all these stormtroopers are and the air it's a hall it's

2:00:26 See all those wheel marks on the ground? 20 minutes. 20 minutes. Oh, no, it doesn't why you that not so good the movies have become disneyfied yeah, and that, I don't say that in a good way. where they're making sure that everyone, let's have women run this, It doesn't feel like it's made by a company. liberty this small independent film made in milwaukee with a lot of

2:03:53 it really makes you feel like and go bad means like not make a billion dollars yeah well or lose money like dr doolittle right studio and the studio is like hey fuck you we lost a hundred million dollars on you you fuck Was it good, though? And at first. No, like in the beginning you have a laugh and it's like, movie the room see if you can find that movie that was released yeah there was a whole article

2:07:06 I don't know. So it's not a new movie, but someone just discovered the trailer online. Oh, this is terrible. I think they re-edited it, and already did I think they re-edited it never it almost happened he loved that movie and he really did and he put such heart and soul into the soundtrack Yeah, they're mad at her. They're criticizing Adele as well.

2:09:32 Live a little longer and then... Stay away from Tom's bread. I went to yoga Monday morning. What is that? know grass-fed beef you know or in my case elk you know or yeah i mean i'm sure vegetables are Jeez. Like a lot better. That's what an elimination diet is all about. And I'm also taking fish oil. Yeah, your body doesn't like it. and they were literally starving to death even though they were eating all these rabbits

2:13:30 little bit so you could balance it so would you say maybe 80 this is what i would say try it Is it going to start breaking your body down? Well, I talked to Dr. Sean Baker. So your body's like, what do I do with all this liquid? But if you get through it, and Tom Segura's going through it right now. Because you guys both drink coffee. Right. Yesterday morning I ate six eggs.

2:15:53 Right. They didn't make fun of me and shit. Yeah, that's what I always feel. Nobody bothered. No. But here's the thing. I know. But you will lose a lot of weight. Disney. eaten like pigs that day. When we all took our clothes off and got on the scale. Yeah. Lent. Yeah, we need a certain amount of rigidity occasionally. just count down on your calendar 30 days from now

2:19:58 One day. with dinner maybe two glasses yeah yeah that's all i was shot sometimes before i go on stage I just feel like Oh yeah? Yeah. And what about weed, though, in that same situation? Right. Yeah, it helps me. I like to. I know. It is good. I'll be up on Thursday. Oh, to watch your special? they're all excited they all want to do it but i can't watch it of course you can't watch it you

2:23:20 I've only got about 20. Four solid months. But then they moved it up. It doesn't matter how experienced anyone is. Yeah, it's a great aspect of stand-up comedy when you do a lot of specials And I think that's how Netflix changed the game the whole art form yes fucking hilarious great so different yeah i love it on stage with a suit real angry and shit

2:25:48 It is. when you're a comic man you got to kind of figure it out on your own yeah Like a podcast and do it like a podcast, but call it like the comedy creation series. it's so varied yes you know from doing the show with fortune uh we shout out the fortune femster Yeah. Yep. Like, if you're in Pittsburgh, I don't know what kind of scene Pittsburgh has.

2:28:29 good thing i mean when seinfeld put out the uh documentary like people still listen to watch Yeah. Yeah. They're probably going to give you bad advice. see some names of other people who are out there doing it, You'd have to be really careful because I was breaking down the technique constantly. it looked sharp it was powerful. Another cool part about this era is that people are staying comedians longer.

2:32:14 Like, what was the last person that you know that had a special around the year 2000 that's out of the game now? You know, just think about those, you know know afternoon diner trips and going to the movies and you're like all that goes away if i got a job job yeah yeah and the only way you would do it is if you're not And he also grew as a human being, you know?

2:33:25 He's committed to – I think he signed a deal with Netflix for two specials. I think they gave him a shit ton of money. Got a huge response from people. I know. you do he's brilliant he's brilliant and it's comedy it's so good jamie says just one one Ellen did it. She does. He was always doing those monologues, He's still going now, though. No way. Yeah.

2:35:57 Right. Yeah. He's like, that's the only way. Yeah. Right. All the time. Because he's super popular with his crowd. fragmented the culture is like we were talking about if you're just watching one news or watching he can go places yeah it's really a beautiful balance yeah he can go to the mall nobody gives She works. How old is she now? yes maybe the key is you have to like really be obsessed with your work and doing what you want

2:39:52 And all that noise, you know, she was obviously just even from the glimpse that they showed us in the documentary, Yeah. No, it was pretty good. But the thing that, like you said, it's a weird place to be. Yeah. but it really gives you your life meaning. you can see like this calm come over her as she's doing that part. That's cool. You know, like Bonnie Raitt was just at the Grammys, right?

2:42:53 they stick around and you're 90 years old playing a nursing home but there's still 20 people in the Yeah. That fucking guy, Travis. Because he got so messed up. And the weed was the thing that really made him a kinder person. That's what the world needs, a lot more forgiveness. And I've tried it, my friend. My party's all over before it begins. Yeah, he'll get you. The edibles? Yeah. Joey's edibles? Oh, my God. Really? Yeah, he'll dose you.

2:45:57 Acid. I mean, I've micro-dosed it a couple of times. They find it remarkably beneficial. No. And then people feel like that it just eliminates some of the anxiety It's 3 o'clock. Someday I will. I think so. You're Doing Great. Always a pleasure. Come here before May.