Joe Rogan Experience #80 — Joey Diaz, Ari Shaffir Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience Kicking it live Joe Diaz, Mad Flavor, Did you make that song, Brian? No, it's my laptop. Whatever, bitches. This house is littered. Big fat box of dick toys if you go to Joe Rogan net click the link for the flashlight you go to their website You got to do what you got to do. That was a good fucking time. Texts to me. You looked.

2:58 I go, it's going to be great this weekend. Well, we don't know. Acid's a little different. This stuff is very mild. It was very nice. He vibrated you. Bob O'Reilly singing the song. I don't know. We felt everything. And it was interesting. And then the Bob O'Reilly starts playing, which is if you've never seen it, never been to a live UFC. Dana and I were watching that the other day, and I go,

5:58 The perfect beats to the perfect fucking punches and kicks. And you're there. Like I said, when you're there as a civilian, a fucking head walking along the street. just heads. Well, that's the brilliance about it. Yeah, you just go nuts. I went to a Laker game last year against Wade Wade's team. You have a blast. And what that is, folks, for the folks that don't know, sometimes

8:21 wait until pay-per-view starts. Sometimes you get And then Kingsley came out I remember finding myself like this. Shredded. He was you and shit. You know, there's some dudes that just get so good so quick. This kid is on another level. Yeah, that kid's a beast, man. Yeah. In the 1975 NBA playoffs, one of those years, And he had two brothers and a sister bigger than him.

11:20 Just throwing them, dog. Unheard of before. That guy was fresh out of the jungles of fucking. he got fined how much did he get fined Shaq would just smash through it Oh, okay. Standing next to me, dude, it looked like we were two totally different things. Well, this dude, Darryl Dawkins, played for the Sixers, and then he got traded to the Nets. after every game, they put on new sneakers

13:14 Daryl Dawkins showed me a fucking Rolls Royce with a 14-mile fucking carrot dashboard. A couple years there, I went over to his house like three times. though. Don't live in a tent to have thought about was rich when they were little. Splashless urinals. Save water. They have like a little move, especially one of those splashless. Splashes the urinals, put the cake in there.

14:39 so they try to say it's unsanitary. a nice big one, we had a fucking bidet. Yeah. That's when my asshole used to shine. It's so much better than wetting toilet paper. What am I doing here?